Lawrence cackled. He probably should have felt bad for scaring the hell out of a small child, but he he didn't. Did that make him a bad person? Maybe a little. He paused when a mail truck stopped at his driveway. 

"Ooh, back inside! I got a package delivery." He shoved her back in the door and closed it. "This guy is the douchebag who delivered a bent door to me last month. How do you [i]bend[/i] a [i]door[/i]?! Scare the shit out him!" 

The doorbell rang, and Lawrence opened it. 

"Package for....Bettle...goose?" The mailman looked up at him.