Darin looked Ridahne in the eyes as she forced herself to breath the way her companion asked her to do. It wasn’t easy and honestly the human wasn’t sure that it was helping. How could Ridahne not know? Did anyone know? Darin was doing this whole thing blindly and it was making her nervous and stressed out. She felt woefully underqualified. How could the warrior look at her with such faith and determination? It seemed like Ridahne was seeing more in her than was really there. She wasn’t the only one. Ravi and the other Workers at The Farm had done the same thing. Darin wondered if she was inadvertently lying to them. That was the last thing she wanted to do.

Darin gently but firmly dislodged the hand from her shoulder, “How can you say that? I’m basically uneducated. I know enough reading and writing and sums to avoid getting cheated, but that’s it. I know nothing about Astra or its cultural or its history or its heritage. I don’t understand people. I understand animals better than I understand people and I barely understand them. I understand dirt. That’s it; dirt. I might could tell you when it’s about to rain but that’s it.”

These weren’t new feelings. They had been there since The Gardener had given her The Seed. The strength of the feeling of inadequacy ebbed and flowed like a tide or storm. Right now, they were strong and even though Darin was doing her best to take deep breathes as Ridahne had instructed she still felt like she was teetering on the edge of a very high cliff. One wrong move and she would go tumbling off the edge and towards unseen bottom that was madness. Darin didn’t want to fail. She wanted do do her very best. It just seemed like her very best was destined to fail.

Darin began a pacing a short distance as she gnawed and her thumbnail, “You seem so sure that I’m the best person for the job. Ravi is so sure that I’m the right choice. And I get why it has to be a farmer, I really do. Only a farmer couldn’t understand the full gravity of the situation. Only a farmer could understand why what has to be done has to be done. But there have to be farmers that our better educated, that know Astra and its people better than I do, that can fight and defend themselves and others, that can be more confident.” Her paceing suddenly stopped as she looked at Ridahne with a look of wild desperation on her face, “So how can you say that, you who barely know me, how can you be so sure? How can Ravi, only only knew be for a few days say that? How can Elder Nicoli, who has known me all my life, who has been frustrated with me all my life, say that?” Her laugh was not a good sound, “He practically hated me you know. Then, right as I was leaving, he looked me dead in the eyes and said, ‘Darin, I can think of no one better to accomplish this task. I can think of no one better to carry this burden. Darin, I know we have constantly been at odds, but I have the utmost faith in your ability to do this incredible job magnificently.” She resumed her pacing, “How can three very different people, with whom I have had three very different relationships, all say the same thing? How can they all have the same faith in me when I have no faith in myself.” She stopped pacing only to stare up at the canopy. As her hand reached out towards the sky she barely whispered, “This is such a large job; such a high honor. And I’m just me; a small person with no real sense of how big this job is except to know that it is probably a bigger role than I can ever hope to fill.” Her hand closed as her arm slowly lowered, “So how can you say that and be so sure?”