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[b][i]All The News That We Can Print[/i][/b]


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[b][u]CHAPTER I:[/u]  [color=39b54a]Green Thumb[/color][/b]

[hider=HERO Takes Victory Over Walking Seeds, But At What Cost?]
[u]𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑 𝟸0𝟹𝟹: 𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙾 𝚃𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚅𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚆𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚆𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚜, 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝙰𝚝 𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙲𝚘𝚜𝚝?[/u]
After a long, city-wide battle that rampaged on for an entire day and had several parts of the town evacuated, HERO finally managed to contain the massive Ambleweed invasion that swept through Castleburg. However, it wasn't without its costs. Infrastructural damages are in the billions, with about $7.6 billion dollars worth of damage done in the course of the city-wide defense.

The city was flooded by rampaging Ambleweeds created by the villain Greenhouse. The Ambleweeds, mutated plants that are both able to walk and devour humans, flooded the streets of the city until HERO was able to repel them. However, there were several shortcomings to their citywide defense. Massive infrastructural damage was caused by the heroes, with several entire apartment buildings collapsed due to their reckless abandon. Storefronts were destroyed, streets were torn up, and a whole Nordstrom store was set ablaze in the chaotic fighting. 

This is not an isolated incident. Castleburg's local HERO division, responsible for protecting the US's largest city from supervillainy and crimes beyond our comprehension, has also been responsible for causing a lot of mayhem and [i]damage[/i] beyond our comprehension. Joe Draper, the owner of Draper Hardware and Tools, is a victim not of villains or robbers, but of Castleburg's heroes. According to Draper, he was just "minding his business" when "some vandalous hero" ran into the store and stole one of his premium axes. "The hero just barges in and tells me, 'I'm gonna need this.' I tried to tell him how important that axe was, how he can't be going and doing this, and he just says that he'll bring it back and runs off." Draper's storefront was later destroyed by an Ambleweed that was launched astray in the chaos. Still, Draper insists that "it's not the plant's fault, it's those f***ing heroes!"

ICOSA, the International Council on Superhuman Affairs, insists that this would be final straw for HERO's rampant behaviour. Melissa Morton, one of the Northeastern United States' ICOSA supervisors, said in a statement yesterday that ICOSA would be "further investigating and supervising HERO" in order to "prevent any more needless damage." She said that ICOSA was "firmly committed to protecting the general welfare, safety, and property of every citizen across the globe" and that they would be making sure that the rampant damages in Castleburg would "never happen again." 

HERO Director Hugo Powers declined to comment on these matters. 
[/hider]

[hider=Gossip Column: SpaceBird Affair?]
[u]𝙶𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚙 𝙲𝚘𝚕𝚞𝚖𝚗: 𝚂𝚙𝚊𝚌𝚎𝙱𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝙰𝚏𝚏𝚊𝚒𝚛?[/u]

Tumblr users everywhere are freaking out after Spacewalker (Thomas Rees) was spotted carrying fellow hero Firebird (Blake von Brandt) away from the scene of a large fight in a princess-style hold. Many internet users are once again intensely shipping the two together after this potential show of intimacy between the two. Both heroes have been working together for a long time, having joined HERO 4 years ago, and have been seen working together on an uncountable number of occasions since they joined the organization. Many online followers of the heroes have inferred that their closeness will soon blossom into a romantic relationship, and have been eagerly jumping upon any possible connection that the two have had as a sign of romance.

After the photo was taken by a bystander and uploaded, the results were immediate as #SpaceBird became trending on Tweeter in Castleburg and Tumblr hero nerds began to once again proclaim that the two have started a relationship, and aggressively attacked anybody that disagreed with their OTP. Supporters of SpaceBird cite their relationship compatibility, intrapersonal closeness, and tight connection in their hero work as potential reasons for a romantic relationship, while deniers cite the fact that neither of the two heroes are gay and that one of them is [i]literally[/i] dating another hero as very clear and obvious evidence why they would not end up together, and why their relationship is destined to be that of friends. Despite this, Tumblr SpaceBird supporters continue to voice their opinions loudly on the Internet.

Hero relationships are often the talk of the town in Castleburg, and the announcement of a romantic relationship can be a way to instantly boost a hero's celebrity status. Famous hero Captain Fireworks' 10-day relationship with New Orleans TEXAS superheroine Lady Marmalade caused both of them to briefly jump to the #1 trending superheroes in their respective regions. Despite this, the head of Spacewalker's fan club, Emilia Vance, has insisted that Spacewalker is "100% only friends with Blake" and that he is "still single," though she did request for him to "call me if you want to change that." [/hider]

[b][u]CHAPTER II:[/u]  [color=004b80]On the Waterfront[/color][/b]

[hider=Gugliano Mafia Family Comes To A Sudden End]
[u]𝙰𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚕 𝟸0𝟹𝟹: 𝙶𝚞𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚊𝚗𝚘 𝙼𝚊𝚏𝚒𝚊 𝙵𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚃𝚘 𝙰 𝚂𝚞𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝙴𝚗𝚍 𝙳𝚞𝚎 𝚃𝚘 𝙷.𝙴.𝚁.𝙾. 𝚂𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙾𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗[/u]

Just two weeks after the massive Ambleweed invasion that caused tons of damage to the city's infrastructure, another sweeping change has rocked Castleburg's lower side as the Gugliano mafia family comes to a sudden defeat. A group of undercover HERO operatives managed to take down the entirety of the organization in one fell operation, taking out the indomitable Vinnie Gugliano and incapacitating much of their organization. 

