[center][url=https://fontmeme.com/immunity-clairo-font/][img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/200127/d6b56be4084146a2add861309e5891ee.png[/img][/url]
[img]https://i.imgur.com/sODRQbZ.png[/img][/center]

[color=darkgray]It felt really weird to be back in this spot. 

It shouldn't have. This was essentially Shawna's designated parking spot. The one next to that palm tree that Keelan Walker smashed his moped into during Shawna's freshman year. The imprint of his side mirror was still visible in the bark. At least Shawna thought she could see it. 

There weren't a lot of things Shawna could see anymore. Since her return from her New York excursion with Sunshine, it was tough to figure out what exactly she was seeing in her immediate future. Chris and Ariel weren't able to help much either. She spent much of January in a Carter-fueled haze, trying to get her brain to settle down from all the stuff that had happened over the previous month. Between Kellie's exodus and Sunshine's New Year's kiss, things had suddenly shifted in a way the former honors student couldn't have seen coming. 

But it was the last conversation in New York that was playing on her mind as she sat in her Audi, unsure of how willing she was to go back into school to begin the long march to graduation. It was a spur of the moment decision, one that was only made possible by some fortuitous timing on travel schedules and a rare willingness to actually reach out to someone for help as opposed to trying to deal with everything herself. It wasn't Shawna's first choice, but as far as people go, she could have done a lot worse...

[center][h2][color=goldenrod]11 DAYS EARLIER...[/color][/h2][/center]

Bergen Bagels seemed like the last place to be having this kind of talk. The establishment was busy, with New Yorkers filtering in and out, giving the obvious out-of-towner a glare for taking up two precious stools and forcing them to go back out into the January weather, sheltering their precious sandwiches from the frigid wind. But her everything bagel with vegetable cream cheese was just as important. Plus, this small slice of property Shawna had carved out for herself was the staging ground for a vital conversation.

Sunshine was very understanding. How could she not be? Given how long it had been since Shawna was able to talk to any member of her family without seconds of delay between video calls, Sunshine was willing to begin taking care of the preparations for departure herself. She was a good friend like that... possibly more than a friend... dare she say... best friend? It was Sunshine's to lose at this point. Shawna only had one other friend who could kiss like Sunshine could.

And that's why she made the call. The recipient wasn't in the city. The recipient was in Beacon Falls, Connecticut, visiting her husband's family over the holidays while avoiding all the crowds making their way through New York during the festive season. Given she was nine when the Josis moved to Florida, it wasn't surprising that she still preferred small-town charm over the big city. However, she promised she would be back after New Year's to prepare for the next semester at Columbia. 

Shawna kept watching the door to see if the woman was still as good as her word. Shawna had arrived a little early to make sure she could get a spot and get herself one of those famous bagels. But it was 12:30. Usually her big sister kept to a rigid schedule. The fact that she wasn't in the designated spot on time was a little shocking. Maybe it was a sign that Shawna wasn't the only one coming undone a bit?

Just before the clock above the counter was set to hit 12:31, the bell above the door rang. Lia Ellis had cut it close, but she was right on time as always. The blonde woman unwrapped the scarf from around her face and took off her woolen cap, shaking her hair loose while her bangs remained perfectly in place. She gave a quick wave to her sister as she pointed towards the counter, golden mittens blunting the effectiveness of the gesture as Shawna nodded and took a sip of her french vanilla cappuccino. 

It would be a couple minutes for the elder Josi to get some food herself. That gave Shawna a bit of time to think about just exactly how she was going to handle this. [i][color=E81B00]OK. So how the fuck do I lead into all this shit? 'Hey Lia, just so you know, I'm not going to university and I'm a lesbian?' Fuck that can't be it. Why the fuck didn't Netflix have an episode of the Office or something dealing with this? C'mon Shawna. You were on the debate team. That shit's gotta be useful in this situation... Fuck. I don't even know...[/color][/i]

[color=goldenrod]"Shawn! Little Sis!"[/color] The sudden hug snapped Shawna out of her self-induced stupor. Lia was very affectionate when she wanted to be, and usually it was reserved for family. Still, this was a strong effort. [color=goldenrod]"I am so happy you're here! This is such a wonderful surprise! I can't believe you came up to New York! In January! I know you hate the cold! But I'm blabbering! Let me get my order and then we can really catch up!"[/color] With that, Lia released her hold on Shawna and left to stand by the counter in wait for her food and drink.

Shawna shook her head a little bit to recover from the sudden lovefest. It was nice to know Lia was still affectionate as ever. Even after the past summer of disappointment. Despite the age difference, Shawna still considered Lia her strongest link in her immediate family. When she was younger, Lia was the one who kept her ahead of the curve with her advanced tutoring. For someone who was on a rigid schedule throughout grade school, Lia was willing to spend a lot of free time with her little sister. Still, the change in mood when Lia was accepted into Princeton was almost like a shackle had been removed. When she returned home, there was a noticeable bounce in her step. Maybe that was Ryan's doing. Who knew? Whatever happened, Lia became even more open with her affections and in all honesty, it was something Shawna missed with her spending all her time in the Big Apple area now.

