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[sub][hr][/sub][color=silver][right][sup][i][color=#139AE8]L[/color][color=#1089CE]o[/color][color=#0E78B5]c[/color][color=#0C679B]a[/color][color=#0A5682]t[/color][color=#084669]i[/color][color=#06354F]o[/color][color=#042436]n[/color][color=#02131D]:[/color][/i] Stockbridge Academy, Teacher’s Lounge[/sup][/right][right][sup][i][color=#139AE8]D[/color][color=#0F7BBA]a[/color][color=#0B5D8C]t[/color][color=#073F5F]e[/color][color=#032131]:[/color][/i] 3/6/19[/sup][/right][right][sup][i][color=#139AE8]W[/color][color=#0F7BBA]i[/color][color=#0B5D8C]t[/color][color=#073F5F]h[/color][color=#032131]:[/color][/i] Everyone[/sup][/right][/color][sup][hr][/sup] [indent][color=silver] It really did feel like everyone was trying a bit too hard to keep their cool. 

Maybe that was for the best? Colmillo really didn't know. She was sure, though, at this point that someone would [i]tell[/i] her it was. That it was like, 'better and more practical' or whatever to use their feelings for whatever task at hand the people who wanted to rush out and bash people-- or rather [i]zombie skulls[/i]-- wanted. Maybe all of that was for the best? Maybe she should try her best to swallow the fear that she had thought had always consumed her, until she had been dipped into a pure vat of it earlier today-- she felt she hadn't been allowed to come up for air. Like, these discussions were sinking her further into the depths of what she thought she already knew as fear and it made her want to scream. Like, actually scream. But she knew she couldn't. Every few minutes, despite her blank stare, her lips trembled-- her mind was racing, much faster than she could deal with and she didn't think there was anything to do. She didn't want to feel like she was keeping her cool through this-- she wanted to completely explode and be a cloud of mist-- but a hand was wrapped around her throat, threatening to snap it if she showed how she really felt.

The powerlessness was familiar, at least.

Aside from that. She really couldn't say she was familiar with anything anyone was saying, in regards to the plan for the group. Just as she learned she hadn't really known fear. She knew now, too, she hadn't really known ignorance. She thought she was stupid [i]before[/i], this morning even, for something as simple as not eating as much as she should... but as she thought, she continued to discover how deeply out of her depth she truly was. Half listening to the continued conversations of the group, she mentally scolded herself for how ill she'd been in her thinking to some of her new companions. She couldn't understand all of them, or their thinking, of course. That much was clear. But, she realized they couldn't stay here forever, and despite not understanding it, they were working past whatever they feeling (regardless of how unhealthy it may be) and trying to do something about... [i]all of this.[/i] Colmillo wasn't there yet, but she could at least respect it. She needed more time.

Perhaps enough time, that she didn't feel like there was a cancerous side of her that wanted to go around grabbing everyone, and delivering ear shattering screams that they needed to wait, so that they could [i]actually[/i] be more chill, instead of just putting on the front so no one else panics and rushing out. She wasn't sure. Maybe that wasn't productive. Maybe acting as quickly as possible was best for her peers. Not her though-- and at least not a few others. She supposed she was calm enough now that she could at least acknowledge that.

Talking to the the shorter girl had loosened Colmillo up a bit. She was definitely feeling less of her typical neurosis after actually vocalizing how she was feeling about all of this. She had said a lot to the girl... probably an obnoxious amount... over the course of a short whisper. Turning a bit, her eyes flitted over to her-- the girl hadn't really responded to her-- her admittedly very silly-- way of communicating. But that may have been a good thing, actually, considering she [i]had[/i] requested that no one know she could even speak. Or maybe she was doing her best to ignore the tall crazy stoner rambling about shared psychosis or whatever. Colmillo's eye went back to the countertop, she had turned away from everyone again. They were planning their route and such. Colmillo wasn't going to protest... she couldn't. But she didn't want any part of it.

That being said, she hoped the group the left for the cafeteria would be okay. Whether they were killing people that could be saved or not. They were... all she had, for the time being, at least. She wanted them to come back safe. She wanted to be well enough to help.[/color][/indent][sub][hr][/sub][color=silver][right][sup][i][color=#139AE8]L[/color][color=#1089CE]o[/color][color=#0E78B5]c[/color][color=#0C679B]a[/color][color=#0A5682]t[/color][color=#084669]i[/color][color=#06354F]o[/color][color=#042436]n[/color][color=#02131D]:[/color][/i] Stockbridge Academy, Teacher’s Lounge[/sup][/right][right][sup][i][color=#139AE8]D[/color][color=#0F7BBA]a[/color][color=#0B5D8C]t[/color][color=#073F5F]e[/color][color=#032131]:[/color][/i] 3/6/19[/sup][/right][right][sup][i][color=#139AE8]W[/color][color=#0F7BBA]i[/color][color=#0B5D8C]t[/color][color=#073F5F]h[/color][color=#032131]:[/color][/i] Bill, Tony, Dontae[/sup][/right][/color][sup][hr][/sup][indent][color=silver] [i][color=#139AE8]Whole lot of good [b]*wishing*[/b] they would be fine does them, Colmillo.[/color][/i] 

