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[hr][i][sup]Collaboration with [@SepticGentleman] and [@He Who Walks Behind][/sup][/i]


[i]The morning after. . .[/i]

The light [i]hurt[/i]. It took a few tries before Eli could fully open her eyes to see a white ceiling above her. Bits and pieces from last night came flooding back all at once, and she squinted as she tried to understand what had happened. The party. Lynn's light show in the woods. [i]Arianna. Two of her...[/i] D went down the ravine. So did Radvi. [b]Radvi was covered in [color=crimson]blood.[/color][/b]

Eli felt panic course through her, but when she tried to get up it felt like her body was ten times it's weight. She grunted, her face twisting into a scowl as she attempted to sit up. Her body went slack against the bed again. She turned her head, finding that it was much easier to just look around than sit up. When her vision adjusted, she focused on the other occupant in the room.

[i]Archie.[/i]

He'd been the one to take her here. How? All she remembered was that it felt like they were travelling as fast as a car, and she thought that she was much higher off of the ground than before. [i]His bracelet was gone, too.[/i]

[color=E5D0FF]"Archie,"[/color] she murmured to get his attention. [color=E5D0FF]"Is Radvi okay?"[/color]

He responded, and Eli felt relief fall over her like a warm blanket. She whispered a [color=E5D0FF]"Thank you."[/color] before her mind slipped away and she slept once more. When she awoke again, Archie was gone from the room and two female nurses were there to greet her. They helped her bathe, and put her in some sweats and a t-shirt. Her other clothes were too dirty to wear home.

They explained to her that there was nothing more they could offer. She just needed to rest, and in a day or so she'd feel much better. Eli took the doctor's note, seeing that'd she'd only have until the end of the week before she would have to go back to her usual routine. As Eli shuffled to the elevator at the end of the hall, she wondered if it was even possible. How could she go back to work, after what had happened?

She stepped into the elevator, fully intent on finding Archie downstairs, but when the doors opened next she found herself in the ICU. [i]Radvi... I need to see him.[/i] Her feet took her towards the nurse's station. At first they tried to deny her, but something came across their faces as they looked the girl over. Was it pity? Or sympathy? Either way, they seemed to get it. Eli wasn't leaving the hospital until she saw him.

The nurse took her halfway there, but she was quickly pulled away to care for a patient. Eli slowly made her way towards his room. Her body felt heavier with each step. Was it her exhaustion, or was she scared to see what remained of her friend? Either way, she finally made it to the door.

Only to hear a voice inside. It was male, and deep. From what he was saying, it looked like Eli arrived a few moments after he did.

[b]"“So… hey, buddy. Lookin’ good.”[/b]

Eli was about to turn away. To find a bench where she could rest her tired legs until he left. She spotted a place not far down the hall, but the next thing the man said to Radvi stopped her in her tracks. [i]The taser? D?[/i] She rested her shoulder on the wall, resisting the urge to peek around the doorway to see who was speaking. He continued, mentioning Gennedy and a man named Wrath. Eli thought she recognized that name from somewhere. Maybe some staff member that worked in the Spire. She frowned as he mentioned new projects. More tasers? Or worse? The image of men carrying large nullifying technology popped back into Eli's head and she tensed.

Eli hesitated as she heard the man’s chair slide across the ground. He was finished speaking and coming her way, and he would find her standing outside of the door. He would know she’d overheard him. Did he know her? Had D shown him footage of that night, of her attempts to help Radvi? The panic made her mind fuzzy. It also didn’t help that her body wasn’t cooperating. So, in the few seconds that the man made his way to the door, Eli could only lean her back against the wall and hope that he would just think she was politely waiting for her turn.

When her eyes picked up on movement, she slowly pushed herself away from the wall. The man before her was short, shorter than he sounded, but he was [i]massive.[/i] Eli wasn’t sure if she felt creeped out by him, or she wanted to tell him to fuck off. He was the one who was working with nullifiers. There had to be something wrong with this guy. She stared right into his eyes, although it didn’t look as intimidating as she was going for. She looked like she hadn’t slept in weeks. At least she was showered.

The man made his exit from Radvi’s room, closing the door behind him. The moment his eyes met Eli, he stopped. A little bit of a scowl etched itself across his brow, just barely noticeable. “Who are-...” He began, stopping himself mid-sentence. After a moment, he raised his finger towards Eli and said, “I recognize you, from the footage. You were with Rad last night.”

Eli noticed the subtle change in his expression, her body tensing again the moment she felt his hostility. She was in no state to handle a hostile, but something in her gut told her to [i]fight back[/i]. Her eyes glanced between his finger and his face. She nodded her head, her own expression blank. [color=E5D0FF]"I’m surprised that the robot let you see that.”[/color]

“Okay, cool, I guess everyone knows he’s a robot.” The man said dismissively, mostly to himself. “Fuck it. Yeah, uh… Rad’s mentioned you before. Uh…” He took a moment to collect his memories. “Essex, right? Wessex?”