Lia grabbed her order, a cinnamon raisin bagel with apple cinnamon cream cheese and a coffee and grabbed the open stool that Shawna had jealously guarded like a dragon with a horde. [color=goldenrod]"I'm glad you were able to find this place all right. These are the best bagels in Brooklyn, I can guarantee it!"[/color]

Shawna nodded as she swallowed another bite. [color=E81B00]"You know this city well, Lia. I'm not surprised. You were always good at finding out stuff like that."[/color]

The elder Josi gave a wink at she chewed at her own meal. [color=goldenrod]"When have I steered you wrong?"[/color]

The younger Josi gave her a stare. [color=E81B00]"Um, that time when you dyed my hair jet black when you wanted to see how it would look on someone else first?"[/color]

Lia held up a finger. [color=goldenrod]"And that experiment yielded vital results! I learned black is not a good color on any of us! So, I did it for you, Shawn."[/color]

That earned an eye roll from Shawna. [color=E81B00]"Whatever, sis. Pretty sure that's why my hair is still dark. Anyway, I'm just happy to see you in person for a change."[/color]

[color=goldenrod]"I know! I'm happy to see you!"[/color] Lia confirmed. [color=goldenrod]"I mean, I'm sorry I left you alone for the holidays, but with Mom and Dad gone and Nick focusing on his hockey, I thought it would be better if I went with Ryan to his family thing. And I'm sure that must have been terrible."[/color]

Shawna waved her sister off. [color=E81B00]"It's all right. I mean, I managed, right? Clearly I did all right if I ended up here."[/color]

[color=goldenrod]"Yeah, with your new friend, right? Sunshine? What a lovely name! I'm sorry she couldn't join us here! We will have to try and get something together another time! Maybe when the weather is better!"[/color]

[color=E81B00]"Or you could just come back to Florida. I'm sure Ryan could survive at least one week in the Sunshine State if he tried.[/color]

Lia nodded. [color=goldenrod]"I know. I'm going to force him to deal with his issues with the heat and he'll come visit."[/color] She sipped casually at her coffee. [color=goldenrod]"Anyway, I'm boring. I want to hear about you! Are you all right? I know it's gotta be lonely down there by yourself. Plus the whole Pre-Calc fiasco, it has to have been rough."[/color]

[color=E81B00]"Like you wouldn't believe,"[/color] Shawna confirmed. [color=E81B00]"Look, don't be shocked if I'm not on the honor roll like you and Nick this year. I'm not sure how much more I want to do with school."[/color]

That statement made Lia nearly spit out the chunk of bagel she had in her mouth. She kept her composure though and managed to swallow it. [color=goldenrod]"Shawna, you can't be serious. Why would you say such a thing? You're smart enough to do great things! You need to continue!"[/color]

[color=E81B00]"But I don't want to!"[/color] Shawna exclaimed. [color=E81B00]"I'm so sick of it, Lia! I am just so sick of that life! I can't keep doing it anymore. I'm not doing it anymore, and I haven't been doing it. I mean, am I gonna pass? Sure. The courses aren't brutal enough I can't do that. But I'm not doing it anymore. I'm not killing myself, and making myself miserable just to have nothing make sense. I'm so done. I've been done since the summer, and I'm so much happier for it. I've been invited to parties and stuff. I feel happier, I'm just not about that process anymore."[/color]

The look on Lia's face changed from shocked to stern. [color=goldenrod]"Shawna, that is the biggest crock of shit I have ever heard."[/color] When the usually proper Lia started swearing, that's when Shawna knew that rant was a bad idea. [color=goldenrod]"So you had a bad test! Big fucking deal! That's no reason to just give up on everything! That means you have to actually start trying! I know you've had it relatively easy with me and Nick blazing a trail, but you have to be able to do something for yourself! You have to give yourself that push sometimes! Hearing you sound like you've just given up on everything, that's fucking unacceptable!"[/color] Lia pounded the table. It had been a while since Shawna had seen her older sister this worked up. [color=goldenrod]"Shawn, you know if you're struggling with things, I'm always there, right? I have my phone. I might be busy with my dissertation, but I will still make time for you! You just have to text me! I don't want you to feel like you're alone, OK? I'm so sorry! I promise I will be there for you! Just... just don't give up for me...OK?"[/color] Lia punctuated this with a hug, this one far tighter than the initial one she offered.

Meanwhile, Shawna just felt bad. [i][color=E81B00]How the hell did Lia end up being the one apologizing? Holy shit. What is happening? ...I guess I forgot how much she actually gave a shit. How much anyone in my stupid family gave a shit. Fucking... fuck.[/color][/i] She hugged her sister back. [color=E81B00]"Lia, I'm not that person anymore... but... I'll... I'll try, OK? I will try. I can't promise success. But I will try."[/color]

[color=goldenrod]"That's all I can ask you to do, little sis,"[/color] Lia affirmed. [color=goldenrod]"And if that's not enough for Mom and Dad, just remember, I will be in your corner. Always. No matter what. Even if you end up decked out in tattoos and working as a writer or something."[/color]

