[center][h1][i][color=tan]Matters of the Heart[/color][/i][/h1][/center] [hr] Though the rolling hills and steep pathways through difficult terrain had long since put it out of view, Ha-Dûna still refused to leave either of the two travelers' minds. Almost an entire day had passed, carried out almost entirely in solemn silence and determined, stiff march across the highlands. Sanya seemed implacable, taking steadily paced steps even up the steepest inclines. Furthermore, she’d insisted on carrying almost all of their packing, and did not seem particularly bothered after a full day of walking. At least not by physical exercise - there was no denying she was as quiet as usual, or perhaps more so. They’d escaped in a hurry, with Sanya sneaking back into the village to gather up their things. She had insisted the druids hadn’t made a ruckus about it, but she also hadn’t been able to retrieve everything Lucia had brought with her to the village. With the sun starting to touch the hills in the distance for the second time since they left Ha-Dûna, it was no longer a battle worth fighting. Instead they wandered without much in the way of direction over yet another stony meadow, having wandered off the natural beaten path after a brief but unwanted encounter with yet more druids. Lucia was quiet too, she spoke of no more stories and her tattoos were diminutively small. Even her halo seemed to be a bit dull. She continued walking for a ways, before stopping in the middle of the meadow. Her traveling cloak billowed about her in the breeze as she looked down. [color=tan]”We should make camp.”[/color] she said unenthusiastically. Her voice sounding drained- mellow. Sanya came to a slow halt, the dark-haired warrior scanning the horizon as she rested her spear on the ground. Ever the watchful and stoic sort, she replied with a simple [color=a187be]”Alright,”[/color] before starting to off-load what supplies they had on and around the flattest and largest rock she could find. It was a solemn affair, with Sanya operating more as a dutiful servant than a traveling companion. Looking for possible tinder, rationing up food, seeing about making a shelter out of what they had available; each task followed the other like rote movement, ingrained survival behavior that needed no input. Though she didn’t say anything, it was clear that she expected to do everything relating to physical work. Lucia looked at Sanya with a blank expression. [color=tan]”Can I help with anything?”[/color] she asked. [color=tan]”You don’t have to do everything, you know… It’s already enough that you’re carrying my stuff and yours.”[/color] It was enough to give Sanya pause, and the woman ran a hand up to her face to scrub at the side of her temple as she narrowed her eyes at the small camp, such as it was. Her gaze flicked over to Lucia, and then skidded back to the camp thoughtfully. She shrugged. [color=a187be]”Start a fire, maybe?”[/color] she eventually pressed out before going on to another task in silence. [color=tan]”S-Sure thing.”[/color] she said, trying to force a smile at Sanya, who wasn’t looking. Lucia went out, trying to find any source of tinder. Being in a meadow didn’t really help but she looked regardless. Her mind was abuzz with thoughts lately, ever since they had been traveling. She just wanted to be seen as a person, was that so hard? Now Sanya was doing all the work, not even talking to her- but then again, she wasn’t starting any conversation either. She paused, bending down to pick up a small stick. She looked around, but the stick was alone. Alone. She sat down and put her head between her knees, staring at the stick. She’d been alone for a long time, hadn’t she? She wondered what sort of wind had brought this stick so far from home, out into a place where it was surrounded by grass and rock. What a sad little stick. A tear plopped down into her hand and she forced it away, by rubbing her eyes fiercely. She got back up and searched for anything else, but it was useless. There were no other sticks and she wasn’t about to go off to find where they might be. She walked back to camp, head low as she arrived. She walked over to Sanya and showed her the stick. [color=tan]”It was all alone.”[/color] she said, looking at her. Sanya, sat knelt before the flat rock with their supplies, blinked as she was torn out of sorting their supplies to first look at the solitary stick with confusion. [color=a187be]”I should have some softwood in my pack, still-...”[/color] she began, trailing off as her gaze wandered up Lucia’s arm and to her face. The expression on her face softened gently, to that sorrowful sympathy that had taken centuries to wipe out of her eyes in the first place. She clasped a hand around the lonely stick as if to take it off Lucia’s hands. [color=a187be]”I can take care of it, if you want.”