Another nod. Eli almost extended her hand to the guy, but the thought of touching the man that was working against her kind told her not to. [color=E5D0FF]"Wessex. I’ve known Radvi for four years now.”[/color] She wanted to let him know that she’d overheard the conversation, but she chose to stay ignorant in his eyes. Maybe she could find out more by acting dumb.

“I’m Trevor. I work in R&D.” Trevor replied, “Uh… listen, I’m not… I mean, Rad… look, just- thanks. For being there for him. I appreciate it.”

Eli blinked, in awe that the man would thank her at all. She looked between his eyes and she could see that he was being genuine. Her voice was much softer when she spoke again. [color=E5D0FF]“I’m glad that I could help him.”[/color] She glanced towards the door and felt a lump in her throat, but she refrained from becoming too emotional in front of a stranger. Her eyes returned to Trevor. [color=E5D0FF]“You’re the one who gave Radvi the taser? Did you get footage of that?”[/color]

“Yeah, I did.” Trevor replied, “Glad it worked as well as it did on Je-... Arianna. Just wish it didn’t go so fucking south just minutes later.”

Eli’s blood went cold, but her expression didn’t falter. Was he going to say a different name? He caught himself in time, but it was still a [i]huge[/i] blunder. [color=E5D0FF]“It’s a shame she broke it,”[/color] she said, her tone matching his. Maybe if he thought she was on his side, which she sort of was, he would keep going. [color=E5D0FF]“The jello bitch got away, and now the best officer out there is down for the count.”[/color]

“Yeah.” Trevor replied, taking a moment of pause. “Hey, uh… you’re one of the folks he gave a PSI chip to, right? The ones coded to Arianna?”

Eli stared into his eyes, red flags waving all around him. [color=E5D0FF]“I was the one who found her.”[/color] She said flatly. [color=E5D0FF]“I want her gone as much as you do.”[/color] She was [i]definitely[/i] not going to return the chip to him. He’d have to force it out of her hands.

“Well if Rad trusted you with one, then I will too.” Trevor said - rather unexpectedly. “D’s got his own and there’s… one more floating around out there, forget who with.”

A brief moment of silence passed between the two.

“Tell me… how well do you know him? Jacob, I mean.”

Eli was caught off guard once more. She felt like she was getting whiplash, without the violence. This guy was either manipulating her, or just too smart and all over the place. Her mind was too fuzzy. She continued on. [color=E5D0FF]“We’re close. He keeps in touch, and I do too. I helped him defend the public shelter, in the breakout.”[/color]

That was it. That was the fire that cleared her mind. The breakout. This guy was definitely one of the people that wanted to just forget it happened completely. [color=E5D0FF]“Arianna was behind that, too.”[/color]

“I sure as shit believe it.” Trevor said, “And just… I mean for [i]that[/i]? We gotta bring the fucking hammer down, right? But the Chief and the rest of these chuckleshits have just FUCKIN-“

He stopped himself again, before his volume went any higher.

“Sorry… sorry, I’m just… really fuckin’ on edge, y’know?” Trevor said after taking a moment to collect himself, “She makes me… [i]so[/i] angry. Especially after last night.”

Eli was silent as he spoke, mostly out of shock. Of course the staff would be furious. She knew that. What was shocking about the man’s reaction was that he felt so emotional about it. She found herself [i]relating[/i] to him. Her head nodded in agreement. She was angry, too, but she still felt helpless. As helpless as she’d been last night. She pursed her lips before continuing.

[color=E5D0FF]“Are you going to make another taser? To stop her? If we’d known the one he hit was a doppelganger, we could take down the real one.”[/color] Her eyes were serious. [color=E5D0FF]“What is Gennedy doing about her? He understands the threat now, right?”[/color]

“He said so, guess we just have to wait and see what he actually ends up doing.” Trevor had his hands on his hips as he searched for his words. “Listen, I… look, I don’t have the best track record with paras, okay? Seen them do some awful, gut-wrenching shit - recently, especially. But Rad-... [i]Jacob[/i] reminded me that you’re not all soulless rotten fucks - don’t take that the wrong way. Point is… I am determined to [i]get this bitch[/i]. And D is too, I’m fairly certain. So… I would say we’re all on the same team here, right?”

Eli was silent for a few moments, still in awe that Trevor was acting this way. Slowly, she nodded. [color=E5D0FF]“I will do everything I can to help. I’ve never seen anyone that could do what she’s done, and there were some serious threats that came out of that prison.”[/color] She pressed her lips together and momentarily was hesitant to say more. She wanted to test his loyalty to Wrath, but she didn’t want to offend him after she just agreed that they were on the same side.

