[centre][h1]The Dawn of the Trolldom[/h1][/centre]
[hr]

High up in the World Anchor mountains, an enormous cave opening led into the deepest, darkest dens of stone - the infamous home of Thunder the Cragking, self-proclaimed regent of the mountains and eternal enemy of humanity. In his crystalline cavern of rock and iron, he ruled alongside his two mighty sons, Prince Crush the Great Maw, and Prince Quake the Scourge of the Hills. Years had passed since the acquisition of the Shades of Eternal Night, but the dovregubbes took their time in testing them - they needed to make sure they were completely safe to travel outside the darkness, even under the glare of the sun. In their experimentation, they had also laid their plans for the expansion of the Trolldom - their dream as the most powerful descendants of the first trolls - including the first troll. 

They had drawn up a map on the floor of their massive cave - it revealed to them the lands they had taken so far, as well as the lands they would take in the coming years. They feared no resistance - in fact, the villages they had taken so far hadn’t resisted at all. Usually, the mere sight of them was enough for them to surrender unconditionally. No, resistance was never an issue.

The issue was simply taking enough villages. As their primary source of food, they couldn’t shy away from claiming as much land as possible, as well as the people living on that land. The livestock they herded, too, was extremely valuable. Word travelled fast, however - if they were seen early, the villagers would escape before they could be caught. They would need smaller allies - scouts and skirmishers who could find them their targets and help them sneak up on them before the villagers got wise. 

So it was then that the Cragking turned to his son Crush with such a slow twist of the neck that one could practically hear the stone, earth and moss growing on his joints turn to dust. “Crush, my lad,” he rumbled. “Your journey today wearing the legendary sunshields - what did you discover?”

“Well father,” Crush slowly walked himself towards the map, pointing to the center mountain of the anchor. “I have discovered the location of all those large shakings that do a number on our gardens, a massive sword is stuck up there causing all this nonsense, i’d go up and get it but the path up is too small for a troll, we’d have to get one of our servants to go get it.” 

“Bloody hell, that’s a sword doin’ that?!” Quake thundered like his father would. “Been buggin’ me for nigh a thousand and five hundred years, those bloomin’ quakes.”

“You can say that again,” Thunder rumbled along in agreement and interlaced his fingers with an ear-shattering grind of stone. “You said, uh, wossname, servants, Crushy? What’d you have in mind?”

“Uh, well, We get one of them hummies and send ‘m up there to go pull it free, if it a good sword, we take it, if not, we let them handle it.” 

“Issit really that easy?” Quake mumbled skeptically and gave his chin a sandpapery scrape. Thunder snorted and sucked on a granite tooth. 

“Would save us a lotta trouble if we got rid’a them quakes, aye. Where did we last put them pinkies?”

“We et them, dad,” Quake pointed out with an erect index finger. The Cragking growled in disappointment. 

“That tends to be how it goes, huh… Oi, Crushy!”

Crush looked up towards his father “Wut is it dad?” 

Thunder pointed a tree trunk finger at the Shades of Eternal Night, enshrined as they were on a neatly shapen stone pedestal in the back of the room next to the kettle and the stone shelves with all the mugs and bowls, which were also, for a lack of creatively selected materials, made of stone. “You’re on scoutin’ duty today. Put on them shades and go out to find us some humies so we can remove that bloomin’ sword and find my turnip garden under all the rubble, finally.”

“Da, we’re growin’ potatoes, not turnips.”

“They’re too small - my eyes don’t see the difference no more!”

Crag rose, giving his dad a slight salute “Aye! You can, uh, count on me pa! i'll save ur garden from dem shakies.” He walked over to where the shades were positioned and lightly put them onto his face. Heading out from the cave to find himself some hummies. 

He walked through the mountains they called their realm, he had to admit walking out when that fierce sun was shining was nice. What wasn't really nice was getting lost in the mountains, which Crag had to admit happened a bit too much. 

As it had just happened now, while he had not been walking long it was clear he didn't quite know where he was going, oh well, he knew where the sword was, just needed to find some hummies. He descended down from the rocky mountains into the forested foothills. 

