[center][h1][color=tan] Hollow Anger [/color][/h1][/center]

[hr]

It had been days since they arrived in Ha-Dûna and Lucia's spirits were running low. Wherever she went, the swarm of people never disappeared: Whenever she’d move through the market square, the bartering crowds would instantly turn their attention away from the wares and customers to the daughter of the sun - the customers would fall to their knees in prayer while the merchants bombarded her with baskets and pots of food and drink, heaps of furs and textiles, and every the occasional live goat or stag; whenever Lucia would go to the outskirts, the farmers would drop their tools to the ground and run up to her to praise her and her mother, showering her in whatever they had, whether it be their harvest, livestock or family relics; whenever Lucia would go to the inner town, the one spot she might be safe from most of the common folk, she would be shadowed by druids eager to serve and wait on her every breath.

She had thought she had grown used to such attention but little by little it was beginning to break her down. It was hard to find a moment to just breath. The constant stream of people in need, who wanted to converse, to thank her for being who she was, it was all so draining. And somewhere along the way, she had lost Sanya, or knowing Sanya, she didn’t want to be around so many people and Lucia couldn’t blame her. Still… It would have been nice if she tagged along. If only the druids could see past her! Sanya was even more so a ‘Helgen’ then she could ever be but that was a secret shared between them. 

Lucia would never betray her friend like that. She couldn’t. Because she knew the truth about Sanya, a shared memory, so long ago. She was angrier then and Lucia had been scared, but a bond was forged nonetheless. They barely got to see each other since she had arrived. Only brief snippets of conversation before Lucia was whisked away by the druids and Sanya disappeared into the crowds. 

She snapped back to reality briefly. She was on another tour, led by Pinya and flanked by several more she didn't know the names of. They wandered around the inner town, telling her about it, but Lucia’s mind went elsewhere again. She could feel it inside, an old enemy returning. One of longing and frustration. Negativity and anger. Slowly and surely, like a cold knife being plunged into her heart, it came stripping all to numbness. She hid behind her smiles, forced to be genuine, when all she wanted to do was cry. It was good and well that no one knew that her tattoos were ingrained to her emotional state. They weren't just there to shimmer but rather, tell a story. Today, they were as she felt, small and diminutive. Shimmering slightly everytime someone conversed with her but they were duller than usual.

The druids, they talked about wanting to reunite her with Megzhaal, her love. Yet no one ever bothered to ask her if she wanted to be reunited. He was her love, yes but his voice had faded from her mind. There were no more poems, no more songs. He had been there by her side after his banishment and for centuries did he keep her company but slowly and surely, Megzhaal retreated into the depths of his realm and his responses became… Foreign... Until nothing at all. That had been… five decades ago? Six? She did not know. It was after the fall of… Solaria at least.

All she knew was that talking about it still brought about similar feelings when she had lost both her Love and her mother. Feelings so dark and crushing- Only time made them subside and time brought them back. Here and there, now and again. A feeling of hopelessness, of bleak prospects. Like the ocean, pressing her down into black depths. There was no escape, no light at the end of the tunnel.

She knew what triggered it. 

For Ha-Dûna was bustling with life, love, happiness - things she did not deserve. Or was she just… sick of them? She had never met a town so content, so blissful and full of peace. They all knew their purposes and who they would spend the rest of their lives with and have so many children with. Why was she so important to them when they had all of this? All she did was help those when they needed help, she didn’t ask for anything in return, why did that make her so special? Was it the tattoos? Was it the halo? Was it her eyes? Her face? Her hair? Couldn’t she just disappear for a time? 

She had tried that though, hadn’t she?

It never worked. 

She had to help people, it was just who she was, but still… She didn't deserve anything. She had seen so much pain and suffering. It went on and on over the years. There was no depth cruelty could not fall to and it broke her. She had bore witness to all of it and by some miracle, survived each time. Why did she get to live while so many others had their lives snuffed out? She had learned early on her own, that life simply wasn't fair. There were good moments in the sea of bad, happy memories she held onto tightly. People and faces she would never forget and honor even if others had forgotten. She enjoyed people, after all.

Yet now, all she wanted to do was be alone, just to cry. Just to breath! But Lucia remained walking, a smile on her face. She took some small solace in the fact the day was ending and maybe she'd get to talk to Sanya. She knew her mother would listen and share her sympathy but her mother could never know how she truly felt. It would destroy Oraelia. Lucia could hardly imagine what she would feel and she did not want to. No, she would talk to Sanya, even open up to her because Sanya would sense her emotions. There was no hiding it. She told herself that that night would be the one they catch up in. It had to be.

They passed by a hexagonal hut with a tent roof, through which top and wall cracks oozed clouds of thick, smelly smoke. One woman came walking out and sat down on the entrance step, a long pipe in hand and a smile about her relaxed lips. She looked at Lucia and barely seemed to react, although after a few seconds, her smile broadened and she lifted her pipe in greeting. Kaer Pinya, who was leading Lucia’s entourage stopped at the sight of the lady and grinned back, turning to Lucia.

“Oh, great Lucia, a thought just struck me! How about before we head to the Flynns as planned, we offer you a pipeful of our finest blinkweed? It is our latest fashion here in town.”

[Color=tan]"Why do you call it blinkweed?"[/color] she asked absentmindedly.

“Oh, the smoke stings a bit on the eyes in the beginning, and it makes you all drowsy and warm on the inside. It’s a wonderful experience, and the younglings have been so much more relieved in their studies after it was given to us. Oh, what pleasantries the gods bestow upon us!” She lifted her hands skywards.