[color=E5D0FF]“It’s all about stopping people like her. That’s what this entire station is built for, right? We’re trained to control our abilities, and use them for good. No one would harm one of us unless they had a good reason, right?”[/color]

“Kid, c’mon, neither of us are that stupid. This station has a prison on it and a bunch of angry, overzealous, high school dropout fucktards wearing uniforms. And I can admit that because, honestly? I fucking hate this place. I just want Arianna [i]dead[/i].”

Eli nodded, although she looked discouraged by his statement. [color=E5D0FF]“We all do. Each side does.”[/color] She wasn’t trying to hide her emotions now. In some odd way, she felt like she could trust him. Radvi trusted him. [color=E5D0FF]“I’m just scared what this taser means. In the long run. Anyone trigger happy against us could do some serious harm.”[/color]

“Yeah…” Trevor replied, “Yeah, I getcha. I know it looks bad - and it’s probably gonna start looking a lot worse at some point - but… look, I’m not gonna condone security using our tech to live out their power fantasies, but it’s not something that’s gonna be stopped in its tracks. Bottom line is, it’ll help stop Arianna. After that…”

He took a moment.

“Well I guess, just… keep your head down.”

Another moment of silence.

“Alright, I gotta get back to R&D, and you wanna… talk to him, I guess.” Trevor said, motioning towards the door to Radvi’s room. “So, listen, you need anything from me, go find D. He’s basically my metal errand boy now. ‘Kay?”

Eli nodded for the last time in their conversation. She found herself thinking that he wasn’t as bad as she assumed he would be. She extended her hand to shake his, in what was the most gracious effort of trust she’d shown to any staff member other than Radvi. [color=E5D0FF]“Thank you, Trevor.”[/color]

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” He said, shaking Eli’s hand, rather quickly and half-heartedly, as he made his way past her and down the hall - like he was trying to shake off the more pleasant aspects of his personality that he’d just displayed. “Don’t go telling any security we’re all chums now, right? Don’t want the fucking peanut gallery giving me shit while I work.”

Eli let her hand drop to her side and watched him walk away. So, he admitted that they were working on more tech. At least it was nice to know that he wasn't inherently evil. She was still for a moment, but she soon turned to open Radvi's door.

Her heart fell into her stomach as she took in the sight of Radvi's limp body. Half of his face covered in bandages. How much of him was still left? Would he even look the same? Eli made her way over to the chair that Trevor left by the bed. She scooted it closer to Radvi before slumping into it.

[color=E5D0FF]"Hey,"[/color] she murmured to Radvi. [color=E5D0FF]"You're still in there, right?"[/color] She bit her lip, her hands gripping the edge of the chair. [color=E5D0FF]"I met Trevor just now. You really know how to make friends. First D, and now him?"[/color] She scoffed softly. [color=E5D0FF]"Anyways... I'm glad you're okay."[/color] She felt the lump return, and tears began to well up in her eyes. [color=E5D0FF]"I... I want you to get better, but don't rush yourself. All of us can take care of the station while you're gone."[/color] She was biting back the urge to cry. [color=E5D0FF]"She won't get away with this. You'll see. I'm going to make sure of it."[/color]

She couldn't stand to say more, and she didn't want to cry in front of him. She pushed herself out of the chair and left the room. On her way to the elevator, she wiped what tears had escaped her off of her face. It felt like it was going to be hard not to cry, but by the time she greeted Archie in the foyer downstairs the tears were all gone. 

[hr]

[i]One week later. . .[/i]

[hider=Lynn]

The few times that Eli had ever been in close proximity to Lynn, Eli was dressed well. She was also smiling, probably smiling too much. It was in her nature to brighten up a room. She took pride in being the friend that always made others happier. Today was a different story. Eli shuffled up to the entrance of El Vaquero. Her hair was brushed, but it didn’t have it’s usual shine. Not greasy, but flat against her shoulders. She simply wore a massive hoodie, leggings, and a pair of dirty converse. A result of carelessly getting dressed, and also wanting to feel comfortable. Dark circles clung to her eyes, but she didn’t [i]seem[/i] tired.

When she lifted her head, she saw Lynn standing by the restaurant. Upon seeing her, Eli could remember the way the young girl looked kneeling next to Radvi. She wasn’t sure if Lynn had been scared or not. It only mattered that she’d been the one to help.

[color=E5D0FF]”Hey,”[/color] she murmured with a soft smile. [color=E5D0FF]”I’m glad you came. I’m starving.”[/color]

Lynn was getting tired of mind games, but at least she wasn’t playing with Denim. Lynn left El Vaquero. She was a minute or two later than she would like to be - meaning she was only a minute or two early. Lynn hadn’t freshened up after her shift so much as she’d scanned around and tried to figure out if there was some angle on this. Her gut was twisting back and forth from the minute she’d gotten the text from Eli. [i]What did I tell her when I was drunk?[/i] Lynn couldn’t remember, only bits, only pieces. [i]And then she sees me with her cop friend…[/i] Lynn hadn’t thought Eli was the sort, but this certainly felt like some kind of a shakedown.

