Locke the pervert...

"Locke saw the elf with the huge fat-sacks approach. Locke wasn't interested in the elf with the giant watermelons strapped to her chest at all. He was much more interested in the summon of the elf with the inflated balloons. He didn't care about the over-developed papaya-sporting elf at all."

I think we all know what Locke's really paying attention to... :3