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[color=darkgray][indent][indent]Sitting on the ledge of the roof, his feet hanging off, listening to Blinding Lights by The Weeknd, Ryland peered down at his new school, having not touched his packed lunch, at all. He was too lost in his head to hear the growing noises coming from his stomach. If his dad wanted him to change, he should’ve transferred him sophomore year, or something. At least then he wouldn’t feel isolated, like he did now. Like he didn’t belong.  

He had a community in Los Angeles, support and love, and he took that for granted. Not saying he doesn’t have that here, it’s just… different. If they never moved from Florida to LA when he was small, it wouldn’t feel like he was a stranger in a strange land. This feeling, the feeling of having to put way more effort than not, to fit in, sucked. 

His first day set the tone for the rest of the semester. There was no reason in trying if he had already committed social suicide. Everyone around him was enjoying their young, teen life, and here he was, aimless and annoyed. Annoyed at everything, but most importantly, annoyed at himself. He shouldn’t care who Ariel dates. He shouldn’t care that his two best friends got together. He shouldn’t care! What he should care about is becoming someone his mom was proud to have as her son and someone his dad could trust won’t get himself killed. It was exhausting. 

Life. 

Why? Why bother? What’s the point? 

Nothing mattered and he was meaningless. His anger was a mask hiding the true culprit that ate at him, each and every day. Ryland Aspen felt like an empty shell and had nothing to fight for. He didn’t have a home, not really. He had people he’d die for, he had family, but between Beverly Hills and Crown Heights, he floated. Times like these, he couldn’t explain it. This crippling feeling that leaves him thinking about all the what ifs. What if he grew up with Sonny, Marisol, and the misfits? What if his dad never got with his step mom? What if Zayden wasn’t the golden boy? What if he didn’t exist? What if… Heavily sighing, he stared down at the blank space between his feet and the ground. Stuck, in his own head.

[color=brown]“Fucking [i]finally[/i]!”[/color]

For the past fifteen minutes, Marisol had been on the hunt for Ryland. After fine tuning the details of Operation Rulie­, the couple had set out on the task of finding their star crossed lovers for Phase One. They had expected this to run quickly and smoothly, and to have a response in ten minutes tops. But for such a small school, it had been a real pain in the ass to find Julie and Ry. They must have been fucking legends playing hide and seek growing up.

[color=brown]“I’ve been looking everywhere for you, so when I couldn’t find you I decided to take a smoke break. Didn’t think I’d actually find you up here,”[/color] she laughed, plopping down next to Ryland and wasting no time in lighting up a perfectly rolled joint and taking a deep pull. [color=brown]“Want some?”[/color] she asked her friend, offering up the joint and exhaling puffs of cannabis smoke like a dragon.

With the sudden presence next to him, breaking him out of his spiraling thoughts, Rye tugged his headphones off and shook his head, which was unfortunate, but for the best, [color=fff700]“Nah, I’ll pass. What was it you were saying? Sorry, couldn’t hear you over my music.”[/color] No longer staring down at the students that looked like ants, he tilted his head towards Marisol, actually appreciative of the company. 

Marisol rolled her eyes. [color=brown]“That I’ve been looking fucking everywhere for you,”[/color] she repeated, taking another puff of the joint. Upon closer inspection, Mari noticed her friend was looking and acting rather gloomy- which was very unlike himself. Her cheerful demeanor suddenly shifted to worry. [color=brown]“Is everything okay?”[/color] the girl asked him, frowning with concern.

As much as he wanted to put on a front, she caught him when his guard was down, so he simply shrugged and admitted, [color=fff700]“Just shit.”[/color] He didn’t know how to put it in words, how to explain how depressed he’s been, thinking his father would be better off with two sons, rather than three. It was all there, in his head, but… words escaped him. [color=fff700]“Shit’s been rough, and I don’t really know what to do about it.”[/color] 

The familiar feeling of guilt began to bubble up inside Marisol at Ryland’s words. His first encounter with her and Sonny had been under less than favorable circumstances, then the shit with Ariel happened, plus whatever else he had going on behind the scenes. Although she knew that whatever negative feelings the curly-haired boy weren’t [i]just[/i] her fault, she couldn’t help but think that she had contributed to this slump in his mood. Letting out a deep sigh, Mari scooted closer to her friend and rested her head on his shoulder. [color=brown]“Look, I know that there’s probably nothing I can say to make it better, but I can hear you out if you ever want to talk about it.”[/color]

[color=fff700]“I know…”[/color] He muttered, leaning his head against her’s, turning it slightly so his nose rested on her hair. [color=fff700]“...and I appreciate it.”[/color] He really did and part of him knew that his friend empathized with him and also carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. She deserved to hear more than just half-ass words. After biting the inside of his cheeks, he tried his best to articulate some of his demons, [color=fff700]“I want to see this move as something positive. I have you. And Sonny. And everyone else. I just… can’t help to think I always… fuck up. Like I don’t deserve this.”[/color] He gestured to her, which symbolized friendship. [color=fff700]“I don’t deserve...a moment where I feel okay.”[/color] He paused and pushed a piece of hanging hair behind his ear,  [color=fff700]“I’d settle with okay.”[/color] 

