Darin looked at the hand that Ridahne held out in offering. The warrior was right. The very thought of someone like Khaltira, who was so evil that The Tree reached out to anyone who would listen just to get rid of her, having The Seed made her very ill. The thought of someone like Mark or this Red Hand having The Seed made Darin want to cling to The Seed all the tighter. She found herself fighting an urge to lean down and rub her hand against the band on her thigh just to make sure it was still there. She could feel it and shouldn’t check in such a public place.

To be honest she shouldn’t be having this conversation in such a public place either. Yes, it was secluded but anyone could walk by at any time. She didn’t need to draw attention to herself unless she could help it. Darin had let her panic get the better of her and that had been a foolish mistake. She almost wanted to brush the whole thing off and let Ridahne lead her back to the inn. She wasn’t sure that was wise. She didn’t want to get in another fight. They hadn’t been in a fight since The Farm. She didn’t want to break the streak in way shape or form.

Still she did not reach out for the hand. Instead her arms wrapped around herself in a semblance of a hug, “I’m scared.”

Her voice was quiet and betrayed her fear. It wasn’t something she had really discussed with anyone. Ridahne was right. Everyone started at the beginning including her. Darin knew enough to know that at the beginning of his journey The Gardener had felt similar feelings of inadequacy. He had also had the same fears. The Tree had told her that. That didn’t mean those feelings weren’t valid. If Darin failed there would be no redo. There would be no fixing any mistakes. IF Darin failed all of Astra, all of the Children of Astra would be doomed. The Gardener had barely succeeded. That was not something that the world could afford to have happen again. Darin couldn’t just barely succeed. She had to gloriously triumph. That wasn’t something she could tell anybody. The truth about Astra’s origins was a lot more complicated than people thought. It was one piece of a cycle that was practically endless. Darin had a responsibility to keep the cycle going and she was scared. She did not be one the one break it or cause a delay. No one had really failed in over a hundred changes. 

Her shoulders hunched over as she fought tears, “When you messed up being a fisherman’s daughter you became an Eija. Then when you messed that up you saved lives.” Darin was doing her level best to make herself seem as small as possible, “If I mess up all of Astra is doomed. I don’t know if what I’m doing is right. I don’t know if I have enough time to do what I am doing.” She looked at her coming in desperation, “You’re right, maybe, most likely. But I’m still.” A pause as she cast her gaze back too the ground, “Scared.”