[@Framing A Moose] She looks lovely! I love that her brother's name is Puck. 

-The dementor one I don't think works well. Muffled yelling from her parents about money problems I don't believe is a traumatic enough memory - try to dig deeper here. 
-For the custom broom, I think some description of how it compares to the current top of the line Nimbus models is needed. Is it just as fast? Is this broom rugged and designed for a beater? Any special enchantments on it?