[color=brown]“We both know that’s a whole lotta bullshit,”[/color] she quickly interjected, taking another drag from the joint to buy herself some time to think about her next words. [color=brown]“Sure: you fuck up sometimes. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that you don’t. But, newsflash! We all do. Making mistakes doesn’t make you this big, bad, undeserving person. Your value and your worth don’t decrease with however many times you stumble along the way. No matter how many times you mess up, you [i]still[/i] deserve to be more than okay- because you’re you. You’re the amazing Ryland fucking Aspen, for crying out loud! You deserve all the fucking happiness this world has to offer. And if you don’t believe it, I’ll [b]make[/b] you fucking believe it.”[/color]

As she preached, with passion and sass, Rye couldn’t help but smirk as he observed her. Yeah, maybe being alone wasn’t the best thing for him to do because hearing her words felt like sugar that made awful tasting medicine go down. She didn’t say anything offensive and she wasn’t acting better than him. Marisol was humble and understood perfectly what stage he was at, and more importantly, she loved him. 

Raising an eyebrow, he snickered,  [color=fff700]“How exactly are you going to do that?”[/color] Make him [i]believe[/i] he deserved happiness, like she had with Sonny, like Aunt Miley had when she treated children at the hospital, like his dad had when he saw everything he made, from ground up. The only person that could convince him of that was himself, and yet, seeing her there cheering him on and speaking words of wisdom, made him feel like nothing was impossible and maybe, just maybe, Marisol Castillo was the solution that would get him out of this funk.  

[color=brown]“You don’t wanna know…”[/color] Mari mysteriously replied, keeping her green eyes locked on her friend’s brown eyes as she took the last pull from her joint in a purposely comical attempt at being seductive. Of course, she lasted about a full five seconds before snorting and bursting into laughter. [color=brown]“Fuck, that was terrible,”[/color] she chortled, tossing the remains of the joint over her shoulder. 

[color=fff700]“You’re telling me.”[/color] The once depressed boy sitting on the roof was now laughing on the roof with a friend. A best friend at that. While flirting wasn’t something he was used to seeing Mari do, it was adorable, even if there was no merit behind it and it wasn’t her strong suit. [color=fff700]“Dude, I can only imagine how you talk to Son.”[/color]

[color=brown]“In my defense, I wasn’t really trying,”[/color] the short girl admitted in an attempt to justify herself. Meanwhile, his last statement went unanswered in order to preserve what little untainted images he had of her and Sonny. [color=brown]“But fuck that and let’s get back to business. I [i]was[/i] looking for you for a reason.”[/color]

With the mood lifted, at least for now, and hopefully for the rest of the day, Rye realized that his friend came here for something and that wasn’t to cheer him up.  [color=fff700]“Oh shit. My bad. What did [b]you[/b] want to talk about?”[/color] As much as this therapy session did do wonders for him, and as short as it was, he was ready to move on. It was only a matter of time this would start making him feel uncomfortable, so it was for the best he changed the subject. Talking about [i]feelings[/i] wasn’t [i]his[/i] strong suit. 

[color=brown]“[i]Well[/i]...”[/color] Mari began, rubbing her hands together like some sort of mad scientist just to throw him off. [color=brown]“The reason I’ve been looking for you is so I could be the perfect, macho masculine gentleman I am and formally ask you out to the dance next week.”[/color]

Oh fuck. That’s right. The [i]dance[/i]. He had pushed that deep in the back of his mind. If this was anyone else, he would probably reject them on the spot. Instead, he grumbled and whined, [color=fff700]“You’re going to make me go?”[/color] 

[color=brown]“Yes the fuck I am!”[/color] she fervently declared, lightly punching him in the shoulder. [color=brown]“I’ll drag you by the hair if I have to. You can definitely use the distraction.”[/color]

[color=fff700]“Is this really a distraction when everything is PG-13?”[/color] Rolling his eyes, he defeatedly huffed, [color=fff700]“Fine, it’s not like I have a choice. But under one condition.”[/color] 

Marisol raised a questioning eyebrow up at him. [color=brown]“What?”[/color]

With a goofy, dumb grin, Rye proclaimed, [color=fff700]“Your boyfriend must save a dance for me.”[/color] 

The short girl erupted into loud cackles at the idea of Sonny’s terrible dancing skills being put on the spot with Ryland as a partner. And the more she thought about it, the harder she laughed. It took a solid few minutes for Marisol to stop wheezing long enough to talk again. [color=brown]“Deal,”[/color] she said, wiping the mascara-stained tears from her cheeks. [color=brown]“But only if it’s a smoking hot, Magic Mike style lap dance. Gotta go big or go home.”[/color]

[color=fff700]“You know me, Sol, I’m here for the Money.”[/color] He winked at her, amused at the direction their conversation went. They both weren’t the type to keep things serious for too long and honestly, yeah, she was just what the doctor ordered. [color=fff700]“Hey, where is that fucker anyways?”[/color] 

[color=brown]“I’ve got no fucking idea,”[/color] Mari said with a shrug, rising up from her seating position and getting her things just as Ryland did the same. When they were both ready, the brunette linked their arms together and gave her best friend a bright smile. [color=brown]“C’mon. Let’s go find him. Lunch is nearly over anyway.”[/color][/indent][/indent][/color]