[/color] [color=tan]”Thank you, Sanya.”[/color] Lucia said softly, looking away as she let the stick go. She then stood silently for a moment, awkwardly shuffling before going to the opposite side of their small camp where she sat down. She picked up a blade of grass and began to fiddle with it between her fingers, sometimes looking at Sanya as she worked, other times at the grass blade. She didn’t know what she was doing anymore but Ha-Dûna was still on her mind. Looking at the blade of grass, she spoke aloud, [color=tan]”Do you think I was too harsh on them? The druids? I can’t… I can’t get their faces out of my head. The look of shock, the betrayal. Is this what it means to be a Helgen? I shouldn’t say that… I know people are like that when they see me. They think I’m some… Savior, that I can’t do any wrong.”[/color] She looked up to gaze upon Sanya. [color=tan]”Can’t they just see that I… I just help people not for fame or fortune, but because they need help, or guidance or or or… Because it’s the right thing to do? I don’t deserve their titles, I don’t want them, I just want people to do the right thing. Is that so hard? Why is that so hard? And then they keep forcing this belief that I need to be reunited with…”[/color] her voice abruptly cut off as she took a deep breath and pulled her knees tight to her chest. Sanya was diligent as ever, quick to dig through her own packing in search for the alleged softwood. The frown on her lips was intense, a mixture of determination and imminent frustration. It wasn’t until Lucia stopped speaking that the guarded warrior paused in the middle of building a ring of small rocks. She closed her eyes and exhaled briefly, before standing up to close the distance between them. The dark-haired woman fell down to sit on her knees beside her companion. [color=a187be]”They do not decide who you are, Lucia,”[/color] she began, extending a hand to place it on Lucia’s arm in a gentle touch of compassion. [color=a187be]”If we let others decide who we are, we are no better than the wild stories they make up about the gods.”[/color] Sanya sighed quietly. [color=a187be]”You’re already stronger and better at this than I could ever be. Sometimes, it just gets too real.”[/color] Lucia looked up slowly to meet Sanya’s gaze. Her tattoo’s pulsing around where they touched. She shook her head after a moment. [color=tan]”You’re far stronger than I am Sanya. Physically and mentally.”[/color] she gave a wry smile. [color=tan]”But you are right, I shouldn’t let what they think… Bother me, but it’s just so… So hard. I know you can feel how I feel Sanya… And for that, I’m sorry. These feelings… They come in waves every now and then and… This one’s bad.”[/color] her voice choked up. [color=tan]”You’re a good friend, better then I am to you.”[/color] she said softly, looking away. [color=a187be]”I don’t know,”[/color] Sanya began with a soft tone of her own, appearing to have the wherewithal not to be sarcastic - perhaps simply affected by Lucia’s own emotions. [color=a187be]”There isn’t anyone I’ve ever met that I’d rather spend my time around.”[/color] She gave Lucia’s arm a gentle squeeze before withdrawing her hand, though remaining sat peacefully at her side. [color=a187be]”If you never felt this way, we never would have met back then. Trust me, keeping it inside is… not good for you.”[/color] she eventually conceded with a thoughtful tone. Lucia looked at her again, saying nothing. She then looked forward and leaned her head onto Sanya’s shoulder. Her halo dissipated, forming a soft glow up in the air above them, almost a king to fireflies. Lucia sighed contentedly. [color=tan]”I can say the same. There’s only a few I know who’ve stood the test of time, barely…”[/color] she said as a whisper. She shut her eyes for a moment, breathing in softly as her tattoos fluttered. Sanya was a good person, and an even better friend. Her words touched her greatly and she realized slowly, that there truly wasn’t anyone else that she enjoyed to be around as much as Sanya. So why then, did they always leave each other? [color=tan]”Sanya?”[/color] she said, [color=tan]”Why did we… Always go our separate ways?”[/color] she asked thoughtfully, a hint of sorrow in her voice. There was a considerable lull in the conversation. At first the dark-haired warrior seemed unable to produce a reply, and instead reacted to the building atmosphere of sadness by gently leaning her own head against Lucia’s. She sighed softly, reluctant words escaping her, [color=a187be]”I-... We always have something to do. You have your life, people hovering around you eager to hear your wisdom. That strange orb. I’m just a restless soul, wandering.”