The Gugliano family has been a presence in Watervale, having been started under Sicilian immigrant Luciano "Wiseman" Gugliano and expanded further under Gianluigi "Five Fingers" Gugliano. Vinnie Gugliano, the grandson of Luciano and a veteran, was the third godfather of the mafia and was determined to make his mob family the strongest of all. Before Vinnie "the Veteran" took the reigns, the Guglianos were the third strongest family behind the warring Petruchio family and Colombo family. Vinnie organized an ambush on the Colombo family and then single-handedly took out all the Petruchios. In the span of one week, the Guglianos went from a relatively small group of criminals to the strongest criminal enterprise in all of Watervale. They remained that way until one week ago, when a small HERO taskforce was succesfully able to expose the Guglianos for their significant crimes and uproot the entire organization. 

A group of heroes, including Spacewalker, Firebird, Quake, Tempest, and several other less popular members of HERO, were succesfully able to infiltrate and then take out the organization, culminating in a massive brawl in the Gugliano family compound that resulted in the deaths of a large number of Gugliano mobsters, along with the mysterious death of Vinnie Gugliano himself, who died of an allergic reaction in the midst of the fighting.

"This is a major turning point for Watervale," says City Council member and Watervale representative Maria Fuentes, who has served the city council for the past 20 years. "The people of Watervale have been fighting against the tyranny of the mafia for decades now, and at long last, their efforts have been rewarded." Fuentes wrote a personal thank-you letter to every hero involved in the action and called them "Watervale's brightest stars." 

Not all people in the city are as happy as Councilor Fuentes is, though. Castleburg Assistant District Attorney Charles McClain issued a statement yesterday criticized the operation's management as "stupid and inefficient" and said that it "had zero planning and zero respect for the law." He said that it would be "impossible to find convictions with the brash, inefficient manner that the operation was conducted" and that the heroes involved with the massive bust "are actually the villains here." Mr. McClain is one of several other prominent members of the Castleburg elite that have issued a condemnation of the heroes, which includes CBPD Police Commissioner Paul Krapfen, Republican challenger for mayor George Waters, and famous HERO Seraph, who said that the heroes are receiving "far too much credit for their actions, which were reckless, irresponsible, and will have lasting impacts on this city that are certainly not positive."

Director Hugo Powers declined to comment. 
[/hider]

[hider="The Violinist of Violence" Review]
[u]𝙰𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚕 𝟸0𝟹𝟹: "𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚅𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚅𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎" 𝚁𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠: 𝙰 𝚂𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙽𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚕 𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝙰 𝚂𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙼𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚊𝚐𝚎[/u]

Today, the Castleburg Times reviews renowned author Michael Henry's newest book [u]"The Violonist of Violence: The New Criminal Legacy of the Donnelly Family."[/u] The book details the history of Patrick "Maestro" Donnelly's extensive crimes and gives a detailed argument as to why his daughter, Patricia Donnelly, is destined to be a menace to society. 

Henry, who followed Maestro's crimes across the country and has extensively written on him, claims that Maestro's "life goal" was to have a daughter that would "one day surpass him in evil." Henry cites diary entries believed to have originated from Donnelly, which detail a massive plot that culminates in world domination and death to all that do not worship him as a God.

"When you look at these diary entries that we've managed to find, it paints a very clear picture," Henry said in an exclusive Times interview. "He wanted his own flesh and blood to infiltrate HERO and destroy it from the inside. He even said in these diary entries that eh would keep having children until one of them could spread painless death from person to person. I mean, you can see that all of these things clearly apply to Patricia Donnelly, who, may I remind you, is still employed by HERO! This is the writing on the wall, people! Writing on the wall!"

Henry also cited discliplinary transcripts as more evidence of "clearly perverse actions by Patricia Donnelly" that should clearly call for Aria to resign immediately. The debate over whether or not Aria, the daughter of a serial killer, should be allowed to remain in HERO has grown more prominent in the media after her involvement in the Gugliano affair, where she (along with several other heroes) helped topple the Gugliano mafia in one of HERO's largest stings in the decade. Several major heroes, including Seraph, have continued to protest Aria's involvement in the organization, saying that she is a "ticking time-bomb of villainy, waiting to explode and kill us all." Despite these strong sentiments, Director Hugo Powers has stalwartly refused to reconsider Aria's admission into the organization, saying, "All of our heroes are treated the same, regardless of background. If Aria is suspected of committing a crime or violating HERO conduct, she will be investigated like any other HERO, but she has been an honorable and integral part of HERO since her joining and shows no signs of any sort of significant wrongdoing." Powers has threatened to sue several news publications for libel if they continue to run what he considers 'defamatory' stories on HERO employees and called Henry "a slimy, drug-loving turd that lives in his mother's basement."

