[Storytime: 2/9
Adventure GET: 3/21
Up to Date: 1/15
Something To Deal With 1]

“Hold the phone. Now give the phone to me.” I hold my hand up to my face. “Hello, this is Rinley Yatskaya, your call is very important to us, and we would like you to know that a maid cafe is exactly what Fortitude needs, especially if it also has those omelettes with the smiley faces drawn in ketchup on them. Thank you for calling Rinley Incorporated, and have a magical day.” Click! I hang up the phone.

And then I look around. Oof. Boy. This is not the sort of place you take a new best friend on your first friend date, is it? We still can’t entirely rule out the theory that this is all an elaborate beat test, but... well, my tail’s twitching and I’ve got a helpful itch in my fingers.

“So what’s the name of the place,” I ask, as I set the lily pad next to the umbrella and wave Sessily over to set Totem over here. This place looks like it’s been ransacked by Mongols and then given a morning’s worth of TLC. “And what’s on the menu? I will have your best dessert for my girl friend, I mean, my friend who is a girl, right here, we’re not dating, this is just a friend date at a cafe, like friends do.” Nailed it. I narrowly avoided putting my foot in my mouth, which I can do, I’m quite flexible, but I deftly avoided making Sessily feel pressured or taken advantage of, and I have surely put the proprietor of the cafe at ease by insinuating that I am interested in spending money in her establishment.

(As it just so happens, I still have that pouch of denarii I found while a prisoner of the Lost Legion underneath the Fortitude Water Tower. They’re really not so bad, once you get to know them. Or, rather, ceoney ouyay tegay otay ohnay emthey, as they say in the Queen’s Latin.)