And finding out where she worked and picking a meet-up there? Christ if that wasn’t a power move if Lynn had ever seen one. 

Lynn approached as Eli waved her over. She looked different. Wearing a hoodie? For a brief minute, Lynn contemplated if that was some kind of - no, no, even...no. She’d just happened to pick a hoodie that day. Lynn rubbed at her eyes for a minute. She needed sleep. “Hey.” she looked up at her. Eli was always pretty, a fact that prickled at Lynn sometimes, especially when Eli was being kind, but she looked more like she’d rolled out of bed today. Lynn didn’t get it. And she was glad Lynn came? [i]Wait, did she not know I worked here?[/i] “Yeah, let’s grab something. Basically everything’s good if Ignacio wasn’t the one cooking it.” 

Eli’s brows furrowed for a moment, but she couldn’t keep up the expression for long. It returned to a blank, almost empty look. [color=E5D0FF]”Who’s Ignacio?”[/color] She asked as she turned to push open the doors to the restaurant. She glanced over the contents of the restaurant before turning her head to Lynn. [color=E5D0FF]”You’ve been here too? They have really great enchiladas.”[/color]

Lynn opened her mouth to say something - calling it something [i]smart[/i] may not have been accurate, as Lynn’s sarcastic jabs were usually not intelligent moves in the long run, but something else came out. Not a lie or the truth but something kind of in-between. In a brief second, Lynn’s play-counterplay look at what Eli was doing became very jarred. Lynn had a good eye for bullshit, and didn’t particularly trust a girl who’d spent years up here to be a particularly good con artist. She...seemed on the level. Lynn turned to the hostess, who eyed her with utter disdain. [i]Fuck off, front of house. [/i] “D - Two,” Lynn said. The waitress grabbed two menus and walked them to a table. “Yeah, been here a time or two, I guess,” Lynn said. She chewed on her lip. She wasn’t looking to actively lie to Eli she - “I work here,” Lynn said, so suddenly it almost took her by surprise. Lynn felt like she had sat down to play a game with the older girl, and she changed out all the pieces and rules each time she blinked. “Ignacio’s cool.” They sat down and the hostess left. “That lady’s like, lady Hitler, though. There’s probably anthrax in this menu or something.” Lynn left hers unopened, a policy Lynn took to most written documents. She sat quietly for a second, thinking. Lynn struggled with small talk at the best of times and there was pretty much no delicate way to breach this one. [i]If this is a shakedown just do it already.[/i] Lynn looked at the dark circles under Eli’s eyes. [i]She not sleeping either, then?[/i] “I’d order tequila, but that doesn’t end so well, it looks like.”

Eli raised her eyebrows as the two walked towards the table, nodding her head to let Lynn know she was listening. It was when Lynn blurted out that she worked here that Eli turned to look at her. Eli remained quiet as she sat, preferring to let Lynn speak. It reminded her of their little moment in the woods, and Eli was making sure to bring that up sometime in the conversation. The lady Hitler comment got to her, and the first [i]real[/i] smile she’d had in a week spread across her lips. She giggled when Lynn mentioned anthrax, already opening her own menu to glance over it. The tequila comment also invoked a grin.

[color=E5D0FF]”Yeah, you really can’t handle your liquor.”[/color] She teased, her eyes alight with mischief. [color=E5D0FF]”Only one bottle? That’s child’s play.”[/color] She was joking, of course.

The side of Lynn’s lips turned up in a smile in spite of herself. She started to open her mouth but stopped herself. [i]Yeah, but I know a guy who can’t even take one shot.[/i] “Yeah. We’ll do whiskey next time. Stay American.” Lynn frowned. “You are American, right? You don’t sound weird.” Lynn placed her order as the waitress came by, the woman raising an eyebrow at Lynn’s presence but saying nothing. Lynn turned back to Eli. This felt like a game to her - did Eli or Lynn remember more? Lynn didn’t want to let on how little she remembered of what she’d said. [i]What does she want, if she does?[/i] Lynn wondered. And then, more quietly, she asked herself if Eli would even want anything at all. It...Lynn couldn’t dismiss it. But it was very unlikely. Exceedingly unlikely. Probably impossible. 