Despite the controversy, [u]"The Violonist of Violence"[/u] is a fascinating account on the tales of a supervillain that devastated the country, and one that is certainly worthy of picking up for a good read. Henry will be attending a book tour through Castleburg the week of April 27th and will also be featured as a guest on InfoWars next Tuesday. 

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[b][u]CHAPTER III:[/u]  [color=fff200]Heroism Without Class[/color][/b]

[hider=Goodbye Wings, Hello Crew]
It's been a chaotic few days in Castleburg for the superhero community. In only the span of two days, the HERO ORganization was dissolved, replaced, and then re-instated following a massive coup d'etat lead by the Wings of Law, the famous superhero group that was the pre-eminent superhero team in Castleburg. The Wings of Law attempted to usurp the existing HERO organization, which has been in place for hundreds of years, and insert their own Castleburg-based Northeastern hero organization called EAGLES, with the help of several villains the group had contracted to help successfully dismantle the old organization. Within a day, though, their new organization was dismantled, and HERO once again was instated as Castleburg's hero group. 

With the end of the July Coup, a major paradigm shift has occurred almost overnight as the former Wings of Law members were taken into custody. Wings of Law founders Sea Serpent and Mr. Impressive are both facing multiple counts of conspiracy and treason. (Additionally, Mr. Impressive is facing over 400 charges of sexual misconduct). Fellow founder Seraph is missing, presumed dead. The other members of the Wings of Law that participated in the coup d'etat have, at the request of HERO Director Hugo Powers, will not be charged and allowed to re-join HERO as before. The former sky-high popularity of the Wings of Law has now diminished. St. Dominic's University has renamed their Seraph Hall to Bryant Hall, and two romantic comedies starring Seraph have been pulled from theaters following the attempted coup d'etat, and Wings of Law-owned locations such as the Meridian and Club 27 have been sold to new owners. 

In the wake of these catastrophic events, several younger heroes have seen a surge in popularity. Starbright, who according to sources played a significant role in overturning the coup d'etat, has seen one of the largest boosts in popularity post-coup. Starbright spokeswoman Alexandra Brightstar said in a statement to the Times, "the failure of the coup and re-emergence of HERO has only confirmed the obvious- that Starbright is not only an extremely talented actor, singer, songwriter, dancer, musician, record producer, model, businessperson, fashion designer, and spokesperson, but is also an immensely powerful hero. #SufferingFromSuccess2033 #StarbrightMovieDealWhen?" Indeed, Starbright has become a new front for HERO, and has attracted a number of movie deals and sponsorships attempts. Starbright will be releasing a new album along with a new perfume scent in the coming weeks. 

Several other heroes have also seen a significant rise in popularity as well. Most notably, teenage superheroine Aria, who was once reviled by critics and the general public as a daughter of infamous serial killer Maestro, has emerged from the incident with a growing and supportive fanbase. During the coup d'etat, Patricia was briefly placed in the Castleburg Most Wanted for committing over 50 spontaneous murders; however, further analysis revealed that most of the murders were committed by a separate but unknown villain that has still eluded justice. District Attorney McClain dropped all charges the day after the coup d'etat was foiled and issued a formal apology to the hero/singer. Since then, Aria has gained a following mostly among angsty teenage girls that can relate to the young hero. 

Also seeing a large increase in popularity are several younger heroes that also attempted to shut down the coup d'etat, including Firebird, Spacewalker, Quake, and Kanati, all of whom have been with HERO for multiple years. Spacewalker in particular disappointed many delusional fans after being spotted by paparazzi in an intimate relationship with Korean heroine Bypass only a day after engaging in a televised kiss with celebrity hero and Neo Wings leader Priestess. New hero and Starbright apprentice The Bullet and prodigal inventor/hero Sir E. Brum also played significant roles in the coup d'etat and have seen increases in popularity as well. There were several other heroes that were believed to have been spotted during the fight against EAGLES, including a blonde cyborg hero, a redhead hero that was submerged in the ground, and a critically injured hero. HERO, however, refused to identify these three, and so the Times investigative crew has termed them as "Terminator", "Ground Mermaid", and "Magic Hobo," respectively. 

Many of the aforementioned heroes have gone on to form their own HERO-associated group, the C.R.E.W., which stands for "Castleburg Really Epic Warriors," and have opened a headquarters in the East Flank. CREW has become a popular local phenomenon due to their role in stopping the coup d'etat as well as their extremely destructive tendencies during hero/villain combat. Rivaling their popularity is a new organization called the Neo Wings, founded by former Wings of Law member, superheroine, model, singer, actress, and socialite Emily Morgan or Priestess. Though the Neo Wings were formed from the remains of the ultra-popular Wings of Law, they have yet to obtain nearly the same popularity as the old Wings of Law did, due to the reputational harm that the coup d'etat caused to the Wings of Law.

With a new forefront of media-friendly heroes on the way, things in Castleburg aren't going to be slowing down any time soon. As usual, Director Hugo Powers, who was critically injured during the coup but recovered, declined to comment on any of the aforementioned matters.  

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