[center][url=https://fontmeme.com/the-irishman-font/][img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/200420/2fe3d12f293d369cd4d148380f8504b0.png[/img][/url]
[img]https://i.imgur.com/BsdQsVC.png[/img]
[sub]A [color=e81b00]Shawna[/color] [@NeoAJ] and [color=53f0ff]Jack[/color] [@Bee] collab[/sub][/center]


[color=white][color=53F0FF]“Yeah, your boy’s got a date to the dance tonight!”[/color] Jack said rather ceremoniously, staring at himself in the mirror as he made sure his suit looked as dapper as humanly possible. [color=53F0FF]“I mean, it’s not much of a surprise, but this ain’t your ordinary pump and dump chick.”[/color] There was a pep in Jack’s step as he finished tightening his bowtie, turning around to face who was revealed to be Laura Goff, his sister. 

Laura was currently home after expressing desire of her boredom with Massachusetts. Of course, she had to go back at some point, but she figured spending the week with her family wouldn’t be so bad, and it’d be a welcome break from a strenuous curriculum that she was facing up north.

Jack was delighted that his sister was back in town for once, but he had more pressing priorities tonight. This was a completely new situation for Jack, one that he hadn’t really been in before. Jack was known to be quite the playboy, at least in his mind, but being someone’s beard was a completely foreign situation to him. This was going to be interesting, to say the least.

[color=skyblue]“Didn’t you just say that she wasn’t actually your [i]date[/i] date?”[/color] Laura replied, looking up from her phone to look at her kid brother. [color=53F0FF]“Yeah, which is why this isn’t a pump and dump chick. Besides, for whatever stupid reason, they’re not letting us bring girlfriends or boyfriends or whatever. Strictly platonic, or so they say.”[/color] It was made very clear from the very beginning that this was purely for superficial reasons, which Laura was made very well aware of almost immediately after it happened.

[color=53F0FF]“Besides, she’s got a girlfriend or whatever.”[/color] Jack shrugged, turning around to further adjust his hair in the mirror, [color=53F0FF]“I don’t know what the hell is going on with those two, but it’s none of my business. Whatever makes them happy. She gets to maintain her cover, I get to have a date to a dance. Win-win, am I right?”[/color] Jack chuckled, before determining his appearance to be sharp enough to cut diamonds on.

[color=53F0FF]“Anyway, how do I look? Great, right?”[/color] Jack smirked, before walking past his sister to grab his phone and wallet and stuff them in his pockets. [color=53F0FF]“I feel bad for you. You’re gonna be stuck here and bored as hell while I’m gonna have fun with Shawna. Sucks to suck!”[/color] Jack teased, as Laura rolled her eyes. [color=skyblue]“I’m pretty sure you were going to ask me if this Shawna chick didn’t say yes.”[/color]

Jack stared at Laura for a moment.

[color=53F0FF]“Please.”[/color] Jack scoffed, before he opened the door out of his room, [color=53F0FF]“Don’t get too bored without me!”[/color] Jack said, as he stepped out of his room. His father, Frank Goff, had been generous enough to allow Jack to borrow his [url=https://media.ed.edmunds-media.com/dodge/viper/2003/oem/2003_dodge_viper_convertible_srt-10_fq_oem_2_500.jpg]Dodge Viper[/url] for the night. Frank knew how quickly a cool car would make its way to a girl’s heart, which is why he had no qualms with giving Jack so much power. 

As usual, Frank and Sydney were nowhere to be found as Jack stepped out. They probably had “appointments” at work or something like that. Not like Jack had much of a problem with it, that just meant he was able to get into the car without getting the schtick about seducing girls from his father and how he managed to “bag his mother”. Jack could just go straight to the car, and drive on from there.

It wasn’t long until Jack was on the road, and surprisingly enough, Shawna didn’t live too far from Jack. It was about a ten minute drive, even without some spirited driving on Jack’s side. For whatever reason, though, meeting Shawna’s parents was something that did strike a little fear into whatever Jack had called his heart. He didn’t pay much mind in meeting the pump and dump parents, wasn’t like he was ever going to see them again, but with Shawna’s parents, there was a lot more at stake. Shawna was a bit cooler than the pump and dump, and he didn’t want to let her down.