She wasn't sure how long the group that had left to... go somewhere else? Had been gone. Seconds? Months? Less than an hour? It was definitely one of those, and every option made Colmillo nervous. They had a loose agreement that if things were clear, they'd come back for those who stayed behind. If things weren't? They'd probably die, honestly. But, those who could would probably run back here anyway. That was where Tony came in-- the guy who had some liquor-- he'd be quick enough on the draw to get the door open for whoever came running back, and kick away anything that was biting at their heels. Truthfully? He made Colmillo nervous. But everyone made Colmillo nervous. She wasn't a big drinker, but at least she'd have access to [b]SOMETHING[/b] if things took a turn for the worse. That was...

[i][color=#139AE8]Goddddddddddd...[/color][/i]

Colmillo [i]really[/i] wished she had a blunt right about now.

Of course such a line of thinking led down another avenue of mental misery for her. Of course it did. She could almost imagine herself being the object of an incomprehensible otherworldly being existing beyond some grey veil, who gained some sick nourishment from her teenage sadness exacerbated by a circumstance as extraordinary as this-- dictating that no line of thought lead her to bliss, purely by the drunken gnashing of its flesh tendrils against the runes of the 5th dimension. She sighed, shaking aside the tangent. She was worried about her step-siblings. It wasn't a priority, and it made her feel like shit for even thinking about it-- but it was more than just them being her friends, or the closest things she had to those here-- she could deal with this [i]so much[/i] better if she was high. Hell, she could at least endure the Waiting Room from hell this room had become.

Her mind thankfully drifted. She was sitting on the counter, near the coffee pot (at the rate she was going she'd need to brew a new pot soon), enjoying... her second cup of the stuff? Since the cafeteria group had left. 'Enjoying' it was a bit of an overstatement, she supposed. The simple espresso the lounge's auto-drip coffee maker produced was heavily watered down-- designed to make as much coffee as possible for as many people as possible with as few, non-fresh grounds. While that wasn't a bad if you were attempting to serve [i]hundreds[/i] with a single pot (and the grounds were kept in the brew, not passed through)-- this lounge, to Colmillo's knowledge, only served [i]dozens.[/i] And the machine was old. Despite the expensive renovations, it seemed the school couldn't shell out for decent coffee for the teachers and staff. 

Colmillo looked down at the coffee that filled her thermos. She had to admit to herself, though. This brown slop was better than the several days old elixir she'd had in it beforehand. She took a sip and let out a soft sigh. Paradoxically, it made her feel more relaxed. Enough so that she felt confident peering around the (much quieter and more empty) room. Aside from Tony, who currently had his back turned to her, glancing nervously into the hallway. There was Dontae, seemingly conflicted at being treated like the baby of the group, having food given to him and being sidelined from the cafeteria expedition, as well as still feeling... [i]everything.[/i] And then there was Bill... Colmillo couldn't really get a good read on her. The two hadn't explicitly interacted, she'd scoffed (appropriately so) when Colmillo dropped all of her belongings (now, save for some trash, snugly in her bag by her side) and whatever else she could find in the room on the table before everyone. Like a complete maniac. 

And then Colmillo whispered to her that she thought everyone else was crazy. 

So, they weren't off to a great start. But Colmillo was hoping to change that. The girl wasn't good at much-- but her family had always told her that she was a great listener. She wasn't really sure that was a skill-- but-- right now, with everyone doing what they could, Colmillo figured she'd at least... [i]try?[/i] There were fewer people now... this was probably the closest she'd get to being one on one with someone in a while, so she may as well. Talking to anyone period may have been bad, but crowds were worse. And she wanted to talk to all three of the people she was with. Bill to clear things up, Tony to see if she could Irish up her coffee, and Dontae to offer support-- though, she supposed she wanted to offer some form of support to all three of them. If serving as a sounding board for how messed up all this was could help anyone here would help... well... good! Right? Yes? Maybe?

[color=#139AE8][i]yES![/i][/COLOR]

So that was good! She had a plan. Something she could do that wouldn't catastrophically ruin everything for everyone.

But she wanted to finish her coffee before she got into all of that. Swinging her legs to her left, she scooted forward and laid on her back against the counter. Digging in her bag, she pulled out her phone and earbuds with at least one functional ear. It still had power, at least. A combination of bumming chargers from her astray step-siblings and simply not using it for anything besides music had left it at a fairly high charge. She had a few playlists saved offline. Opening one, merely titled 'gay' she pressed shuffle and listened to the song that played. Once again, trying her best to process all that was happening without screaming.[/color][/indent]
[center][youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbzxm3SOY2k[/youtube][/center]
[indent][color=#139AE8][i][sub]Let me ignore the world. Just a minute more...[/sub][/i][/COLOR][/indent][hr]