As he walked through the dense forest, he eventually found himself in a small little clearing near a hill, where a large opening had been carved into it, inside he could see a small group of ranglefants, sitting around a pot with a fire growing underneath. 

“Oi! ‘ello there!” He spoke, waving his hand to the gathered group. Four moss-grown heads with hair flowing down to the ground and noses like coconuts turned to face the giant, all of them covering their wide mouths with their enormous hands to gasp.

“Bloody ‘ell, izzat a bloomin’ dovregubbe?!”

“By Funder, I fhink et is, bruv - oi, Shane, you gotta come see this!” 

Another head poked out of the cave entrance. “Bloody ‘ell, whagwarn?” muttered the newcomer with a rub of the eye. Then he caught sight of the giant and rubbed them again. “By Funder!”

“‘S wot I said, that.” Then all of them lined up shoulder to shoulder and offered sloppy salutes to Crush, as though some ancient instinct told them to obey him by nature. “Oi, welcome ta Down-Below, bruv! Wot you doin’ ‘ere?”

“I, uh, am Prince Crag the Great Maw, son of Thunder the Cragking!.” He loudly boasted, pointing a thumb at himself, boasting both him and his father’s titles. “I’m here to find some hummies for a mission, who are u all?”  

The ranglefants looked at one another, each more slack-jawed than the next. “Son ‘a bloody Funder!” boomed them all and clapped their massive hands triumphantly. Another one continued:

“We’s the Down-Belows - been livin’ down below for, uh, for a while. I’m Chester; tha’s Shane, me bruv; wife ‘ere’s Sharline; that’un there’s me ol’ nan, Beff; ‘n finally, there’s lil’ Enry, my lil’ boy.” Despite his very clear distinction of both genders, age and relations, they all looked just about the same - the older ones were slightly larger than their youngers and had more pronounced moss and mushroom colonies in their hair and on their shoulders. Chester gave his coconut nose a full-forearm rub. “You’s lookin’ fo’ ‘umies, izzit?”

Crag did his best to try to associate the names with all of them, he just hoped they didn’t quiz him on it anytime soon. “Aye, im lookin for hummies, need em to go up a mountain for us, that being my pa, my bruv, and me of course, we wanna stop the big shakkies going on here, u all know any hummie nearby?” 

“The big shakies?! Where?!” howled Beff and hid underneath a nearby rock. Shane went to collect her with a sigh while Sharline raised her hand. “Yeah, there’s humies nearby - ‘bout half a night’s stroll, uh, that way.” She pointed vaguely northwards, though it was hard to tell if she actually meant that the village was to the north, because she kept making alterations to the direction. “Say, uh…” She pointed to his head, which, to their surprise, stood taller than many of the surrounding trees and was as such showered thoroughly in the setting sun. “... How the bloomin’ ‘ell is you not turned to stone by now?!”

Her family squinted in on her observations and all dropped their jaws in equal bafflement. “By Funder, bruv, you’s standin’ in the middle’a the sun! Dive, mate, dive for cover!” urged Chester.

“Wut?...Oh, ya.” Crag had sort of forgotten that was a thing. “Don’t wurry about that, see i got these glasses.” He pointed up to his face, where the glasses sat. “They keep me from turning to stone in de light.” 

“... Bloomin’ ‘ell…” mumbled Enry before being smacked upside the head by Sharline.

“Enry! We don’t curse in this ‘ere bloomin’ ‘ouse’old, izzat clear?!”

Enry rubbed his sore head in defeat. “Yes, mum.” 

“There more’a them?” asked Chester the giant.

“Unfortunately not.” Crag responded, showing a slight disdain at stating that. “Wes only got the one, that's why me bruver and dad aint with me.” 

“Agh, bloomin’ ‘ell…” growled Chester and gave his disproportionately small head a rake with a disproportionately large hand. “So, uh… You need’ny ‘elp catchin’ those ‘umies?”

“I’d be mur than happy to accept ur help, we just need one hummie, one agile enough to walk up the mountain and grab de sword.” 

“Just one?” offered Shane with a bit of a limp neck. “But I could go fo’ a snack.”

“Yeah, da - uncle wanz a snack! Can I get one, too?” pleaded Enry.