Eli smirked as she saw Lynn’s usual pensive frown twitch. [color=E5D0FF]”Born and raised,”[/color] she began, looking over the menu one more time. [color=E5D0FF]”I grew up in Phoenix. Arizona.”[/color] She looked up as the waitress approached and politely ordered. When she left, she looked back at Lynn and gave her a small grin.[color=E5D0FF]“What did you do to her? It looks like you burnt her stache’ off.”[/color]

Like a good overhand, that one slipped Lynn’s guard. She snorted into her water, wiping her face off with her sleeve. “She’s - “ Lynn paused. “Shit, I don’t actually remember her name. I’m really bad with names. I dunno, man. Restaurants are like - “ Lynn paused, putting more consideration into her description of restaurant work dynamics than she ever had into a meeting with a principal in high school. “Like...you’re either a douchebag or a bitch in a restaurant, right? And all the douchebags work in the back - that’s where I work - and all the bitchy people are upfront. I don’t really remember, honestly. They always blame all their problems on us, we blame everything on them, circle of life and all that shit.” Lynn sipped at her water again. “No, wait, I called her a breeding horse or something like that one time. I forget why. Yeah, that was it. Forget  that other stuff.” Lynn leaned back into the seat. “Anyway, what’s up?”

Eli tried to suppress her giggles in case the waitress overheard, but the breeding horse comment stuck a cord. She laughed. Her chest and back ached from exhaustion, but she laughed. It almost distracted her from her reason to be at the restaurant, but as Lynn made herself comfortable in the booth, Eli felt the momentary joy fade from her body. She gripped the edges of her hoodie under the table and absentmindedly played with a bit of loose string.

[color=E5D0FF]”Well. . . I want to thank you. For helping me. And Radvi.”[/color] She looked into Lynn’s eyes, her throat tight as she attempted to control her emotions. She didn’t want to become a sobbing mess in front of Lynn. Not again. [color=E5D0FF]“The doctors told me that if you hadn’t acted when you did, he would have bled out. I helped- a little bit, but what you did [i]really[/i] saved him.”[/color]

[color=E5D0FF]“[i]“Thank you, Lynn.”[/i][/color]

Lynn did not realize her mouth was open, or that her hair had simmered down to a warm red, the color of a fireplace that’s near the perfect temperature to sit and talk the night away by. She stared at Eli with equally red eyes, one leg pulled up to her chest at the booth and the other hanging a few inches off the ground. She had felt this way on the Promise one time before, and it was when he had brought her flowers. That was it, then - flowers in one hand and the twist in the other? [i]Where’s the favor, Arizona?[/i] Lynn wondered. She had to wonder, because if she didn’t she was thinking about how Eli looked like she’d been hit by a freight train, and she hadn’t been sleeping either, and why the fuck would she include that bit about saving Radvi if she was lying, because anyone on earth could tell you that Lynn saw saving a Promise security guard’s life as a very ambivalent outcome on the best of days. Longer than Lynn realized passed without her saying anything. “Don’t - “ she paused. What it would be? “Don’t thank me,” Lynn said back to her. “I - “ Lynn wanted to tell Eli the truth, but the truth was not particularly kind, and there was a part of her that didn’t get to speak very often over all the other parts. That part was pointing out no one else had invited Lynn out to lunch since then, and this was, well - “I didn’t really do it for any good reasons. But if - “ she stopped. Christ, if everyone she knew back home could see this. “Yeah.” Lynn looked away for a moment, offering Eli a second to compose herself if she needed it. [i]I have no idea what the fuck is happening here.[/i]

Eli stared at Lynn, unsure what to think of Lynn’s reaction. She’d never seen her look like this before. Was she ever this… this dim? Her usual fire was soft, and Eli wondered if the girl had never been thanked before in her life. Her hands tightened around the hem of her hoodie as she listened to her. She didn’t do it for good reasons? What did that even mean? She’d saved a man’s life. How was that anything but good?
 
Lynn looked away, and Eli sniffed as she swallowed back the tears that threatened to escape down her cheeks. She released her hoodie and sat back in the booth as well. Her own legs came up to sit criss crossed in the booth, and she slouched forwards so that she felt closer to Lynn. Both elbows rested on her knees, and her hands hung limply in her lap.

[color=E5D0FF]“I… know you don’t like the security officers. I don’t either, really. But, Radvi isn’t like them. He’s never done anything to harm anyone unless it was in defence of an innocent.”[/color] She bit her lip for a moment before continuing, her eyes glancing over the features of the table between them. [color=E5D0FF]“You may not have done it because you cared about him, but you still helped him. That was a good deed. I really cannot thank you enough.”[/color]

She felt the edges of her cheeks burn as she thought of another topic to mention. It was something that brought shame to her. Something she felt guilty of doing.