Soon enough, Jack arrived at Shawna’s house. It was a rather nice house at that, one that caused Jack to make a slightly longer gaze at it as he stepped up. Taking a deep breath, he walked up to the door, ringing the doorbell to announce that he was there.

Meanwhile, for the first time in a long time, Shawna Josi was pacing in her room.

Before it was a common occurrence. She would use it as a break from her studying sessions. Getting the blood flowing was supposed to help jump start the brain. One could almost make out a worn path in the carpet where she tried to reorganize her thoughts, where the red lightened to a pale, almost-pink hue. It hadn’t seen action in months, due to Shawna’s newfound laissez-faire attitude to life and her desire to spend most of her time either in a chair with a bag of Lays Poppables while watching Netflix, or, in recent times, out with one of her girl friends. Or her girl friend.

That wasn’t a clear option now though, and it’s why she was pacing. The higher-ups at the school had seen to that for now, and maybe that was a good thing. Things had been a little tense at home. She didn’t have it to herself anymore. Her parents officially returned from their world cruise two weeks earlier, and it was a Herculean effort on Shawna’s part to get the entire house cleansed and smelling more of Febreeze than of weed. 

Sunshine did her part to help get it ready for the grand return. She helped scrub the counters, helped steam the carpets, helped take all the accumulated bottles to the depot.  She didn’t have to do any of it, but the fact that she did was just in a drop in the bucket that was overflowing with the proof that Shawna needed to know she made the right choice in taking the leap she did. 

And to protect that relationship, it’s why she coached her Valentine’s Day date the way she did.

In a way, things perfectly fell into place for Shawna. With Jack agreeing to be her date for the night, it gave her a natural cover to avoid telling the truth to her parents. Martin and Ramona didn’t need to know that the only reason she was going with the football star was because of some cockamamie rule against not taking paramours to the grand pink and white ball. Or that no man was going to be getting that honor. Ever. As far as she knew.

Besides, they were still coming off the high of their extravagant tour of the world. Shawna had to sit through two hours of them detailing their exploits. If she had to see one more photo of a pagoda in Yangon, she was going to explode. At least once the initial excitement subsided, they let her be. They let her retreat to her room, where they believed she was hard at work studying as opposed to texting her expanding social network. 

Still, given what she now knew about herself, she wondered just how convincing she could actually be. It wasn’t like she had experience being the fawning girlfriend to begin with. In her parents’ eyes, Jack would be her first real date. All Shawna had to go off of were the crib notes taken from her months of binge watching sitcoms, and some gut feelings that she could only thank Sunshine for bringing out of her. It was going to be tough to channel all that into a performance that even Chrissie would have to applaud. 

It was why she paced. It was why even in the brand-new [url=https://celebbodystats.com/uploads/2019/08/12/taylor-hill-measurements-15656146275d516223d458c1.39627237.jpg]dress[/url] that she had bought for such a date, even knowing that on the other side of that car ride, the girl she loved would be waiting, she paced. All this time building up to this moment. She hoped she didn’t crack under the pressure as she did before.

The doorbell rang.

As the door opened, Jack saw not his date but an imposing man standing in the entryway. The outfit didn’t exactly scream intimidation, with the blue and yellow Hawaiian shirt with the pansies all over it muting the effects somewhat. Still, as Martin Josi stood there staring at Jack, the salt-and-pepper hair freckling his temples and his beard, the steely gaze piercing through even the thickest of skins, the wrinkles on his face highlighting the experience gained over a lifetime of fighting through the engineering industry and a mind that knew exactly how to get away with murder, all focused on the boy who was expected to take his youngest daughter to her first Valentine’s Day dance.