[/color] Lucia could feel the gentle shift as Sanya lifted her hand to rub at her temple. [color=a187be]”You’re usually so happy, when I go. I don’t want to be a chain.”[/color] Her heart began to beat a little faster as she listened. She winced at Sanya’s last sentence, and then said, [color=tan]”Sanya… You’re not a chain.”[/color] she said, becoming misty eyed, her voice full of emotion. [color=tan]”When you leave… I- I find myself missing you. But I… I never say anything because… Because… Why didn’t I ever say anything?”[/color] she said, sounding stunned. [color=tan]”I’m so sorry, Sanya. You make me happy too, you know?”[/color] she said shakely, holding back tears. [color=tan]”How’s that for wisdom? I can’t even see what’s right in front of me, half the time. I’ve been so alone for so long… I had forgotten what this felt like- This… Talking.”[/color] she said at last. Sanya unleashed something akin to a scoff at first, soft and without any real contempt. Her arm wrestled aside in their lean, and Lucia soon felt it wrap around her shoulder and back in an unspoken extension of shared comfort. [color=a187be]”I tend to remember,”[/color] Sanya offered with a little more confidence, that deadpan tone finding its footing after a moment of deliberation. [color=a187be]”You are the only person who gets on my nerves without making me angry.”[/color] She sighed after a moment of hesitation. [color=a187be]”That sounded really dumb. I’m sorry. I guess it’s a long time since we just sat down. Even then, I guess I don’t-... say a lot.”[/color] [color=tan]”No, but you listen, Sanya.”[/color] Lucia quickly said before pausing for a moment. Her tattoo’s were pulsing now, for she felt safe in that embrace. It was a pleasant feeling, one she had missed sorely. [color=tan]”It’s okay… You don’t have to be sorry. I’ve been inconsiderate to you, thinking you’d be okay with my absence… Especially back there… You have every right to be angry with me, I’ve been a terrible friend to you.”[/color] she said, sucking in a breath. [color=a187be]”Ha-Dûna sure was something,”[/color] Sanya acknowledged with a quiet mutter of her own. [color=a187be]”But being angry at you for going along with their wishes is like being angry at the sun for setting. It’s in your blood. Kind-hearted and open to all. Most.”[/color] she concluded with a considerable calm. A brief sigh, and a gentle shift of her hand on Lucia’s shoulder in a gentle clap of compassion. [color=a187be]”You are a ray of sunshine on every life you touch, Lucia. I never considered such a life would not always be pleasant for you. So perhaps it is I who is terrible.”[/color] Lucia moved her body closer to Sanya as she shifted slightly. [color=tan]”No, you aren’t terrible. I just… I see people that need help and I put them first.”[/color] she took a breath. [color=tan]”So when my problems build up, I shove them down to distract myself and eventually, they all catch up and I… Get like this. You were there for me when I needed someone so long ago and since then… I just… Tried to deal with it myself… To varying levels. I don’t like to be a burden on people. It was easier with…”[/color] her voice faded as she remembered how Megzhaal would talk to her during her bouts of depression. He had helped too. No more though. The silence hung in the air for a considerable time, Lucia given time to sit with her thoughts with Sanya close by. Or perhaps the warrioress had thoughts of her own. Eventually Sanya broke the silence with a contemplative thought spoken aloud. [color=a187be]”How long has it been since you two spoke?”[/color] Lucia said nothing for a moment. A gnawing sensation grew in her heart as she gulped and shifted again. [color=tan]”It’s been… Decades, I guess. Even before that… he had become distant, no longer so… There, if you know what I mean. And now that I know my mother is back, why hasn’t he said anything? Where is he?”[/color] she said, her voice growing agitated. [color=tan]”He was my love. He always told me to be happy, that I shouldn’t just wait for him, but how could I not? Now I realize the folly of my own words, as the druids seek to reunite us, as they talk about him like they know him. No one ever asks me if I want to be reunited with him. They just assume that I’m still love stricken but I… I’m not… I don’t even know what love is. I saw all their happy faces, Sanya. With so many families and children and pure joy and I… I do not deserve it.”