[color=E5D0FF] “You really put yourself at risk that night.”[/color] She began, glancing sheepishly up at Lynn before looking back at the stain on the table in front of her. [color=E5D0FF] “I’m sorry I didn’t do anything to help. You could have been hurt. Radvi was hurt. And I was just too… [i]scared[/i] to do anything.”[/color] She wrung her hands together below the table. She couldn’t understand why she was being so open with Lynn, but it felt good. This was something she could never talk to her friends about. Not even Maddy. They wouldn’t understand. Lynn had mentioned things to her that night. Slurred and confusing words, but they still lingered with Eli. She released a long breath to relieve the tension in her body. Her hands loosened as she did so, and she looked up at Lynn with a new feeling of relief.

[color=E5D0FF] “You were saying some… pretty dark things, before you put yourself in harms way. It’s not safe to do that. You’re probably the most capable of standing up against… [i]her[/i]- but we both saw what she’s capable of.”[/color] She pressed her lips together, hesitant to say more, but fuck it. It was something she wanted to say. [color=E5D0FF] “I just want you to know that I think it was pretty stupid of you. Everyone needs a backup. I might have failed you that night, but I want you to know that you can rely on me. I won’t be scared again. [i]I won’t.[/i]”[/color] She laid her hands flat on the table, feeling like she’d laid out all of her cards. [color=E5D0FF] “And you can talk to me, if you’re feeling troubled. Whatever happened in your past, it hurts, but it doesn’t matter up here. You have a chance to be a new person. A better person. It’s a fresh start, and I can help you with that.”[/color]

Eli was feeling a new sense of responsibility surge through her. Some maternal- no, not maternal. It was something like that, but not as urgent. She’d never had siblings before. Her father had new kids- normal kids, after he remarried, but she barely knew them. Maybe it felt like Lynn was someone she needed to look after, like a younger sibling. She didn’t need to worry about her constantly. She was aware that Lynn could handle herself. Eli didn’t feel obligated to protect her, but it felt like Lynn could use someone to quietly look out and be there for her. That was something Eli could do. Even if she was too weak or scared to protect her completely.

Lynn looked away.

Looking away, it is worth clarifying, is a [i]bitch move[/i]. It’s what a dog does when you whip the fight out of it or what a coward does when they get to the sad part in a Nicholas Sparks movie. 

Lynn turned and stared at the window for a moment. She had not realized it, but the knee she had pulled up to her chest was her right one, and through the frayed seams of her blue jeans the nasty scar was clearly visible. It looked as if it had at least a year to heal - and, seemingly, even more given Lynn’s gifts - but it looked not much better than as if she’d had her knee split open a week before.

There was too much noise in Lynn’s head. There always was. Dolls. Failing grades. The girls. Juvy. Christmas trees. [i]Him[/i] and the lizard both. Keaton. Gennedy. The bad dreams. 

Che.

Lynn scratched at her knee as she turned back to Eli. There was too much noise now. She didn’t know what to make of any of this. There were so few people who would joke with Lynn - it was why she took such a liking to the cooks in the back of the house. Even fewer told her when she was being a dumbass. Something Eli said had nudged open the little black box buried down deep in Lynn’s thoughts, the sort of thing you could pull out of the flaming wreck of her life and discern all that had led to this point with.

She hadn’t - if Arianna had…it didn’t really…

Lynn put the box away. She was forgetting what she came here for. There was only one thing that mattered. The concern, the tears, the - this was all a hustle. “What sort of things do you remember me saying?” Lynn asked, her voice a murmur. “You were pretty drunk too.” Lynn didn’t like this. All her clothes felt too tight on her, even though they hung off her frame in spades, and she felt naked, as if Eli had seen some part of her no one was supposed to see or slid into her own skin and felt the way her body worked. Part of her wanted to call Eli a pussy, or to leave, something, anything, because this was like twisting a wire tighter and tighter around Lynn’s chest until she couldn’t breathe. 

But nobody looked at Lynn with relief. 
Lynn knew what she was saying - what it really was. Telling somebody [i]you can rely on me[/i] was just a pretty, pretty lie. Beautiful, but a lie, at the end of the day. Lynn knew Keaton was loyal, but that loyalty went until there was a gun barrel to her head.

Lynn’s hand gripped her scarred knee. It kept her in the seat, her face still as dead iron, but her hair flickering with soft light.

[color=E5D0FF] “To be honest, I could barely understand what you were saying,”[/color] Eli said back. A part of her was worried that Lynn was mad at her, but a part of her was firm with her decision to speak about it. [color=E5D0FF] “You just… you sounded like you’ve done a lot of things that you regret. You mentioned a woman that wanted to hurt Archie, and you said that you didn’t mean to burn him.”[/color] She watched Lynn closely, feeling like their earlier moment of giggles was unreachable now. Had she gone too far? Would Lynn pull away this time? [color=E5D0FF] “I didn’t see it happen, and I didn’t know you very well back then, but I have a feeling that Archie shouldn’t have touched you in the first place. I mean, you were literally [i]steaming[/i] when you walked away. It was his mistake, not yours.”[/color]

[color=E5D0FF] “I don’t know if it’s my place to make judgements. Especially since I wasn’t there and I have no idea what happened. But it sounds like if the woman was going to hurt Archie you had a right to do whatever you did to her. I know I certainly would. I mean, the guy is a literal puppy.”[/color] She was too tired to think about how to phrase her words. She probably could have said all of this in a more poetic way, but her thoughts weren’t as coherent lately. She was tired of coating everything in sugar to make herself everyone’s best buddy.