Martin stood silent for a moment, appraising everything, then his chiseled jaw moved and he broke out a smile that was equal parts assuring and creepy. [color=silver]“So!”[/color] he started, voiced still tinged with a Germanic accent that his parents imprinted and Florida could never truly shake. [color=silver]“You must be Jack! The boy who is going to take my girl to the big dance! Wunderba! Come in! Come in! Get out of the cold!”[/color]

Nobody told Jack that Martin sounded like the most German man to ever grace the face of this planet. The accent was jarring and it took him by surprise. He almost stammered for once before Martin took him into the Josi household. He was right, it was kinda cold tonight. He figured he should duck into the household before he made any formalities.

[color=53F0FF]“Thank you, Mr. Josi.”[/color] Jack said, getting into the house. He reached out his hand, offering it to Shawna’s father. He wanted to take care of that first before he started to look around for Shawna. After all, this man was teh reason why they were doing this in the first place. [color=53F0FF]“I’m Jack Goff. Pleasure to meet you.”[/color]

Martin took Jack’s hand in a forceful shake, getting a few pumps in before letting go. [color=silver]“I am certain the pleasure is all mine!”[/color] he said as he led the football star through the lobby towards the kitchen/living room combo that was the hub for most of the activity in the house. [color=silver]“I must admit, Shawna has been sparse with the details about you, so I am eager to learn a thing or two about the young man who is leading my daughter out into the world!”[/color] The way he emphasized young man and daughter implied an understood relation between the two beings. One that might not have been accurate, but in Martin’s mind was going to be on the table no matter what he said on the matter.

A pair of armchairs had been set up in the living room, in front of the 70” smart TV that showed Shawna every crevasse in Steve Carell’s forehead over the fall. Martin motioned for Jack to sit in the one on the right, while the elder Josi took the one on the left, underneath the giant portrait of the Matterhorn. This also allowed Martin access to the end table where he kept necessary provisions. A tall glass of beer was sitting there, the foam indicating just how recently it had been poured. [color=silver]“Come, sit! I insist!”[/color] he said, gesturing to the chair as he gracefully plunked himself down into his own La-Z-Boy.

Jack nodded along as Martin had a bit of a spiel, and it ended up with him sitting in what must’ve been one of the most comfortable chairs that he ever had the pleasure to be sitting in. He sunk into the seat a bit, before looking over to Martin who was enjoying what seemed to be a freshly poured beer. The man knew how to have a good time. Jack could respect that. But, that was about the only thing Jack could really respect about Martin.

He glanced a bit behind his seat. [color=53F0FF]“Where’s Shawna, Mr. Josi?”[/color] He asked curiously, before taking another glance around the home, [color=53F0FF]”You have a nice home, by the way.”[/color] 

[color=silver]“Why, thank you,”[/color] Martin commented. [color=silver]“When one gets a lucky bounce of the balls from God, one has to make the best of things, ja?”[/color] He leaned forward in the chair, fingers tented as he looked towards Jack. [color=silver]“Shawna will be down in time. I am certain she is just nervous about this event. This is the first time she has been out to this sort of… er, big social dance thing. She has sheltered herself for so long. It’s good to see someone such as yourself be able to look past her… tendencies to find the beauty that I see in there. Plus, I can see another athlete! Clearly the Josi family knows a thing or two about peak physical conditioning!”[/color]

[color=53F0FF]“Yeah… Shawna’s a… one of a kind girl!”[/color] Jack tried his best to hide his nervousness and the fact that he just made that up on the spot, [color=53F0FF]“Are you an athlete too, Mr. Josi? Shawna never mentioned anything of that sort. I, myself, play wide receiver for the school.”[/color]

Martin’s facade broke into laughter for a moment. [color=silver]“Hahaha, I am no athlete. However, my son Nick is playing hockey for Harvard and he’s expected to make his NHL debut this year. My older daughter Lia married a basketball player, so at least the youngest generation is in tune with sports! Hahaha!”[/color] However, he quickly returned to the now-familiar stern gaze. [color=silver]“Shawna on the other hand never seemed interested in that life, so it surprises me that a football player, such as yourself, would take such a shine to her so late in her high school tenure. You aren’t hiding any… untowards intentions with this Valentine’s Day date, are you Jack?”[/color]

[color=53F0FF]“Unknown intentions?! With Shawna? No sir. Not at all.”[/color] Jack said, smiling sheepishly. Thank fucking god he didn’t know what was going on. [color=53F0FF]“I have no intentions with your daughter, sir. No untoward intentions here.”[/color] Besides, even though Jack was pretty cool and handsome, he wasn’t no Sunshine. 

