As Iris took his hands, Cas dropped his gaze, biting his lower lip. He knew that she was speaking the truth, but it was hard for him to truly grasp the meaning when the capital had been his home for twenty-four years. That was why the thoughts passing through his head now were so frightening. He felt trapped between two less than perfect options. Either he could go back to what was familiar with the new knowledge that he’d been misguided for over two decades, or he could give up on his friends and family completely and make a new life for himself somewhere else. In both cases, he would be losing something important to him. He hoped that she could speak into the mess at least a little to help him make up his mind about what he should choose to do.

However, it seemed like she wasn’t going to give him an out that easily. He deflated slightly when she went on to say that he was going to have to make his own decision. Perhaps if he’d been more secure in his ability to make good choices, he wouldn’t have cared, but it was hard for him to feel confident when he’d gone most of his life without any assurance from his father that he had been on the right track. He was worried that he was going to pick the wrong option and live to regret it.

Going back to the capital, while less than ideal, would have put him back on the path toward becoming Aspiria’s next king. Even though he didn’t love the thought of taking over, it was important because his father had no other heirs. If he didn’t return, there was no telling what would happen to the country when Atlas inevitably passed. On the flip side, if he didn’t go home, he would finally be free from the responsibilities and expectations that had been placed on him by everyone in the capital. He could be with Iris, and he could form new friendships with people who might care more about him than the people he had grown close with before. But he would also never see his father or his friends ever again. He wished the choice was easier.

Although Iris tried to be optimistic, Cas couldn’t agree with her. [color=#b97703]“I don’t want to believe it, but why else would he have sent those planes?”[/color] he asked rhetorically, looking up to meet her blue eyes again. [color=#b97703]“My dad is the one who approves every move the military makes. If they had been sent as a warning, they would have just flown by without dropping any bombs. It wasn’t a threat; it was an attack, plain and simple. He’s continuing the war instead of waiting to make sure I get home first.”[/color] As he said it out loud, he felt even more certain that he was right. Knowing that his own father would jeopardize his safety made him feel hollow inside, and he barely registered that Iris had placed a hand on his shoulder.

[color=#b97703]“Thanks,”[/color] he said quietly. He didn’t feel much better than he had before he’d opened up to her, but he was grateful that she was willing to support him. God knew he needed a friend right now. He just wished they could be more than that. She was the kindest person he’d ever met, and he longed to be closer to her than ‘just friends.’ He just couldn’t open that door when they would be parting ways soon. [color=#b97703][i]But will we actually be saying goodbye?[/i][/color] He paused as he chewed on the thought. Right now, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to go home anymore. Even if he did, he was so frustrated and hurt by his father that he didn’t want to follow his rules. No matter what happened, he didn’t want to lose the one person who had stood by him through thick and thin and who had saved his life on more than one occasion. Where was the justice in that?

[color=#b97703]“Actually, no,”[/color] he shook his head, studying her face with new resolve. [color=#b97703]“You shouldn’t be in the background. I’m sorry I was such a coward earlier, but I know now that that’s not what I want… I want [i]you[/i], Iris.”[/color] To leave no shadow of a doubt that he’d made up his mind, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers in a fervent kiss.