[u][b]Pineapple Pizza[/b][/u]

In a secluded seedy motel room in one of Mountain City's five star residences, Pineapple Pizza was bored. Well, as bored as one could be when discussing among distinguished CEOs of every pizza chain in America. 

" Enough." All heads turned towards him. " I brought all of you here to discuss the future of pizza and here all of you are talking about stocks, investors, yearly profits. Your simple minds can't comprehend the power of pizza."

He walked towards a window, the sunset casting indigo streaks along the open vistas of the alpine city. 

“ Gentlemen, pizza has changed. It’s no longer about cooking, taste or cuisine. It’s an endless series of proxy battles fought by delivery trucks and restaurant chains. Pizza - and it’s consumption of life- has become a well oiled machine. Pizza has changed. ID-tagged cooks use ID-tagged ingredients, ID-tagged ovens. Frozen pizzas enhance and regulate their recipes. Genetically modified pizzas. Pizza advertisements. Pizza commercials. Pizza restaurants. Everything is monitored and controlled by pizza. Pizza has changed. The age of consumption has become the age of obesity. All in the name of averting catastrophe from pizzas of mass destruction. And he who controls the pizza, controls history." 

"This city is the future, gentlemen." The Papa of Papa John's spread his arms out wide, looking over the city. " This city is my Pizza Hut." He then pointed both hands towards the entire ensemble of men and women, making finger-guns. " In the next five minutes, all of you will give me control over all the assets of your companies. Domino's. Little Caesar's. California Pizza Kitchen." 

"Or what?" Someone said. 

"Or this." Pineapple Pizza made his human skin-suit snap his fingers. A second later, red dots appeared on all the foreheads of every CEO currently in the room. 

"Today's a new beginning, gentlemen. A new age of Pizza warfare. So, how many of you are ready to go into the oven?"