[color=silver]“No intentions?”[/color] Martin allowed himself to be surprised by that statement if only to give himself room to push harder. [color=silver]“No intentions whatsoever? So you plan on abandoning her immediately to go on your merry way at the dance?”[/color]

[color=53F0FF]“...no?”[/color] Jack was in sort of a hole at this point. [color=53F0FF]“I’m just here to give your daughter a good time at the dance. Nothing more, nothing less.”[/color] Jesus, no wonder Shawna wanted Jack to come along. This man was already difficult to deal with, he couldn’t imagine what would happen if Shawna’s secret were to come out. 

Martin smirked as he leaned back in his chair, grabbing the beer resting on the side and taking a long sip. A thin film of foam rested upon the mustache portion of his beard. [color=silver]“Well, I remember what good times there are to be had at events such as these. I’m not that old, you know. I also know there are multiple definitions of good times. If you are catching my drift of what good times I am expecting you and my daughter to have, I think then indeed, we will all have some good times. However, if you decide to extend this soiree to your definition of good times, or your friends’ definition of good times, and my daughter’s good times are negatively impacted by this, then I can assure you with the utmost of confidence, that the only good times you will be experiencing afterwards will be in my company. And I have a feeling my definition of good times in that instance will be vastly different from your definition of good times. So, do we have an understanding?”[/color]

What in tarnation? What exactly did Shawna tell Martin? It wasn’t like he would even [i]think[/i] of Shawna in anywhere even remotely close to that regard. He felt like he was in the beginning of Inglorious Basterds, complete with the rather suspicious German man lecturing at him. But, he had to remember the endgame here. This was all for Shawna’s sake, and not his. He had to play this right. [color=53F0FF]“Yes sir.”[/color] Jack nodded, [color=53F0FF]“My good times will not ruin Shawna’s good times.”[/color]

[color=silver]“Then we have an arrangement! Excellent!”[/color] Martin clapped and stood up. [color=silver]“I would offer you a drink to celebrate, but I know better than to think an athlete such as yourself would be risking every part of your future just for a sip of an admittedly average-quality beer! Instead, I shall let you get on with your night!”[/color] The patriarch of the Josi family headed over towards the stairwell. [color=silver]“Shawna! Your gentleman caller has arrived!”[/color]

[color=e81b00][i]Fucking finally.[/i][/color] Now that Jack had passed the test, it was safe for Shawna to come out. Her pacing could cease. 

She emerged quickly from her room and came down the staircase, only to be immediately enveloped by her father. Martin gave her a big hug and held her close. [color=silver]“I know this is a big night for you, my dear. But know I will be here and if you find yourself in an unsavory situation, you give me a call and I will make sure you are swiftly whisked away.”[/color]

[color=e81b00]“I know, Dad,”[/color] Shawna confirmed. [color=e81b00]“I’ll be all right. Not like anything is going to happen with the teachers watching everyone like a hawk.”[/color]

[color=silver]“I’m certain. But, just in case.”[/color]

[color=e81b00]“You can let me go now.”[/color]

Martin finally released his daughter from his grip, allowing her to see Jack for the first time. He had cleaned up well. Had to have done well enough to pass her dad’s eye test. Even if it was very hard to feel threatened by that shirt. She looked over and gave a demure wave. [color=e81b00]“H-Hi Jack. I’m ready when you are.”[/color]

It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders as Martin stood up and clapped, and he [i]finally[/i] called for Shawna after what felt like an eternity underneath the grilling of one Mr. Martin Josi. He was pretty sure everything was just a test. A bit weird, but the more he talked to Martin the more he understood why Shawna was the way that she was regarding her secret.

