[quote=@Tatterdemalion]
<Snipped quote by TheAmishPirate>

Based on our conversation just now, I’m going to hang my next action and let you tweak what you will here first, and (with your permission) I’ll wait a post or two to inflict that Condition properly?
[/quote]

That's fine by me. I've made a few edits to make the action a bit clearer, and I've also changed my mind on the Shut Someone Down roll; Elodie is no longer Insensitive, but she's bungled her entrance so badly that she's lost a String on Timmy.