“Who said snacks?!” blurted Nanny Beff.

“By Funder, Shane, you got ‘em goin’. Fine, guess we all goin’,” muttered Chester and looked up at Crush. “Follow me, bruv.” The five of them then headed northwards in a line from the tallest, Chester, to the shortest, Enry, their long hands all dragging along the forest floor like field plows.

Crush followed, standing just to the left of the line of the others, keeping an eye out. On their way he spotted a fairly hefty log on the forest floor, which he decided to pick up, just in case he needed to threaten anyone or beat them senseless. The ranglefants made sure to stick to the shadows - while it was setting fast, the sun was still out and threatened to blister their skin. Sharline approached the shrubbery at the edge of the village and jogged back to Crush to clap him on the calf. “Oi, humies’re over there - village over there! What you want us ta do, man?”

Over yonder, there was indeed a small village, a collection of five huts and a barn, with a population so conveniently blind to their approach that one could wonder whether the Shades of Eternal Night also hid Crush’s presence. It could’ve also been the tree cover, for all the trolls knew. What was important, though, was that they were there, the humans, and they hadn’t picked up on their scent nor presence yet.

Crush did not recognize the village, obviously they had managed to avoid the Cragking’s rule. “Allow me.” He spoke to the others, he rose to his fullest height, giant log in one hand resting upon his shoulder. “Hummies won’t expect Crush in daylight, make em big scare, grab ‘volunteers’ be easy.” 

He slowly walked towards the village, making himself look as intimidating as he could. Almost immediately, he was seen, and those who had seen him actually took a moment to rub their eyes, pinch their arms or ask out loud: “Am I dreaming?”

When it was very, very clear that they weren’t, they threw their arms in the air and ran around like headless chickens, screaming their lungs out. Crush just walked around, grabbing up what appeared to be the strongest and most agile of the humans, slinging them across his free shoulder, he then used his log and smashed it against two fleeing humans, sending them flying with a nice snap. He dropped his log and picked the two others up, deciding he had gotten what he needed; he headed back to the ranglefants. 

Placing the two humans he had smashed down, he looked at the family “dis fur u, a thanks fur, uh, leading me to dis place.” 

“Woohoo! You’s the best, bruv!” shouted Enry. The other four salutes their gratitude while slowly beginning to encircle the two corpses. All did it but Chester, who put his fists on his hips and looked up.

“So, what’s you goin’ ta do now, huh? Just head back?”

“Now, I head to center mountain, get hummie to grab sword, den head back to me pa and bruder,” He looked down at Chester, who he had to admit had an endearing factor to him. “Iv u want, uh, i could convince me pa to let u and ur family into our kingdom, we could use smaller trolls like you.” 

Chester thumbed his chest humbly. “Why, wouldn’t tha’ be somefhin’! SHARLOINE!”

“Whaaaaat?!” came a full-mouthed response.

“Crush’s invitin’ us ta move up top!”

“Well, why ‘aven’t you said yes yet?!”

“Gettin’ to et, woman!” Chester looked back up at Crush and raised a thumb. “We’re in.”

Crush raised his own thumb and let a big toothy grin form on his face “Perfect, i’ll, uh, let u and ur family get ready, imma go get sword from mountain, then i be back, lead you up to mountain, ya?”

Chester offered him another erect thumb as his family dragged the corpses further into the woods. “We’ll get our stuff. Be back soon!” With that, he waddled happily after his family.

Crush waved them away, as soon as they disappeared into the forest, he began to reorient himself, which took, some time. Eventually he had managed to return himself to the main portions of the mountains, off in the distance he could see the massive central mountain of the Anchor. It took him and the human still struggling on his shoulders quite some time to reach it, but they did. Crush could see the thin and haphazard stone steps leading up the mountain, and the sword shoved into the top. There was also a sign but Crush couldn’t read it so didn’t care. He set the human down, pointing up the mountain. 


“Go get sword.” He ordered. 

The human, a young woman with long black hair and terror dirtying her every inch. She eyed the sword, then the surroundings, and then looked back to Crush. Her frozen lips could barely speak. “C-can I go home i-if I do?”

