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Everything was pitch black, but Penny knew she was back inside of that godforsaken mountain. Slowly she turned, and a fraying rope bridge lit by an impossible source was hanging in the void around her. Penny tried closing her eyes. She knew what was next and she didn’t want to see it again, but the black was behind her eyelids and the bridge came with it. She knew it wasn’t real but had to be certain. Penny took a quarter from her pocket, flipped it, and never looked at the result. She saw a shimmer of blue light on the other side of the bridge and ran towards it. She’d be too late. She always was.The blue light solidified into a dagger, and Penny let out a silent scream as the conjured blade disappeared and reappeared dyed red with blood. She stepped wrong and dropped through a hole in the bridge. As she fell, the black began to glow a brilliant orange light.

[color=goldenrod]“Shit!”[/color] screamed Penny as she hit the carpet and her eyes shot open, the overhead chandelier glowing with its dim light above her. Penny laid there for a moment in a daze before propping herself up with her hands and looked around. There wasn’t much she could see from down there on the velvet carpet beside a handful of large, sturdy tables lining with stools surrounding her and lights flashing around overhead, but she heard a cacophony of bells, whistles, and jingles. There was a lingering odor of stale cigarettes. A casino? Penny stood up. A casino. She was in a lake of poker tables surrounded by an ocean of slot machines, each one playing attract noises, dotted by a few islands of roulette and craps. Penny tilted her head. She had always wanted to go to a casino, but by the time she was old enough everything had fallen to shit.

Plus the last thing she remembered was that they had been in a replica of her hometown kissing pond, and now she was very much alone. She whipped around and called out for Zoey, but her voice didn’t carry far past the [i]Ding Ding Ding[/i] of the slots. She took in a deep breath to center herself, and pulled out a quarter. She flipped it several times, checking each time to make sure the details on the back were the same. It passed. She checked her phone. It failed—still no service and no wifi, but at some point while she was out it had updated to say [i]Weather In[/i] followed by a glitching interface. Penny exhaled deeply. Was this going to keep happening?

And would there be another Apparition?

With that thought in mind, Penny stocked up. She pushed a stack of clay poker chips into her satchel and hit up the Keno parlor for a stash of pens and paper. Her next stop was the bar, although she wasn't there for a drink. She took a heavy cloth napkin and rolled up whatever paring knives she could find and—oh, fuck it, she grabbed a fresh bottle of pineapple flavored vodka. Penny saw a massive fountain surrounded by a small garden, and she correctly assumed it was the entrance. She walked up to the velvet-padded double doors. There were no windows showing the outside, an old casino trick to make people not realize how long they’d been gambling for, but she assumed she was going to be walking out into a snowing city street at night.

She was right about snowing and night. The other variables blew her mind. A cruise ship? She was on a cruise ship? Penny ran across the deck to the nearest railing. Below her was a deck of pools and slides, and around her was the dark waters of an ocean. In the distance, highlighted by a moon peeking through the snow clouds, was the dark towers and bright lights of the city. She pulled her orange cardigan tightly around her. She had to find the others, but it’d be insane to search all over the massive ship for them. She headed to the front of her deck, walking past a wall printed with giant impact font that read [i][b]P A R A D I S E     C R U I S E S[/b][/i] and she shook her head and muttered. She was looking for the bridge which, unlike the restaurants, casinos, pools, and shops, wasn’t advertised with hanging signs and arrows. 

At the front of the deck was a room for authorized personnel only, which meant Penny. She grabbed the handle and naturally it was locked. There was a card reader next to the door. Yeah, she was about to go hunting for a rogue keycard. She pulled out a permanent marker and drew a large earth glyph on the door and then stepped to the side as she activated it. There was an awful sound of screeching and twisting metal as the glyph pushed the inner part of the door out to the edge, leaving Penny with a large enough hole that she could easily step through and into the bridge room. The large windows gave a beautiful view of the snowy horizon and, naturally, there was nobody piloting the massive ship. Penny crossed her fingers for no icebergs. The water was probably freezing.

She searched the room until she found what she had come for: the intercom. Penny picked up the corded mic and plopped down in what she was going to call the captain’s chair. She kicked her feet up on the dash, careful not to press any buttons or flip and switches, and twirled the cord with a finger. She pressed the button on the side of the mic and said, [color=goldenrod]“Test, test?”[/color] It was soon followed by a [color=goldenrod]“Hell yeah!”[/color] as she heard the sound of her own voice from outside the bridge room as it played through the ship’s entire speaker system. Ideally, everyone would hear her message. 

[color=goldenrod]“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh-ttention all passengers!”[/color] Penny found it impossible not to ham up an announcer voice on the radio. [color=goldenrod]“This is Captain Penny speaking of the USS Shitshow, coming to you live from Paradise Radio. Could all human-bodied passengers please make their way up to the bridge on Deck B? I repeat, all human-bodied passengers to the bridge on Deck B.”[/color]

She paused and spied a captain’s hat hanging on the wall. She was already playing the part, might as well look it. Penny jumped out of the chair, yanked the cap from the hook, and crowned itself upon her head. Perfect, she looked like an asshole. She sunk back into the captain’s chair and pushed the talk button on the mic. 

[color=goldenrod]“Thiiiiiiiiis is your Captain speaking! To any of you who just tried responding to me, that isn’t how it works and you’re a moron,”[/color] said Penny. [color=goldenrod]“Now get your asses to the bridge, or I’ll find a way to broadcast Jimmy Buffett. I repeat, you will be forced to hear [i]Boat Drinks[/i].”[/color]

Penny spun in her chair and watched the door. Hopefully she wasn't alone.