When Iris said she was cold, Cas responded immediately by unzipping the jacket he’d been wearing. Slipping it off his shoulders, he was slightly chilly, but he wasn’t cold enough to be seriously bothered by the weather. It was better for him to be mildly uncomfortable if it meant she would be warm. She was the one who needed the extra layers to break her fever, after all. He was pretty sure she was feeling cold because of the chills. So, he passed the hoodie over to her to put on, [color=#b97703]“Take it. I don’t need it right now, and you still need to keep warm so you can get better.”[/color]

As she thanked him for forcing her to eat earlier, he nodded, [color=#b97703]“You’re welcome.”[/color] He knew he would do it again if he had to. While he had been partly invested in her health because he’d wanted to hurry back to the capital, he had to admit that he also genuinely cared when she was feeling unwell. He didn’t want to see her like that, shivering, feverish, and generally uncomfortable because of whatever illness had taken over her body. He also didn’t want to see her get worse by not taking proper care of herself.

Picking up his water to take one more sip, he hesitated at her following question. Honestly, he didn’t know how to answer her. He wanted to say he was fine because he had made it out of the wreckage in one piece and had only broken down once at the apartment, but that probably wasn’t the truth. It was more likely that the full weight of it all just hadn’t hit him yet, and it was going to be a shit show when it finally did. He shuddered at the thought. It was kind of insane just how much they had been through in less than eight hours. He’d seen the bloody aftermath of a battle for the first time, somehow wound up in the apartment that had belonged to two of the corpses he’d seen and had almost been buried alive by said apartment in a bombing. He couldn’t say he was “fine” without lying to himself and to her.

On top of everything, he was now more convinced than he ever had been before that his father couldn’t have cared less about what became of him. If he did, he wouldn’t have given the military clearance to launch those bombers in the first place. That was all the proof he’d needed that his life was insignificant to the people in the capital. Now, he didn’t even know if he should go back to them, and he felt torn between his duties and his desire to do choose a path that would make him happy.

[color=#b97703]“I know, and I really appreciate that you’re here,”[/color] he exhaled heavily. Part of him didn’t want to involve her in his problems, but he was also desperate to talk to someone else who could give him an outside perspective. He was worried that he would make the wrong decision if he tried to deal with it alone. [color=#b97703]“I’m just… confused, I guess,”[/color] he started slowly, trying to piece his jumbled thoughts together into some kind of coherent statement. [color=#b97703]“I thought that when I was abducted, my dad would turn over every stone in the country to find me, but no one ever showed up at your dad’s house, and now it looks like the war hasn’t even been put on pause while I’m still missing. It feels like he doesn’t care whether I come home or not, and I’m just wondering…”[/color] He trailed off with a sigh before going on softly: [color=#b97703]“I’m starting to question if there’s even a reason for me to go back.[/color]

[color=#b97703]“I’ve always seen the capital as my home, but I’d never left it before. Now I’m beginning to realize just how shallow all my relationships were. I don’t know if I want to go back to that. Not when—” [i]Not when I have you,[/i][/color] he wanted to say but held his tongue. Seeking her gaze, he frowned, feeling conflicted. [color=#b97703]“What do you think I should do, Iris?”[/color]