It has hard sleeping; various different scenarios ran through her mind throughout the night and most of them ended up with her death. Only once she had woken in the night with a start, gasping for air as she clutched her chest. The soft pounding of her head as she felt the headache forming, she was completely in turmoil with herself. Part of her wanted to cancel it all, another part of her just wished she would disappear, and it would all end. After the bad dreams she had managed to settle once more, getting a few hours of sleep before the morning arrived. 

Thankfully when she had woken Cas was not around, as much as she’d have loved to see him it was best not. She didn’t want to lose herself once more as last night had gotten her quite hot under the collar and it was far to soon, well. It shouldn’t happen regardless as she did have a boyfriend still. Although she wasn’t entirely sure on that as her and Ethan hadn’t exactly spoken about it, she was sure that when she was back home memories would return and help her along the way. However hurting Cas was still playing on her mind, she still didn’t really want to hurt him. 

The day was spent moping around her room, her mind flitting from the enjoyable night to what could happen if everything went wrong. She had taken some time to read in hopes it would distract her, however that was not the case. The book was more of something she could fiddle with as she thought back on the dreams, his father and how scary he had been. Caspain and how he had ordered the death of two innocent people. Even though it felt like time hadn’t passed Iris had noted it was evening, but she didn’t feel like dinner, there was an unease in her stomach. An unrest to her as she watched the time go by. 

[color=f49ac2][i]Maybe he will break his word, maybe we won’t go, and I can worry about this all another day, right? That could be an option?[/i][/color] Thinking to herself as she sat on the sofa in her room, it was so comfortable staying here and as much as she enjoyed it, she knew she should be here. [color=f49ac2][i]I…[/i][/color] Cringing to herself as she looked at the table wondering if maybe she should write some sort of confession. [color=f49ac2][i]Should I write something addressed to the King? Or is that suicide? [/i][/color]

Letting out a shaky sigh she threw the book to the floor shaking her head, fingers clasped at it feeling the headache return from last night. Iris had not gotten much rest; her mind had stayed active and kept her up playing out what could happen and now she was suffering for it. [color=f49ac2][i]Cas won’t break his word; he is a man of honour and he keeps to that. I’m the villain here, I’m the bad guy about to ruin his life and break his trust.[/i][/color] Without realising she felt the tears leave her eyes and she couldn’t help but curse under her breath as she looked at the book thrown to the floor, [color=f49ac2]“The only thing I can vow to do is make sure he doesn’t get hurt physically.”[/color] Mumbling to herself as she hugged her knees bringing them up on the sofa still debating on if she should try to eat something. [color=f49ac2]“What’s the point? It will be a waste of food.”[/color]