SUBSCRIBER COUNT: 24 "Hey guys, it's @Sarasylph here with my - Siri play drumroll.mp3 - long awaited AMA! It's been two weeks since I started asking for questions and in that period I got a new record of [I]four[/I] questions! But before I get into that I wanted to say a sad goodbye to Jiffles and Manix630 who unsubscribed last week, and you know, if you're still watching know that I'll do better to try and win back your hearts! And also a big welcome to new subscriber ContentIDBot! Great to have you with us!" @Sarasylph couldn't afford an advanced multi-angle automated megacamera array like some of her interdimensional colleagues so her show was done in the more traditional shaky hand-held cell phone camera way. She had had the idea to do celtic spiral-circle cybertattoos before this show but, lacking the budget for the fancy versions, had opted to draw them directly onto her face with a sharpie. She'd realized very quickly that wasn't working out and had tried to cover the black lines on her cheek with a heavy layer of foundation and instead realized her ambition of being a beautiful druidess by mixing some glitter into her green eye shadow. In the background there was some kind of high tech facility. Screens displayed the Perseus logo in black and yellow. "So, question one, from ContentIDBot - wow, getting off to a really good start! And it's a long one too! Question one: [I]Your account has been flagged for using copyrighted music -[/I]," @Sarasylph abruptly stopped smiling, stopped talking, and scrolled down as hard as she could. "Sorry, uh, sorry," she mumbled, "Uh. Um. Q-question two? Question two." From off camera, someone yelled "Hey you're not supposed to be here!" @Sarasylph made a gesture that was not at all caught by the camera and the chimes of hardlight were swiftly followed by a yelp, a crash, and a thud. "Question two," said @Sarasylph, trying to get her composure back. "JamesHard asks, 'Are you the pirate one?' And, haha, the answer to that is no -" SUBSCRIBER COUNT: 23 "Oh, um, sorry to see you go... um... but I think that question kind of touches on a bigger topic. You know? And that is, um, how does it feel to be in a world where there are like twenty alternate yous, all of whom are successful and famous? Oh, hold on, I'll remember to flip the vision this time, hold on," After a moment of concerned expressions, she manages to flip the cell phone's camera. Six security guards and a fully armed main battle TAG are advancing towards her, assault weaponry aimed. But this is a cell phone camera and it has automatic zoom and focus features, and those are optimized for taking photographs of faces. Unfortunately, with all but one of the guards wearing a balaclava, the system only identifies one human in the photograph and automatically starts zooming and focusing on him. His expression goes from professional determination to shock, to horror, and then to a blurred distortion as he's drowned out in a blast of pixelated green light. Then the camera flips around back to @Sarasylph. "The Woad Wind technique! I practiced it for weeks! A-anyway, um, so I think it's encouraging that all the other Saras made it big, you know? I mean, I'd be a superhero no matter what, but there's a lot of inspiration in seeing alternate versions of myself." She passes by the charred wreckage of the TAG, three meters of advanced combat robot reduced to slag in the out-of-focus background. "And they're all really sexy, you know? Like... really, dominantly, grabbing-ly sexy. Um. And apparently that's what the audience wants! So look out, world! Ladies! E-Errant! It's not going to be as easy to ignore me in the future! Pow!" There was an off camera explosion, and @Sarasylph walked through the wreckage of a burned out door. She turned to the left and there was a glimpse of something enormous and out of focus back behind her shoulder. "Question three comes from RacoonMart! She asks, 'Hey @Sarasylph, love the show -' awwwwww! 'and congratulations on hitting twenty five subscribers!' awwww... 'Have you ever considered trying out for Aristeia!? I think you might have the moves and you'd benefit a lot from the support staff and camera crew. Good luck with hitting thirty!' Thanks, RacoonMart! And, you know... wow, um, professional sports?" The camera finally focuses over her shoulder. She's in some kind of launch tube - and that looks like a space ship behind her. It's a massive thing, layers of booster rockets, a huge and elaborately spiked satellite attachment at the top. "T-that's a lot of pressure. But I'm glad you think I could make it! I've had a crush on Parvati since forever and... no. That's not who I am, though. I know I could inspire a lot of people from there but I'm a [I]superhero[/I]. I'm here to protect people. The fame is, you know, n-nice... but it has to come second." She lets out a heavy sigh. It looked like saying that took a lot out of her. She then steels herself, flips the camera so that it's facing a sealed steel door, and blasts through it. On the other side is Turbo Knight. Two. There is a flash of lasers, then a thud and darkness as the camera hits the floor. "Who the hell is this?" snapped Victoria's voice, distorted by her armour's voice filter. "Sara-who? It doesn't matter, I don't care," there's another flurry of sound and footsteps. "Back off! I've lost three subscribers this week and I'm feeling pretty upset about it!" There was a deafening explosion, so intense that it flipped the phone over to give it a view of the ceiling instead. "See, Perseus? This is exactly what I'm talking about," said Victoria over the sound of soft choking. "Nobody respects me. I've essentially taken over the entire world and [I]nobodies[/I] keep thinking they have the right to break into my workplace and challenge me to single combat! It's not enough to just have power if nobody knows I have it!!" A dark shape rapidly passed overhead - and the phone's automatic camera dutifully picked out @Sarasylph's face from it as she flew past. "I can't believe the old bastard was right," said Victoria. "People... remember Turbo Knight. They think of [I]me[/I] as Turbo Knight. Even now! Their fucking brains can't comprehend how much more I am! So I need to reach them on their level. I need to do some big, stupid, comic book scheme and brutalize everyone who comes to stop me so that they [b]realize[/b] that not only am I better at being a [I]person[/I] than grandpa but I'm also better at being a supervillain than him." SUBSCRIBER COUNT: 24 "It doesn't matter how much better you are than him..." said a muffled voice off camera. "Because you'll never be better than me!" With the camera on the ground, facing up, it had that rarest of things: an absolutely perfect in-focus view of @Sarasylph's new Woad Wind technique. Intricate blasts of hardlight scorched overhead, curved and twisting and impenetrable. It was one of the most intensely complex battle-patterns ever put to camera, a true act of genius and total mastery of the form. There were crashes and explosions, and then a howling siren started. SUBSCRIBER COUNT: 25 Then, a scrabble, and @Sarasylph's face was back on camera. "H-hey! Um, sorry about that. I..." she took a deep breath. "So, question four, from Ripperdactyl: 'are you the pirate one?'." Her face changed and her voice hardened. "No! I'm not! I'm @Sarasylph! And if you want to unsubscribe then that's fine but I'll really miss you and won't stop working to improve the show!" She waited. SUBSCRIBER COUNT: 25 "Good!" she said. "That's settled then! Stay tuned! There is a crossover episode coming up! Because there's like seven hundred guards coming at me and I'll need to get m-my team together to help me destroy this doom satellite!" STAY TUNED FOR ISSUE 4: THE FINAL SHOWDOWN