[@Cu Chulainn], [@Kyoka] You're welcome, of course. [quote=@ItMeGritty] [hider=That's one way to Finnish] [b]Class:[/b] Saber [b]True Name/Title:[/b] Kullervo, The Son of Evil [b]Source:[/b] Finnish Folklore [u][color=ed1c24][b]Alignment:[/b] Evil Insane[/color][/u] [b]Appearance:[/b][center][img]https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/deitywars/images/7/76/Evil_Swordsman_Linedel_RR%2B%2B.png/revision/latest?cb=20130905065739[/img][/center] [b]Short Bio/Synopsis:[/b] Even before Saber's birth his life was filled with tragedy. A petty rivalry between two brother magi, Untamo and Kalervo, escalated into open war between the brothers' tribes. Kalervo's tribe was massacred, save for a single pregnant woman, Kullervo's mother. Thus Kullervo was born into slavery and when he was just three months old he swore vengeance on Untamo and his tribe. Untamo failed on three different occasions to kill the child and eventually sold him to the blacksmith Ilmarinen. Kullervo's life from that point on was a constant stream of mishaps that usually ended in violence. Towards the end of his short life he had found his missing family who he had originally presumed dead. However, he had an uncontrollable desire to satiate the desire for vengeance in his heart. So strong was this compulsion for wanton destruction that he didn't even mourn when he found out his family had been killed, only shedding a single tear for his mother. While on his warpath he prayed to the god Ukko and he was granted a magical talking sword that he turned on Untamo and his tribe, slaying every man, woman and child. Kullervo had finally taken his revenge, but his actions had left his family defenseless, making his campaign all for not. Stopping at a place where plants no longer grow, he asked his magical sword if it would take his life. The sword agreed as it did not care whether the blood it drank was innocent or guilty. Kullervo threw himself onto his own blade, ending his own pitiful existence. Despite his acts of cruelty, Kullervo's tragic tale was etched into the Throne of Heroes as a cautionary tale for parents who would abuse or neglect their children or else they would grow up to be as wicked as the Son of Evil. [list] [*][b]STR:[/b] B [*][b]END:[/b] B [*][b]AGI:[/b] C [*][b]MANA:[/b] A [*][b]LCK[/b] E [*][b]NP:[/b] A++ [/list] [b]Class Skills:[/b] [list] [*][b]Magical Resistance:[/b] (B) A Class Skill that grants protection against magical effects. At this rank it cancels spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for them to be affected. [*][b]Riding:[/b] (C) A Class Skill of Rider and Saber class Servants, denoting the ability to ride mounts and vehicles. At this rank most vehicles and animals can be handled with above average skill. However, he cannot ride the likes of Phantasmal Species such as Monstrous Beasts. [/list] [b]Personal Skills:[/b] [list] [*][color=ed1c24][u][b]Mana Burst (Lightning):[/b][/u][/color] (A) The increase in performance caused by infusing one's weapons and body with Magical Energy and instantly expelling it. Simply put, recreating the effect of a jet burst by expending large amounts of Magical Energy. Saber possesses a version that infuses his body and weapons with magical energy that has a lightning attribute. This skill is derived from his innate magical abilities that saved his life when he was a newborn as well as his connection to a thunder god, manifesting as excessive reserves of mana. [*][b]Single-Mindedness:[/b] (A) The ability to immerse oneself in something, exhibiting a superhuman degree of focus. Even when he regained the family he lost, Saber still pursued the goal of avenging their deaths. Actions taken towards the goal of slaying a single enemy become more effective at the cost of making Saber numb to stimuli outside of that single enemy. Detecting the presence of other nearby enemies becomes very difficult, damage from other enemy attacks goes unnoticed and fighting against two opponents at the same time is almost impossible. [*][b] Sadistic Constitution: [/b] (C) A Skill that augments one's aggression in battle. It appears to be a positive Skill, but the longer its owner stays in battle, the more their abusive disposition will grow, causing them to lose their usual composure. It's possible to say that this is just one step short of the Skill that causes Berserkers to go insane. The more one attacks, the stronger one becomes, but on the other hand, one's defensive abilities drop. Derived from Saber's final act of war, burning Untamo's village to the ground and leaving no survivors. His heinous goal achieved and with no family to return to, he turned his own abuse onto himself and fell on his own blade. [/list] [b]Noble Phantasm[/b] [list] [*][b]True Name/Title:[/b] Ukonvasara-Conduit of Lightning's Origin [*][color=ed1c24][u][b]Rank:[/b] A++[/u][/color] [*][u][color=ed1c24][b]Type:[/b] Anti-Fortress[/color][/u] [*][b]Range:[/b] 10~90 [*][color=ed1c24][u][b]Maximum Number of Targets:[/b] 1000[/u][/color] [*][b]Description:[/b] During his campaign against the Untamo Tribe Magi, Kullervo received news of the death of his family. His heart had been sealed away and he did not mourn their deaths. In this hardened state he prayed to the Finnish God of Thunder, Ukko, and was granted his awful tool for revenge. He was gifted a sentient sword that thirsted for the blood of the innocent and guilty alike. He turned this blade on his sworn enemies, crushing them under it's divine might, then turned the blade on himself. Saber's NP manifests as a hateful black sword. While it is perfectly sized and balanced for Saber's use it is "incomplete" and only constitutes the hilt of a much more devastating weapon. Contained within the weapon is humanity's conception of lightning during the Age of Gods. By invoking the sword's True Name and holding it aloft, Saber can call upon Divine Lightning and weaponise it as the Gods once did, uniting the hilt with the 'blade' as a pillar of electrical energy and summoning massive thunderstorms that will devastate the surrounding area with powerful lightning strikes. This pillar can be brought down upon structures within range and reduce them and any occupants to mere ashes and dust. The sword also has a tertiary effect. It contains a facsimile of human sentience and capable of communication. The sword performs an approximation of humanity's own twisted nature and craves the taste of blood. However... [/list] [b]Misc/Other/Trivia:[/b] Kullervo has no desires for the Grail as his own goal in life had been accomplished and he has nothing else to live for. [b][u][color=ed1c24]The summoned "Kullervo" is actually a puppet being manipulated by the desires of the Ukonvasara. Why or how this happened is unknown.[/color][/u][/b] [/hider] [/quote] Interesting. However, I have a few observations (Marked in red in the CS): - Insane/Mad alignment require a Servant to be under the effects of Madness Enhancement of a high enough rank to rob them of their capacity to think. Either review your character's personal skills and add ME C or higher or change this alignment. - Mana Burst (Lightning) has no reason to be that strong. I can see a reason for him to have this skill but not at the same rank as someone who's a literal incarnation of a God of Thunder such as Raikou. - The Noble Phantasm has no reason to be of such a high rank, especially when the +'s appear to mean extra raw power rather than conditional buffs. Similarly, it has no reason to be Anti-Fortress or hit so many targets at once as well. Again, compare it to Vajra (which is a literal bolt of lightning from Indra) and you'll see you are overdoing it a lot compared to other Divine Constructs that are not only older but also have more fame. - Also, is there a specific reason for that last bit of trivia? Because it doesn't seem like something that can happen under normal circumstances. Even a fake like "Benkei" has a good explanation for why he isn't who he's meant to be.