Lynn stared at her. She wasn’t bullshitting her, which confused her more. Lynn knew hustlers. They asked for money by now, or they were checking to see which pocket you tucked your wallet in. If she’d waited until after the bill, then - Lynn rubbed at her head and looked back at her. She was livid, she wanted to burn this restaurant down, but she couldn’t explain why, or at who. Eli was….it just didn’t….Lynn didn’t get it, and Lynn didn’t like not getting things. She wanted to grab her by the collar and tell her not to fuck with her, to tell her what she heard, but that was dumb for more reasons than Lynn could name.

She didn’t know. Or at least Lynn let herself believe it. That felt good, too. It felt beautiful. “The thing with him - “ Lynn paused, the name like a acid-dipped brick on her tongue, “Archie. That was the first time you saw me.” It wasn’t so much a question as a statement, Lynn watching Eli. “And you think he was…” she was right, was the thing, but Lynn didn’t trust that, because people told you what was right and what you wanted to hear when they wanted something. “Why did he grab me from behind?” Lynn muttered. “He’s lucky he got off easier than Gar-” Lynn stopped herself. [i]You’re not even drunk this time, dipshit, hold it together.[/i] Her mind, she felt, needed a good thirty hours unconscious to get as sharp as she wanted it. Things were slipping. She didn’t want to talk about the woman that was going to - [i]her eyes bulging, magma seeping from the - [/i] hurt Archie. Not here. Not in a restaurant. “I - yeah. I don’t…” Lynn stopped, not sure of what to say. There was a lot and Lynn wouldn’t have known how to start on any single one of them. 

Lynn surreptitiously reached a hand down to her other thigh, and scorched a small mark on her jeans. A second letter, the faint smell of smoke reached her - just barely, not anything serious. If Eli had been fucking with her mind, would she have covered those bases? “I don’t really know what to say,” Lynn said, entirely truthfully.

 Eli’s eyes scoured Lynn’s face as she reacted to the comments. She wasn’t sure what was going on in Lynn’s head, but the physical reactions were enough to give away enough. Eli suddenly felt guilty for even bringing it up. She’d upset Lynn. She’d gone too far. Why couldn’t she have just kept her mouth shut? How was she going so wrong lately? Nothing Eli did ever since the breakout felt right. She had to backtrack a moment. Lynn didn’t need to be reminded of her guilt. It was cruel of Eli to point it out so clearly. Eli’s shoulders sagged, and she felt defeated. This time it was Eli that looked away, her hands coming together to pick at the edges of her sleeves.

[color=E5D0FF] “Sorry, I… I shouldn’t have brought it up.”[/color] She took a deep breath. [color=E5D0FF] “The reason I came up here, when I was younger, was my fault. I could have stayed home with my parents. I could have been happy. But I hurt- well, I didn’t physically hurt her- anyways, I messed up one of my classmates. For a while there, I felt so [i]guilty[/i] about it. And then I realized, I’d done it out of self-defense. They blamed [i]me[/i] for it, when it was her that should have gotten in trouble. By then I was already up here, but I learned not to be so harsh on myself or others like me. We’re all just trying to get by, one way or another.”[/color]

Her eyes finally lifted to look at Lynn. [color=E5D0FF] “I guess I just see a lot of myself in you. I don’t like seeing others in pain.”[/color] She wasn’t sure what to say after that, so she decided to let Lynn take her time to speak next.

[i]Self defense[/i] “What did she do?” Lynn asked, before any of the rest of her could catch up. “I - fuck, that’s not. Sorry,” Lynn said, an apology so genuine it caught her off-guard. “I - that was a dick move.”

The waitress brought by their food, and Lynn was for the first time in her life grateful to see The Fertilization Foaly. “That was…” Lynn hesitated, thinking that she was teetering towards that line, the one that when you cross it’s too late, because once you peel back enough people can just see straight inside. 