Watching Shawna come down the stairs, there was a small smirk on his face as he saw her with what might’ve been one of the most gorgeous dresses he’d seen. He gave a small wave back, before walking over to the Josis. [color=53F0FF]“Alright, shall we head out, Shawna? After you, ladies first after all.”[/color]

[color=e81b00]“So polite!”[/color] Shawna commented as her father looked on. Martin allowed a knowing nod as the two teenagers moved towards the front hall. [color=e81b00]“I’ll let you know when we head back, Dad!”[/color] 

[color=silver]“See that you do! I will be a nervous wreck until I know you are safe!”[/color]

[color=e81b00]“OK!”[/color] Shawna led Jack towards the door. [color=e81b00]“Let’s go,”[/color] she said quickly under her breath.

Leading Shawna out of the house, Jack quickly darted over to his car, before pulling the passenger door open for her. [color=53F0FF]“Feel free to pull the seat up a bit if it’s too far back. I don’t know who’s been in this car, Shawna.”[/color] Jack smirked, before closing the door after she got in.

[color=e81b00]“Well, that’s comforting,”[/color] Shawna commented as she held her dress so she could slide into the Viper. She could finally drop the shy, innocent act now that she was safely in the car.

It wasn’t long before Jack climbed into the driver’s seat, and set off.

Shawna looked over at the man who just took an inquisition for her with an empathetic tone on her face. [color=e81b00]“Thank you for sitting through all that,”[/color] she said, a tone of remorse present. [color=e81b00]“I swear, he doesn’t even sound like that normally. Pretty sure he just puts on the Nazi accent to scare anyone he doesn’t trust. He’s gotten so good at it though…”[/color]

[color=53F0FF]“All I’m gonna say, Shawna…”[/color] Jack said, looking over to her momentarily as he drove, [color=53F0FF]“I totally understand.”[/color]

The girl let out a huge sigh. [color=e81b00]“I figured he had to be seen to be believed. That’s why I kinda need you right now. At least until I figure out how the hell I’m going to explain literally everything.”[/color]

[color=53F0FF]“Listen, like I said, I totally understand.”[/color] Jack shrugged, [color=53F0FF]“I thought it was a little weird at first, but after meeting your dad, it makes sense! No offense, of course. But dude is scary.”[/color]

[color=e81b00]“None taken,”[/color] Shawna confirmed. [color=e81b00]“Ever since that Pre-Calc test last June, he’s been watching me closer than ever. The summer was terrible. I told so many lies just to get out of the house. That cruise my parents went on was honestly the best thing that could have happened to me. But, now it’s back to the double life. At least now I have some help.[/color]

Jack shook his head, before seeing a particular something out of the corner of his eye, [color=53F0FF]“I got your back, dude”[/color] Jack winked at Shawna, before looking ahead and squinting, [color=53F0FF]“Wait, yo, is that the country club there? Or am I just tripping?”[/color]

Shawna looked ahead to try and make out what Jack was talking about before the familiar front of Crown Heights Country Club came into view. [color=e81b00]“Yup, that’s the place,”[/color] she affirmed. [color=e81b00]“I can hear Dad bragging about the time he shot an 85 on the golf course from here. Least we got here in one piece.”[/color]

[color=53F0FF]“Perfect. Right on time, aren’t we?”[/color]

Pulling into the parking lot, Jack stuffed his car into a slot, parking it more toward his side so that Shawna had more room to get out. Not that she needed it of course. Putting the top up, Jack quickly got out again, opening the door for Shawna to allow her to get out of the rather low car. [color=53F0FF]“Let’s go turn some heads, yeah?”[/color]

Shawna nodded, definitely feeling in safer hands with Jack then she would have at this point last month. [color=e81b00]“Let’s do the damn thing!”[/color] She punctuated this with a fist in the air as the two made their way towards the lame school dance they were going to work they way through.[/color]