[u]Elixir of Immortality[/u]

"I thirst."
"Allow me to fetch you a glass of water, Your Majesty."
"Tis not water of which I speak."
"Ah, wine then."

Empress Casca hopped off her throne, folded her hands behind her back, and approached the butler. She lifted her chin as the corner of her mouth turned up slightly. "I had something a bit more intoxicating in mind. Fetch me the knights."
"Yes, Your Majesty."

The butler returned with all the knights in tow. Sir Charles Ramsey, a young blond fellow who looked perpetually about to crack up a joke, bowed low, then splayed out his hands and complained, "We're told you summoned us all here, with all haste and from many leagues away, for a cup of spirits?"

The Empress dipped back her head and laughed. "Right you are, Charles! I am indeed fond of a good drink. Perhaps a little too fond, as some of you discovered last week. I trust you've all forgotten as instructed."

Sir Elbert Welkin, a man whose very face threatened murder and long poems, spoke in his usual quiet tone, "I cannot recall Her Majesty ever calling the king of Vermach a 'lily-livered pansy and a hamster.' My memory of that night is rather foggy."

The Empress's face pinked. "Ahem. As it should be. This time, I had a much more...pleasant drink in mind."
Charles facepalmed. "I bet it's vodka. Don't tell me it's vodka. Is it vodka?"
"It is not vodka."
"Don't keep us in suspense, then! What is it?"

"The Elixir of Immortality."

Silence fell over the throne room.

At length, all the knights went "Huh?" all at once.

Casca smirked and withdrew a book from behind her back. "You've heard the tale of the Black Tower, yes? As the myth goes, when the three gods alighted on this world, they created elixirs of immortality and with them ascended three other men, that they might join the other gods in ruling the universe. Now, you know me; I am no pagan worshipper of any pantheon. But this..." She shook the book. "This myth, there is a grain of truth to it, I believe. To discover the truth, we must travel to the far north, where the water is hard as stone and the sun sheds not her light upon the earth. We will pass through many nations, friendly and hostile, and encounter monsters beyond imagining. But waiting for us at the end is such a feat as will be sung for generations to come."

The Empress grinned and stretched out her hand.

"So, good knights, will you join me for a drink?"