[/color] she said, tears flowing down her face. A shaky sigh escaped her companions lips, no doubt stricken by the emotions Lucia herself felt. [color=a187be]”Don’t say that,”[/color] she eventually replied, voice fighting to stay even. [color=a187be]”It isn’t true. The way you used to talk about him. The way your eyes lit up when someone said his name. How long you’ve waited.”[/color] Sanya took a long breath, shifting in their gentle embrace without moving too much. [color=a187be]”...Even if you no longer feel that way, Lucia, it appears to me like you’ve experienced love like no other. I-.. Well.. Perhaps his silence is his wicked courtesy? To let you find happiness again?”[/color] Her eyes slowly widened as she listened to Sanya, the gnawing at her heart finally easing away. She did not want it to be true, but Sanya was right. She was right. So caught up with what was, Lucia had never even attempted to find hap- Wait, that wasn’t true. She had found happiness, a lot of it along the way. She had just been blinded to what it was. Was it truly was. She lifted her head up, forcing Sanya to move her own. Lifting her gaze, she found Sanya was already looking at her, and Lucia spoke softly, [color=tan]”It’s what he wanted all along, isn’t it?”[/color] she said, her golden eyes full of regret. There was a certain sorrow in Sanya’s eyes in turn, a tint of pain that had etched itself deep under millennia of duress. It was hard to tell if Sanya was ever happy - even when she smiled it seemed not to reflect the same level of emotion in her eyes - and even in this moment she looked unhappy, vulnerable even. Lucia had never seen her cry, yet she often looked as though she’d cried all night. Only the fact that she was not frowning, instead a mellow part of her lips in a soft pout, tipped her hand. [color=a187be]”I think you should care more about what you want, Lucia. You’ve suffered at the whim of others long enough.”[/color] she eventually pressed out. Slowly a small smile formed on her lips as Lucia teared up. Without saying anything she attacked Sanya with a fierce hug and squeezed her tightly. Her tattoos warmed slightly as they frantically shimmered and pulsed. Eventually she whispered into her ear, [color=tan]"Thank you."[/color] but did not let go. She felt Sanya’s arms slowly lift to reciprocate the embrace properly, a small amount of the woman’s strength still being a tight and comforting hold. Lucia melted into the touch, her tattoos fluttering as she nestled her head into Sanya's chest. They sat in silence for a time, and Sanya gently leant her head against Lucias’. The normally tense warrior seemed to relax in that shared embrace, and Lucia could hear her slow and long breaths as she allowed herself to truly stay in the moment. She could hear her heartbeat too, beating strong. Eventually, Sanya parted her lips to break the silence. [color=a187be]”Maybe we should just leave the north,”[/color] she said with a soft, even mellow tone. [Color=tan]"Leave the North? Like… Go south? Or east? I haven't been home in awhile…"[/color] she said sleepily, finding herself very comfortable. Sanya hummed a thoughtful and distant reply at first, a pleasant quiver of her throat and chest, that soon rose with a longer breath. [color=a187be]”I don’t know-... A break from the attention. Some place where no one cares who either of us are.”[/color] Lucia's embrace slowly grew weaker as the seconds went by, [Color=tan]"So…"[/color] she yawned, [color=tan]"South then…"[/color] she mumbled, eyes drifting shut. [color=a187be]”South sounds good,”[/color] Sanya’s voice returned with a hypnotizing calm. [color=a187be]”I know the paths down there like the back of my hand.”[/color] She sighed, a gentle caress of her hand on Lucia’s back as she kept talking quietly. [color=a187be]”I haven’t been to my old home in ages. Heh. Last time I was there, a little boy told me he’d be a chieftain one day. I guess he’d have grandchildren by now. Maybe he did become chief.”[/color] There came no reply from Lucia, in fact she had fallen asleep upon Sanya, so tired and worn out as she was. Her breathing deepened and upon the corner of her lips was a soft smile. Sanya sat silent for a while, giving Lucia a gentle stroke on the back. In the peace of silence, she managed a genuine, fond smile of her own. [hr] [hider=Summary] Lucia is in low spirits and Sanya is doing all of the work as they venture about a day put from the druid village. Lucia eventually breaks down/opens up to Sanya and the two have a long discussion and much feelings are had and set free. Lucia learns a lot and then peacefully falls asleep on Sanya. [/hider] [hider=MP/DP] Do you think they’re gods, or something? Chill. [/hider] [hider=Prestige] Sanya: 4 Prestige +5 (10k+ chars) = 9 Prestige Total Remaining: 9. [hr] Lucia: 20 Prestige +5 (10k+ chars) = 25 Prestige Total Remaining: 25. [/hider]