Critiques and reviews:

[hider=Untitled by Viper Commando]Somewhat intriguing, the style has a touch of stream of consciousnesses about it which could work for the gritty, urban feel of the piece. A motorbike journey in such a style could be a very effective short story for showing the world, a mini-version of Kerouac's On the Road almost. However, in this situation it feels somewhat disjointed and at times. The somewhat sloppy use of grammar is also a let down.

But most damning of all, I think this piece did not fit well within the given brief of showing the reader part of the world. It seems to me, to be more of a character study on the individual the Street Viper. When this is combined with its very short length it means that there wasn't enough words devoted to giving me a sense of place.[/hider]

[@Viper Commando]

[hider=Untitled by GeekFactor]I quite like this entry, in particular the opening paragraph was very nice introduction the whole thing. There was good use of language and some quite beautiful imagery laced throughout the whole piece. I did get a good sense of the world described through reading this. 

One of things I would say could improve this is perhaps a bit more narrative flow through the piece. The journey through the different regions of the land just follow a north, east, south, west progression. Each one of these is presented as homogeneous biome, but how they relate, how do they overlap or interact? How would I move from one to another? I think this would help it feel a little bit more natural, a little less formulaic.

But overall, pretty good.[/hider]

[@GeekFactor]

[hider=The Home of the Fairy Dragons by Calle]This piece is pretty good. I get a strong sense of place with the descriptions of the forest and I like the use of second person perspective. After all, the point of this task is to show the reader the world. The use of the second person encourages me to embody myself in the story and feel more connected to the world presented.

Unfortunately I feel that his story does suffer a little bit in comparison to the one above. Both contain depictions of fantasy woodlands, and while the imagery in this piece is adequate, its not quite up scratch when compared with the one above. The use of repetition in this piece is also a bit of a double edged sword. Repetition of key words or phrases can highlight their importance, but with a story as short as this one the reuse of words like 'moss' and phrases like the wood nymph lines can feel a bit laboured. [/hider]

[@Calle]

[hider=Untitled by Candlelitsoul]This is undoubtedly my favourite story from the competition. As someone who has had the fortune to experience Beltane in Edinburgh I instantly realised what this piece was about and it transported me back there. The narrative develops into this beautiful and sad love letter to tradition, memory, and loss. This provoked the most emotionally charged reaction I had to any of the pieces in this particular contest. 

But what really clinched it for me is how this story not only so effectively evokes a place, but how it evokes a very specific time and event. Therefore it is not only the most moving and emotive story here, it is also the only story that includes this additional layer in how it shows me the world and how it fulfils the brief. Not just a specific place in the world, but a specific time as well [/hider]

[@Candlelitsoul]

My vote goes to Untitled by [@Candlelitsoul].