[quote=@Tatterdemalion]“Do you have any idea how little I need this right now? Put those guns down, you little—“

She stops, smooths down her hair, takes a deep breath. Count to five. Think about Euna’s smile.

“Hey, sorry,” she starts again. “I get the gesture, I didn’t mean to lose my cool. Thanks for showing up, Dommy, I was worried when you didn’t RSVP. It’s a little late for this, though; you really should have done the whole fake kidnapping shtick at my bachelorette’s.”[/quote]

"This is deadly serious," said some rambo-looking motherfucker who was being vary careful not to flex his way out of the flowing white angel dress that you had on standby just in case a very particular form of inspiration struck at the last minute. Little adorable wings and everything. "You're going to marry Dominus - and as soon as the paperwork is signed we're going to drain your bank account and use your financial empire to fund the restoration of the old world order. Now get out there!"

You're shoved at gunpoint out onto the stage - and into the arms of a surprised looking Comstar. "Who the hell are you people?" she says as the soldiers storm out onto the stage.

[quote=@Phoe]But there is murder in her eyes and stretched across her mouth, and only maybe a twelfth of that is directed at her fiancée. If looks could kill (and in some universes, they can!), Euna's glare would be deadlier than the death gun pointed at her right now. Actually, all things considered, it probably still is. It's just, if the mean look doesn't work? She's pretty helpless right now. She needs a plan. Or time. Or help.

"I'm gonna give you... ten seconds to tell me what the fuck you [i]think[/i] it is you're doing here. And then because this is such a special day, I'll give you an extra five to leave without doing it. You can tell Comstar she god damn well knows why she didn't get an invitation."[/quote]

"This is a heist," said DeathGun69. "We are heisting your wedding. You and @Sarahphim are both going to marry Comstar instead of each other. Wah ha ha!"

"Such a brilliant plan!" swooned SSJ2Rick.

"She's so smart!" said BloodHackerXxX

This has the feel of one of those plans with a lot of question marks between here and profit, but such is on brand for Comstar plans.

There's not any time to think about it further, because the music to announce your arrival has started to play. Your unconventional bridesmaids gesture you out into the aisle, glowing and radiant in the midst of falling lily petals, towards a stage where the most beautiful @Sarahphim you've ever seen is waiting for you. Also Comstar, a couple of glowing pink robots, and like fifty armed soldiers are pointing guns at each other and the audience but... in this moment, does it matter?

[quote=@Balmas]Beg pardon, he knew [i]exactly[/i] what he was getting into. His sister's associates include a genie, a pirate, a mutant, and an honest-to-goodness looney toon, and that's only [i]some[/i] of the human-shaped ones. He'd crunched the numbers when the invitations went out, and there was a 100% chance of sitting next to weirdness. Not least, because he's Sara's family, and they've given each other shit since birth, so why not at her wedding?

That's why he and Locker have been improving his flexibility.

So as the Queen and the Tiger get busy--and dear sweet merciful heaven he could have gone his entire life without learning how an amazon and a tiger kiss--his rear scoots forwards on the chair until he's able to feed himself horizontally through the gap between seat and the backrest.

And with that, he's off to find and edit the seating chart, because obviously that's what he's supposed to do.
[/quote]

So. Problem. The seating chart has already been hacked. All of the rows are to be filled with THE GLORIOUS CREATIONS OF DOCTOR SYLVANIUS, who has sent notice that they are arriving slightly late. With a grim sensation you look up at the sky where a dozen interplanetary transport missiles are closing in from high orbit surrounded by blazes of fire. They'll be here in minutes.

"Hey Brainstorm," said Prometheus over the comms. "Can I pleaaaaaaaaase hijack some of those incoming combat robots? I promise I'll use their powers for good. [i]Pleaaaaaaaaase[/i]?"