[@Mao Mao] Hillan and I have had a lengthy discussion and at a minor impasse. Something still feels off about the biography to me, while I appreciate you did address a lot of the initial issues we presented to you on first review, but Hillan likes it, and we both agree that the end product of the sheet - ex-tribal turned ex-warden searching for his desert heritage - is one we like.

So I'm deciding to give you the benefit of the doubt somewhat and accept Gil's revised sheet, as I can't actually put my finger on what it is that's bothering me about the biography, and the rest of your sheet is fine, and I'm halfway there to liking the cohesive whole anyway. So welcome aboard! Chuck him in the characters tab when you get the chance. 

[@Thrash Panda] Hillan and I have also discussed Alden. We like the character but both feel that against the current roster, he stands out a bit and feels like a traditional hero figure among a bunch of survivors, outcasts, exiles, and general non-heroic characters. We think Alden would be a better fit if we agreed to cap his biography at just-after the mine collapse, keeping the disfigurement and devoutness to the Church, but dropping the specialized armour, the bounty-hunting agent angle, and the ceremonial weaponry. We like a disfigured ex-mine worker turned devout worshiper, and feel like that iteration of this character is a better fit than the current final product of the sheet, which feels a bit 'Dungeons&Dragons'-y, if that makes sense.