[hider=Ruby Redford]
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Ruby Redford
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[u]Apparent Age[/u]: 25

[u]"IS"[/u]: Human

[u]Features[/u]: Female, 5'9", brown eyes, cropped brown hair, light brown skin.

[u]Role[/u]: Porter

[u]Description[/u]: Ruby takes pride in her work as a Porter, and dresses in a smart, professional uniform, with her hair neatly cropped, nails clipped, eyebrows plucked, and - most importantly - teeth brushed. You won't find just another smelly adventurer here; this girl can Dress to Impress. The oral hygiene doesn't seem to work so well on her language, though, as she's steadily sassing her way through a library of cusswords every time she goes out.

[u]Armaments[/u]:
[list]
[*]Porter Uniform: Resistant to shear, stain, fire, cold, and water. Grants +1 to Professionalism.
[*]Arcane Blaster: Magical flintlock pistol. When the flint strikes steel and sparks the magic circuit, it draws from the user's mana to fire a deadly bolt of energy. Can load and fire flares.
[*]Bag of Holding: Dimensional storage pack with infinite capacity. Stores everything listed below, in addition to client properties.
[*]Survival gear: rope, cooking pot, ladle, survival knife, matches, ferro rod (for sparking fire), compass, canteens, gill net (for fishing), charcoal water filters, a month's worth of pemmican, several changes of clothing, magic torches, first aid kits, 6 flares (used: 1)
[*]Crafting gear: tool box, sewing kit, chemistry supplies
[*]Hygiene kit: several bars of soap, toothbrushes, floss, tongue scraper, several tubes of toothpaste, tweezers, brushes, combs
[*]Office supplies: ledger, checkbook, notepad, sticky notes, box of pencils, eraser, sharpener, felt-tip pen
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[u]Teraterifficence[/u]:
[list]
[*][REDACTED]
[*]Crazy-prepared, if the above Armaments list didn't give it away.
[*]Alchemic Crafting: Can use the "essence" of monster drops to enhance items. Requires construction of a magic circle for transmutation.
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[u]Original World[/u]: An interplanetary empire has conquered the entire galaxy. Their fleets are nigh-invincible, and rebel forces are powerless to stop them.

And they're the good guys.

Upon expanding their reach to the galactic edge, the seven immortals on the empire's ruling body, the Immortal Council, set out amongst the stars to create new worlds for their people to inhabit. Planets that were once desolate grew life, and systems plagued with disaster saw peace. Each world took on a life of its own. Some developed a rich fantasy life, while others created breathtaking marvels of science. There was a place for everyone.

That is, until all hell broke loose on a certain backwater world named Aion...

[u]Backstory[/u]:
"You were adopted."

Just three words. Some think it's an insult, as if being pushed out of a body part is somehow superior. Some think it's an expression of love, from people who could have picked anyone they wanted and deliberately chose you.

I just munched on my cracker.

It wasn't exactly a revelation to 10-year-old me - I mean, when my dad stormed into the living room ten years prior and the first words out of his mouth were, "You went and bought [i]that[/i] little chicken-fried f*cknugget from the agency?" it wasn't hard to put the pieces together. I was a baby, not deaf. Ironically, that old potbellied fart became my role model when I grew up, because Holy Smuckeroli, the adventurers here are dumber than ducks on Sara Lee white bread. Fire-breathing dragon captured the princess? Bring a wooden sword to the battle! Kraken tearing up your ship on the open sea? Oh, a lightning spell will do nicely. Vampire Lord threatening the country? Kill it with blood magic! They collect harems of psychopaths, waltz into traps, spare bloodthirsty monsters- I'm surprised there's [i]anyone[/i] left in the Hero business to cuss at.

The sorts of people who think 101 Ways to Die is a guidebook are also the sorts of people you can make money on. If there's one thing every aspiring hero needs, it's a girl with a level head, plenty of Band-Aids, and [i]just[/i] enough romance to keep him puffing to Season 2. That's where I come in. For only 2 cents an hour and 3% of the total loot, the Redford Porter Service will handle all your adventuring needs. Lost in the Forgotten Woods? I got a full-color topographic map. Broke your Master Blade cutting grass? No worries, I can make you two more. Whatever [s]moronic[/s] puzzling predicament you find yourself in, I gotcha covered.

Swindle me, though, and I got a bullet with your name on it.
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