But the truth was that every single day since the night before she was arrested, Lynn had woken reasonably certain that one might be the day they killed her. And it was easier to peel back the wall when there were already mile-wide cracks in it. “That wasn’t cool to ask. I just - you look like you’re not sleeping. Not in a - you look good, I mean, it’s not like you’re ugly or anything.” [i]Fuck me, I hate all of this[/i]. Lynn stopped, gathering her thoughts. “Why do you...you’re the only person that didn’t.” Lynn stopped again, her food still steaming just as much as when it was brought out. “Okay so you don’t even know me, right, and you see Archie go after me, and, and, you assume he’s the dipshit. Not me. Not - and then, at the party, you come out. In the woods. I just.” Lynn looked up at her face. It was pretty, truly, past the sags under his eyes and the puffy features of bereavement. “What do you see of you in me?” Lynn asked, genuinely confused. “I just…” Lynn rubbed at her forehead. She was making an ass of herself. The steel crept back into her voice. Not at Eli, but at everything else. “I think you’re gonna get fucked that way,” Lynn said, looking back up at her. “Not...some people deserve it. Being harsh on them. You can’t go off into the woods after people.” She didn’t say it, but she knew the next two words were clear. [i]Not me.[/i] Lynn looked at her and thought she would see Lucy, but she saw Clarita, who had been shorter than Lynn for at least a month or two longer than the others, the sweetest of all of them. The only one Lynn could muster empathy for, when things had gone to hell. [i]She didn’t get it,[/i] Lynn thought. [i]She was just doing what Che told her to. [/i] “They’ll hurt you,” Lynn said.

Eli was fully prepared to answer the first question out of Lynn’s mouth, but she was caught off guard by the apology as well. She remained silent, listening to Lynn’s point of view come tumbling out of her. She glanced at the food on the table in front of her. It smelled great, but for some reason she barely had an appetite. [i]You need to eat. No matter how you feel.[/i] She reminded herself, and she picked up her fork to take a bite while she thought of how to answer.

[color=E5D0FF] “Look, I get it. I know the world isn’t as perfect as the staff up here make it out to be. I think this place is just as shit as being on Earth would be. The only difference is that the people up here are trying to make themselves better, while the people on Earth are just trying to survive. Whether or not we were forced to come here.”[/color] She took another bite of food, feeling energy flow back into her.

[color=E5D0FF] “I’m not trying to get you to pity me. And I don’t pity you. I know you’re strong, and you don’t need me. But it’s nice to have someone to rely on. When my ability appeared, it wasn’t as obvious as something like yours. The kids in my school knew I was different, but they didn’t know why. So, they liked to pick fights. One day I just felt tired of it. So I lashed out. Ever since, I’ve felt this need to fight back. I’ve gotten better about deciding when and who and where, so I don’t get in trouble for it. With Arianna-”[/color] She paused, her body tensing as she said the woman’s name. [color=E5D0FF]“With [i]her[/i], I felt defenseless. Like if she was the same bully from back in middle school, I wouldn’t have been able to stop her.”[/color] She was getting way off topic. This wasn’t supposed to be a pity party. [color=E5D0FF] “I don’t want anything from you, Lynn. I just think that after what we went through that night, we could both watch each other’s backs. I don’t want to let you or Radvi down again.”[/color]

Lynn hadn’t touched her food yet. She didn’t really feel hungry. She watched Eli. There was a part of Lynn that had been dormant, the kind of sleep most mistake for death, for quite some time. Since the last time she’d zipped up Clarita’s jacket and made sure she’d at least half-assedly attempted her homework for school. She wanted to tell Eli this was a mistake for her, that she was being a fool, that tying your fortunes to Cordelia Lynn Holmes was chaining yourself to a sinking ship, but she knew she couldn’t put into words the older girl would understand. “Yeah,” Lynn said, nodding. There was, somewhere in her, an ounce of ability that hadn’t been stretched thin between watching the police and noting their movements, between wondering if every bump in the night was the arrest for Salamandra or Arianna herself, between trying to pass classes she in no way could begin to comprehend, to keep an eye on Eli. [i]I cannot believe the one decent person on this fucking ship is the cop’s friend.[/i] Lynn smiled, thinking for the umpteenth time in the last month what those who knew her back on Earth would think of all this. 

There was a lot and there weren’t many words. Lynn started to eat slowly, thinking over everything the girl had said. There was a part of her that wanted to ask if Eli was, you know, maybe not doing anything the rest of the afternoon, or something, but Lynn hushed that part away.

Maybe five minutes had passed of forks on plates.

“Tell me that bitch doesn’t look like Hidalgo, though.” Lynn said, hoping for a laugh. Before she could get one, everything seemed to well back up - Eli's tears, and lying in the cafeteria closet with a knife in her leg, and seeing Archie's scalded hand, and Lynn wanted to say [i]I don't sleep either these days I know how you feel[/i] or find some way of saying [i] You're not a terrible person, terrible people are terrible because they go after people like you [/i] but none of those seemed to fit and like a spasm Lynn blurted -

"Look, if anyone ever fucks with you, come tell me."

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