Crush shrugged “Dun’t see why not, if Crush no like sword, Hummie also gets to keep.”

The girl sniffed weakly and shivered her way over to the pedestal. With frozen hands, she reached up and grabbed the sword, pulling and pulling until she bent forward in exhaustion. “It-it’s stuck! I-I’m not strong enough!” she wept. “Mommy, daddy, Cory, I wanna go hooo-ooome!”

With those words, and a final weak pull, the sword came loose, almost like it was never stuck in the ground in the first place. The sudden loosening of the blade sent the woman off of her feet and tumbling down, but luckily Crush was there to catch her with his large hands, slowly setting her down, he looked at the sword in her hand. 

“hmmm, sword very blocky, not nice looking, Hummie can keep it, too small for Crush anyway.” He motioned for her to follow him, “Lead back to village, Crush have business there.” The girl, unable to respond due to emotional trauma, hitched a ride wordlessly.

Once more they got back to the village, by now Crush was beginning to get a bit tired, but figured he could have a nice rest soon enough, he dropped the woman off near her village, close enough that nothing bad would happen to her surely. Then, he retracted his steps into the forest once more, and with a bit of trouble found himself back at the home of the ranglefant family, who were waiting inside their home. 

“Oh! glad to see u again!” Crush shouted out towards them “Sword job done, wez can head up the mountain to my home.” 

The ranglefants clapped their hands eagerly. “Woo!” yelled Shane and threw his arms into the air with such momentum that he nearly lost his balance. “Is there snacks to be et up there, too?!”

Crush smiled once more “eyup! we got dems snacks, and wid ur help, we can get even more snacks!” He drew closer to the hole they called home, slightly squatting to bring himself closer to the ranglefants “need any ‘elp carrying anything?” 

“Not much ta carry, but fhanks,” offered Sharline. Indeed, only Chester and Shane actually looked to be carrying something, Chester holding a skin bag of something over his shoulder and Shane carrying a bundle of old clothes. “When’re we headin’ out?”

Crush looked up at the sky, seeing the sun dipping below the horizon. “De sun is setting, safest time for us to ‘ead up to cave, shouldn’t be too much of a walk.” 

“A’right, bruv, you lead the way! We’ll be right behind you.”

With that Crush turned back towards the mountains. As the sun descended upon the anchor, he led the ranglefant family back up towards mountains, ignoring the sudden signs of destruction nearby that human village, through the rocky crags and valleys, leading them up a path deep into the heart of the mountains. Soon coming upon a great opening leading deep into a stone den, home of the Cragking. 

Crush entered into the home, ranglefants in tow, with a loud and victorious stance. “I’ve dun it da! sword is gone and i’ve even brought back friends!” he gestured towards the ranglefants behind him.

The moss-grown giant twisted his head ever so slightly to behold the newcovers, his neck crackling like a rush of cravel. There came a long, long hum and then he opened his mouth as though his jaws had rusted and grown slow. “Ranglefants!” he boomed and the family of five lined up at the shoulders and saluted him.

“We’s ‘ere ta join up! Crush ova’ there said ‘was aright.”

Thunder leaned down to inspect them further, causing an avalance of dirt, moss and stone to roll off his shoulders and down on the ground. “My, I haven’t seen your kind for almost a thousand and half years. Thought you was all been outwon by them pinkies.”

Chester and Shane both scoffed. “Outwon?! Now listen ‘ere, gov’. Ranglefants may not be as tall and strong as your lot, but by Funder, ‘re we survivors!”

“Survivors!” echoed Shane and nanny Beff, the latter looking to do so someone deliriously, adding a “where am I” at the end.

Shane continued, “We’s ‘eard you’re makin’ a fhing around ‘ere. We wants in. Ain’t leavin’ ‘til we get ta join.”

Thunder rubbed the sand out of his eyes and looked up at Crush. “Where’d you find this lot, ey, Crush?”

Crush turned towards his father, having placed the glasses back neatly on their pedestal. “Uh, i fund ‘em down in de highlands, de’ ‘elped me find some hummies to get the sword with, i figured they’d be helpful in scouting and stuff, what being smaller den us and having some knowledge beyond the mountains.” He move next to the ranglefants, his own stone form creaking as he walked. 