Now this caught Lucia's attention. She looked over the woman who held the pipe. She did look relaxed, didn't she? But would it help her? [Color=tan]"Does it dull the mind?"[/color] she followed up.

“We prefer to say ‘expand’,” came a soft addition from one of the other archdruids, a middle-aged man Lucia knew as Kaer Togen.

Lucia frowned for a moment before returning to a neutral expression. [Color=tan]"I'll pass for now but thank you."[/color] she said, forcing a smile at them. Kaer Pinya and Kaer Togen, as well as the four others in her company, all closed in around her.

“Please, oh great one, we insist!”

“Do you think we’re blind to those wrinkles forming around your smile? We work with people every day and can tell when someone’s exhausted.” Kaer Pinya took her by the arm. “Come on now, sweety. It’ll do you good!”

It hit her like a boulder. A feeling of being ignored, told what's best for her. She had had enough. Her tattoos flared up and pushed Pinya away from Lucia, then flicked the others who surrounded her in the chest, shoving them away. She then said loudly, [color=tan]"I said no! And if you knew I was exhausted then you would let me just breathe for a moment! I'm going to my room, don't follow me. Don't come knock on the door. Just let me have the rest of the day to myself!"[/color] and before any of them could respond, Lucia took off in a dead sprint. The six of them exchanged desperate looks of confusion, proceeding to jog on after her.

Wherever Lucia ran, whoever was nearby turned to look and greet her. Florists threw flowers after her; farmers threw grain. As she reached the house she and Sanya stayed at, the finest resthouse in town, typically reserved only for the archdruids, the guards at the doorway jumped aside to dodge her charge. Inside, a few other archdruids turned to see her, eyes blinking in bepuzzlement.

“Great Lucia, what are you doing here, pray tell?”

She had to think of something fast. Her voice was shaky when she proclaimed, [Color=tan]"Reiya uh, requires my presence! I must be alone till tomorrow. Do not disturb me or you disturb Reiya! Bar anyone from attempting to see me save Sanya!"[/color] she said before hustling to her room. She hated doing that but in this instance, he mother would approve. As she ran towards her room, the archdruid who had spoken went, “But! Great Lucia, wait! There are--!”

When she neared her chambers, she noticed a line of people leading in through the doorway and back out, with prayers coming from the inside. Her heart sank further as she realized what was going on. Why they kept her away from her room all day. She was mortified. She held her head as she leaned with her back to the wall. This wasn't happening, she told herself over and over. As she turned the corner to look inside, she saw the people walking along the walls of her chamber in a counter-clockwise direction, their right hands gently stroking over various objects she would come into contact with - her chair, her table, her bed, her chamberpot. They all had their eyes closed, and some would occasionally suck in gasps of breath as through divinity entered them with the touch of every object. In the centre stood a trio of druids singing the spiritsongs of the sun in her glory. 

Anger boiled in Lucia, replacing the low she felt with unbridled rage. [Color=tan]"Shame…"[/color] she whispered at first. [Color=tan]"Have you no shame!"[/color] she shouted shoving her way into her room. The three druids turned and bowed.

“G-great Lucia, if we have done anything to offend you--!”

[Color=tan]"Get out! Out out out!"[/color] she said pointing to the doorway. [Color=tan]"You've betrayed my trust, you've violated my privacy and you've lost my favor!"[/color] she said, angry tears flooding down her twisted face. She frantically began to grab her things and began stuffing them into her pack. [Color=tan]"If this is what means to be a Helgen then I refuse! I'm a person! Not some object of worship!"[/color] she said out loud, before shoving her way out of the room again and into the hallway. She needed to leave. The druids looked heartbroken.

“B-but we merely meant to praise you and your mother’s glory, great Lucia!” Meanwhile, the others were heading out. 

She turned to face the one she spoke and said, [color=tan]"If you think Oraelia would want you to violate her daughter's privacy to praise her, not even to mention myself and how I feel about it- Then you'd be wrong!"[/color] and on that note she spun around and made a hasty retreat to the exit. In the hallway, she bumped into Kaer Pinya, Kaer Togen and the others, all of whom appeared to have heard the commotion. Kaer Pinya reached out with a frightened frown on her face.

“My dear, please! Know that they didn’t mean it to be unpleasant for you - none of us have intended so!” she pleaded.

Lucia's tattoos prevented Pinya's touch with a careful flick. [Color=tan]"I don't care what you thought! If you want to worship, then worship the gods! Not me! Everyday you've held me on some platter not once asking how I felt or if I wanted to be praised! And yet you treat Sanya like she doesn't even exist! My mother sees all as equal! Pray to her for forgiveness because I'm done."[/color] she said pushing past them.

The druids looked at one another, completely baffled. As Lucia left the building, one of them asked, “Who is Sanya?”

That sentence came like a blow, but instead of turning around and confronting the person she kept on walking. Those too blinded by faith, only saw what they wanted to appease their gods. She kept on walking and she didn't look back.

[hider=summary]
Lucia post. Her mindset and mood are explored while she struggled to be what the druids think she is. She’s getting depressed because of it, but she’s used to such a feeling(backstory). She misses Sanya, who she hasn’t been able to talk to for days because of the fanatical obsession of the druids. This comes to a boiling point when they tell her to try something and she says no and then they insist. She snaps and goes on a mini rant before running off to her room. When she shows up, expecting some peace and quiet, she stumbles upon druids who are legit revering her room and everything she’s touched in it. This does nothing to improve her mood and Lucia freaks out and right there decides to leave Ha-Duna. She leaves to go find Sanya.
[/hider]

[hider=Prestige]
Lucia
Starting 10

13kchars = +5

Ending with 15

[/hider]