As much as Brendon knew Ryan, as close as they were, he had never seen and definitely not expected such an enthused response to his messy confession of love. Best case scenario, in all the silly, air-headed daydreams he liked to entertain while they sat watching a movie, or drinking coffee together on the porch in the early morning chill, he’d tell Ryan he loved him and Ryan would be quiet, just as he had been in the real event. Instead of remaining so, though, he’d turn to Brendon; take hold of his hands, all sweet and understated, and maybe smile a little, and say it back. A muted response with the strong feeling there, detectable, but not on his sleeve. That was more in character for the Ryan he knew- but now that he had such a spring to his every movement, a bright intonation to his usually raw-sounding voice, a persistent grin instead of some faint smirk, Brendon realised that there was more to learn about him, and more to love. It was exhilarating, infectious, his nervousness and suspicion dissipating as Ryan ran his fingers through his hair.

When he expressed his confusion at this new side to this usually bitter bastard’s personality, Ryan raised his eyebrows but said nothing. But then he laughed- with the gentleness he was used to. Brendon smiled up at him, an almost dreamy look in his eyes, as Ryan seemed to put thought into finding some kind of mean comment to say. Flattering, really, the length of the pause it took. [i]You were right. You are, in fact, loud as hell from floors away.[/i] Brendon’s grin widened, the corners of his mouth starting to twitch from the strain it took to smile this widely for this long- he just couldn’t help it. [b]“I usually am.”[/b] [i]Doesn’t mean I don’t miss you.[/i] It faded a little, then, as he considered that. For Ryan, that was a big thing to say, even if he’d said it before. With him it tended to be brief openings of time where he was vulnerable before he shut it away again. Brendon reached up and traced a finger along Ryan’s jaw, his eyebrows turned upwards like this was all so endearing and intimate. [b]“I like this.”[/b]

He was going to elaborate why, but he gave up and instead submitted to the compulsion to kiss him; the angle was too perfect, Ryan almost leaning over him, Brendon propping himself up, head tilted backwards. He pulled him back and settled into it too quickly, it felt too natural, like it was just common sense, like they were meant to be like this. Brendon was getting lost in romantic fantasies, made even better by the fact that they were one by one coming true. Feeling Ryan’s muscles relax, he smiled, distant and yet so, so wired at the same time, until a thought struck him that he was indeed still in a towel and unless they wanted to move extremely fast he should probably get dressed. Besides, Ryan was a Virgo, he’d probably make it awkward somehow. So he broke away, pushed against Ryan’s chest and explained himself quickly so that Ryan would know he hadn’t just. Bailed. [i]How modest of you.[/i] Humming a little, amused, Brendon sat up straight when he rolled aside and combed his hand through his hair compulsively, biting his lip to stop himself smiling too wide. [b]“You know me, a saint.”[/b]

When he stood up, he instantly regretted it, disrupting their rhythm like this. Regardless, he readjusted the towel so it was secure around his waist and heading towards his wardrobe, opening it and browsing through. [i]I mean, you’re usually, like.[/i] Brendon raised his eyebrows, continued sorting through his clothes.[b]“A fuckin’ whore?”[/b] [i]Remember when you got into my study and you were acting in very un-Christian ways? You’re a changed man.[/i] He really wasn’t. But Ryan was spiritually a virgin, he didn’t want to scare him away. He turned around, a little embarrassed, because he’d scrubbed that whole event from his mind. Oh well- might as well own it. [b]“Unfortunately I didn’t drink enough to forget that. Aren’t you glad you rejected me, though? Would’ve ruined our friendship. God, I wanted to fuck you so bad.”[/b] He said that last part under his breath after he turned back around, grinning in disbelief at himself. [b]“I’m leaving room for jesus, Ry.”[/b]

Their conversation seemed to have taken a more experimental turn, because this was new to them. Brendon still felt like he was on cloud nine, just dialled it down all the way to keep himself under control. He’d picked out Ryan’s old jersey, mostly out of affection and partly for the joke, and a pair of excessively and unintentionally ripped jeans, and turned to Ryan, pausing awkwardly. [b]“Should I go- to the bathroom?”[/b]