Thunder hummed again for an awkwardly long time. “A’right. Our two kins was friends once - long, long ago. If they can help us found the Trolldom, they’re welcome aboard. After all, no troll’s got a brotha’ like anotha’ troll.” He reached down and extended an index finger, which Chester shoved Shane aside to shake. “Call me king Thunder.”

Chester’s eyes were glistening at this point, and his family all shed proud tears in their sloppy salutes. “‘Tis an honour, gov-- I mean, Ye Majestay. Name’s Chester ‘n this’s my family. We’ll do right by ya - any friend’a Crush’s a friend’a ours.”

“Well, I’m the king, so I’d hope so.” Thunder offered Crush a knowing look. “Now that we’ve got some scouts, what’s your first mission for ‘em, gen’ral?”

Crush immediately beamed at being called gen’ral, he slowly marched towards the great map drawn into the floor “Well, i wus think’n we send ‘em to ‘ere.” He pointed towards the northern portions of the map “I ‘member you saying de north wus home to our kin da, if we figure out more dere, wes could gather more trolls to us.” 

“The NORF?!” sputtered the king with such force that one could wonder whether the sword had been removed at all. “No! Nuh-uh, you know we hate it up there ‘n whatever -is- up there is nothin’ but dead. No, we got no bis’niss in the norf.”

“Yeah, norf’s bad, gen’ral,” offered Shane quietly, kicking at a pebble on the ground.

“Very bad. Lotsa mean storms and junk. Snow. Snow for days. No food,” nanny Beff continued with a thousand yard stare.

“Hear, hear,” mumbled the king thereafter.

Crush shrank back a bit, “Ah, didn’t realize dat, in dat case,” he move his hand more southward to the more closer regions of the mountain, “Maybe wez head only slight norf? dem big realm of hummies could be a threat, knowing more would ‘elp uz in case we need to defend ourselves from ‘em.” 

“You means that, uh, wossname…” The mountain king scratched some trees of his head. “Humie place up norf, right? That one?”

[color=DAA250]”Ketrefa”[/color]

The king made a face. “Huh, now that takes me back. Sure, why not. Good suggestion, my lad.”

“Uh...da, I didn’t say that, neither did Quake or the Rangles”

“Oh, ‘course Quake didn’t say it. He’s out huntin’!” He looked down at the ranglefants, all of whom shrugged defensively. “Well, if you’s didn’t say it, who did?!”

[color=DAA250]”I did”[/color] suddenly, a plume of dust and soot swirled at the entrance of the cave, taking the form of a strange lanky figure, long arms, a strange faceless, face, and a variety of other items. [color=DAA250]”Greetings Cragking.”[/color] The figure bowed, showing a sign of respect to Thunder sitting on his throne. 

“By Thunder!” thundered Thunder, and the ranglefants reached deep inside and found an instinct to hide in the darkness, scattering to the winds. The king leaned forward to inspect the creature, his usual snail-like movements hastened with surprise. “Whot in blazes are you?!”

[color=DAA250]”I, am a god, and a new friend,”[/color] The figure stepped forward slightly, their movement smooth and graceful [color=DAA250]”Your son here has impressed me, managing to rid my earthshaker sword from its peak, and, avoid the horrid curse all the while, I think that deserves a reward to him and your kingship, does it not?”[/color]

“Wait, that thing was cursed?!” Thunder thundered again. “How did I not see this comin’... Did you know this, Crushy?”

Crush shrugged “I ‘ave to admit dad, i didn’t, de sword wus too small for us, so i let the hummie keep it.” 

[color=DAA250]”And,”[/color] the figure spoke [color=DAA250]”In doing so you have ensured that village will suffer that curse for eons to come, while this kingdom reaps its rewards.”[/color] It chuckled [color=DAA250]”I couldn’t have thought of a better ending myself.”[/color]

Thunder smacked his lips. “Well… Better them than us, isn’t that right?”

“That’s right, gov!” came still-quivering voices from the shadows. 

Thunder smirked. “So, you said a reward, wossit?”

