The player that Ari flagged down looked friendly enough, even if their appearance appeared to have no theme at all going for them. Rotund and seven foot tall, the weathered man had a body shape akin to a yam, bulging in the middle but thinning out on top. Wearing a large, patchwork cloak from which talismans were pinned to with nails, he stopped, turned, and regarded the group of newcomers.

[b]“Yikes,”[/b] was the first thing that came out of his mouth, much more high-pitched and boyish than his frame suggested. [b]“Really small-brained it, huh? Lol. Fucking noobs.”[/b]

He continued to make vague, laugh-like sounds, the chainmail underneath clinking. After a moment though, the yam-man paused, thoughtfully, looking the part of a worldly priest.

Of course, that ended the moment he opened his mouth again, and the voice of an insufferable 13 year old sounded. [b]“Slap that boulder there. You’ll get 20 silver. Go straight up the road next. You’ll see a shrivelled old fuck squatting by a teahouse. He has a mouth full of rotten teeth. He sells charms. 20 silver per. +5 in all stats. That’ll help with your fuck ups over there. After that, head off to the west gate. You’ll see a river. Go down that river til you see these frogmen. They’re easy money; you can beat them up with your fists, ‘specially with the charms. Farm those, sell them, and once you’ve got some kills, you can start looking for proper work with merchants. Caravans heading southeast are always looking. There’s no tutorial, by the by. Good luck. Lol.”[/b]

The massive man nodded, sniggering.

[b]“Now I’mma yeet, so see ya nerds literally never.”[/b]
[sub][@GreenGoat][/sub]