Shawna was suddenly very happy that the wolf on her back had finished healing up. No flinching meant no giveaway. [color=E81B00]"I appreciate that, Lia. You can stop crushing my sternum now."[/color]

[color=goldenrod]"Sorry,"[/color] Lia apologized as she released Shawna and returned to her own stool. [color=goldenrod]"Anyway, were the parties at least good? Did you manage to meet someone there?"[/color]

Shawna looked back down at her own food. [color=E81B00]"Yeah, they are. I think I know how you felt when you got to Princeton. And I've met some people. Some good people..."[/color]

[color=goldenrod]"So I can start planning for your wedding soon now?"[/color]

[color=E81B00]"What? No! God, no! Not that your wedding wasn't great,"[/color] Shawna quickly corrected. It was pretty fun, even if Shawna wasn't allowed to enjoy the same open bar access that the other patrons did. Lia had good taste in music, even if Ryan was corny as hell. [color=E81B00]"I'm just... definitely not there yet..."[/color] Shawna took in a huge breath. [color=E81B00]"Especially since it's pretty unlikely Mom and Dad will foot the bill for it."[/color]

Lia looked confused. [color=goldenrod]"Why wouldn't they pay for it?"[/color] She mock gasped. [color=goldenrod]"You didn't hook up with some boy from Minnesota, did you?!?"[/color]

Shawna laughed and shook her head. [color=E81B00]"Hell no. I think Minnesotans would melt in Florida. Even worse than Ryan. But..."[/color] She paused. This was gonna be it. [color=E81B00]"It's probably not gonna be a guy. Pretty sure I'm a lesbian."[/color]

Lia looked at her sister, the confusion slowly lifting from her face. [color=goldenrod]"Huh,"[/color] was all she got out. [color=goldenrod]"Are you sure?"[/color]

[color=E81B00]"Well, I had sex with another woman, so yeah. I'm pretty sure at this point.[/color]

Lia turned her gaze away from her sister for a second, towards her bagel, then back at Shawna. [color=goldenrod]"That does sound pretty definitive. Well, I'm happy for you, sis."[/color]

It was Shawna's turn to look confused. [color=E81B00]"That's it?[/color]

[color=goldenrod]"Do you want me to give you a medal or something? Sis, I'm happy you figured that out about yourself, and I'm happy that you trust me enough to tell me that! Even if you went a little graphic on it. Still, that doesn't change anything. You're still Shawna. Who you love is about you, and as long as the woman you love isn't a complete asshole, then I support it wholeheartedly."[/color]

Shawna breathed a huge sigh of relief. [color=E81B00]"That means a lot to hear you say that, Lia. Seriously. Especially since I really don't know how Mom and Dad will take it. Pretty sure they voted Trump, even if they don't want to admit it."[/color]

Lia put her hand on Shawna's. [color=goldenrod]"It doesn't matter. They can't control you. You're 18, you are your own woman now. You can choose for yourself what you want in life, although I strongly recommend at least getting A degree from a university, but they can't tell you who to love. That's for you and you alone. And like I said, I support you. No matter what."[/color]

The emotions were too much for Shawna. It was Lia's turn to get enveloped in a hug as Shawna struggled to keep herself from crying in the middle of that New York deli. [color=E81B00]"Lia... Thank you. I needed this. More than anything right now."[/color]

[color=goldenrod]"Of course, Shawn. I'll always have your back."[/color] Lia continued to hug, given there was no chance Shawna was gonna collapse a lung with her embrace. [color=goldenrod]"So, who is this girl? Is she cute? Can I meet her?"[/color]

Shawna released Lia from her grasp and wiped a tear from her eye. [color=E81B00]"No, and you probably won't ever meet her. We... we broke up before Christmas because she had to move."[/color]

[color=goldenrod]"I'm sorry to hear that,"[/color] Lia said, trying to console what couldn't be consoled. [color=goldenrod]"But I'm sure there is someone else just waiting to get their hands on you... or in you..."[/color]

[color=E81B00]"Holy fuck, Lia! Phrasing!"[/color] Shawna blurted, laughing a bit. This was the side of Lia that was never there in high school, but was still shocking when she busted it out now. [color=E81B00]"There may be someone else, actually. I dunno. We'll have to see."[/color]

[color=goldenrod]"Well, keep me posted,"[/color] Lia ordered. [color=goldenrod]"Now, what else is going on in the land of Sunshine and non-howling winds?"[/color]

With that, the awkward parts of the conversation were completed and the two sisters could go back to eating their bagels, Shawna with a much more relaxed mind knowing that despite everything, she still had the most important family member in her corner.

[center][h2][color=goldenrod]BACK TO PRESENT DAY...[/color][/h2][/center]

Shawna stared at King's Academy for another moment and breathed a heavy sigh. [i][color=E81B00]All right. You are gonna do this. Not just for you. There are people who want you to do this for you too. So do it for them.[/color][/i] The senior grabbed her bag and stepped out of the car, clicking the lock button. She looked around to make sure there were no crazy drivers tearing through the lot. Even if April was pregnant now, there were still idiots that could follow her lead. Confident she wouldn't be sideswiped, she made her way towards the school.[/color]