The figured chuckled [color=DAA250]”I suppose its time to give them, for your son”[/color] The figure raised its right hand, a swirl of energy came forth, wrapping itself around Crush, who was thoroughly spooked by the whole endeavor, before it settled softly into him [color=DAA250]”He shall hold an aura of leadership over those deemed, misfits, of the human realms, your kin, my children, and others, befitting his title as, Gen’ral.”[/color] 

The figure then turned towards the king, [color=DAA250]”As for you oh great Cragking, I think its about time you got a crown.”[/color] He raised his left hand, a swirl of stone and dust gathered into it, forming a crown that, to the trolls was perfect, but to others would be described as janky and odd. The figure walked up to thunder, kneeling and presenting the crown. [color=DAA250]”For you, no curses mind you, I am a fair director.”[/color]

Thunder clapped his hands eagerly and kicked his legs, which had barely moved for a thousand years. He flicked some trees off the top of his head, accepted the crown greedily and placed it upon his head with a broad smirk. “Ah, now all’s right in the world. Gifted a crown by a god and everyfhin’. Crush, you’s done me proud, my lad. This’ll be the day the history drawin’s will say my reign began.” He looked down at the god. “Say, uh, whot’ll we call you? Them drawin’s’ll probably feature you, too, y’know.”

The figure rose [color=DAA250]”I have many names, there are some who call me the All-Father and Yamatu, which, those who do so could prove to be allies to your kingdom in time, but, you may merely call me, Yamat, the Grand Director.”[/color] The figure bowed once more, its janky right arm shooting out, even his bow seemed janky and off putting. 

“Yummit?” Thunder mumbled and cupped his hand behind his ear. “Odd name for a god. Sounds like a snack.”

“Yeah, actually, speakin’ of those…” came a hungry note from the corner of the room where the ranglefants still hid.

The figure, Yamat, looked towards those hidden [color=DAA250]”I shall leave you be now, to deal with your subjects, may your reign prosper Cragking, I shall be watching.”[/color] with another flourished bow, the strange dust form fell apart and vanished. Crag slowly walked next to his father and his throne. 


“Well, that wuz odd.” He finally spoke “When do u think Quake will be back?”

[hider=Sumsum]
Trolls are trolling hard in the Troll mountains (Anchor, that is), and they wanna expand. First, tho, they gotta get rid of that fucking earthquake that keeps ruining their turnip/potatoe gardens (actual reason). So King Thunder sends his favourite son Crush to do something about it. The way up there ain’t safe, tho, so Crush goes downhill instead to find an expendable human. On the way, he meets the Chavs, five ranglefants who are eager to serve a dovregubbe, and with the promise of snacks, help Crush find a human village. Crush snatches three humans, one alive and two dead, gives the dead one to the ranglefants and then takes the live one up to pull out the sword. She does, and Crush returns her to her village so that she may bring eternal doom upon it as a result. That’s not important, though, ‘cuz Crush and the Chavs (dope band name) head back up to Thunder’s cave, where Thunder, uh, invites them to join? In exchange for snacks, of course. Crush says the ranglefants would make for dope spies, so Thunder lets them stay. When planning their next move, a weird voice suggests “KETREFA” and they’re like wot. Yamat’s image pops outta nowhere, congratulates them on removing the sword, promotes Crush to gen’ral and gives Thunder the Cragking Crown (the legit one). For his troubles, he is forever remembered as Yummit and the trolls forget about him five seconds after he leaves.

The Trolldom is a go, baby!
[/hider]

[hider=MP Usage!]
Yamat 3MP/0DP
1MP - Create hero: Crush: Gen’ral I: This legend among trolls has a natural aura of leadership of the misfits of the world, such as trolls, iskrill and other miscreants.
2MP - Create artifact: The Cragking Crown: 
Voice of Thunder I: The wearer of this artifact can choose to make their voice as loud as thunder.
Shadow of the Mountain I: Wherever the wearer of the artifact walks, they are unaffected by the rays of the sun, as though they stood in the shadow of a mountain.
End 0MP/0DP
[/hider]

[hider=prestige]
Gen’ral Crush: 
+5 prestige

Earthshaker:
+5 prestige
[/hider]