[hider=Jasper's Review in Blue] [center][img]https://i.imgur.com/GdmKDOt.jpg[/img] [color=cyan]damn furries[/color][b][i][h2][color=burlywood]Jasper Elliot[/color][/h2][/i][/b][/center] [b][color=burlywood]Age:[/color][/b] 11 [color=cyan]don't test me[/color] [b][color=burlywood]Guild Mark Location:[/color][/b] Back of the left hand [b][color=burlywood]Magic Type:[/color][/b] [list] [*]Aera, a magic that allows the user to sprout large, angelic wings that allow the user to fly, as well as to carry objects or people. [*]Fire Magic, a magic that allows the user to conjure, manipulate and control the element of fire. [/list] [b][color=burlywood]Spells:[/color][/b] Jasper knows some spells, but not too many. [hider=Spells] [list] [*]Aera: [list][*]Jasper’s most natural spell, when using it he grows a pair of angelic wings that allow him to fly, with enough lift to carry objects or one person. He can adjust his speed of flight, but this increases Magic Power consumption.[/list] [*]Firefist: [list][*]A simple spell, this allows Jasper to envelope his hands in flame, burning whichever targets he strikes with his fists.[/list] [*]Fireball: [list][*]Another simple spell, this allows Jasper to launch fireballs at his target. The larger the fireball, the more magic power that is required. Can be casted repetitively.[/list] [*]Meltdown: [list][*]This spell, when cast, sets everything physical in a small area around Jasper alight. This means the ground will be set on fire but not the air (though the flames will certainly reach from the ground to the air quickly), and if Jasper is beside a wall or object, that will also be set alight.[/list] [*]Firewhip: [list][*]This spell allows Jasper to whip at targets with a large arc of physical flame that crashes down from above them.[/list] [*]Firelance: [list][*]This spell allows Jasper to cast a continual beam of fire at his target, burning through the air to crash into them and apply more damage over time.[/list] [*]Firestorm: [list][*]Jasper’s most powerful spell, this allows Jasper to summon a magic circle above the target, and have a wave of fire crash down upon those underneath.[/list] [/list] [/hider] [b][color=burlywood]Magic Rank:[/color][/b] B [color=cyan]strong cat[/color] [b][color=burlywood]Equipment:[/color][/b] None [b][color=burlywood]Strengths:[/color][/b] [list] [*]Reflexes: Jasper has catlike reflexes (ha ha) and has a sixth sense for knowing which way is up and which way is down. [*]Eager: Jasper is understanding in the fact that he isn’t strong and that he doesn’t know too much, but he wants that to change, and is willing to push himself to learn and experience new things. [*]Prudent: Jasper tends to make sure he is prepared for what he’s going into, as he doesn’t like being caught off guard. He is cautious, especially in potentially unknown or hostile environments. [/list] [b][color=burlywood]Weaknesses:[/color][/b] [list] [*]Sensitive: Jasper can be quite sensitive to some jokes made about him, or sensitive to any insults that are spoken. [*]Timid: Jasper finds himself easily frightened and lacking a lot of real confidence when it comes to facing a threat. That doesn’t mean he won’t fight, just that he’s a scaredy cat, and prefers not to get hurt. [*]Knowledge: Jasper can often find himself lacking in knowledge due to a lack of having received such as well as not having too many life experiences to gain knowledge from. This also means he can grow confused at complex topics. [/list] [b][color=burlywood]Personality:[/color][/b] At the age that he is, Jasper is not fully mature [color=cyan]same with humans tbh[/color], and so often can end up being a bit childish about things. That being said, he’s also an honest and respectful person, as well as supportive of those that he calls friends. He enjoys hugs, and likes getting affection or compliments. Jasper also often find himself being a little timid, and is a little sensitive, and though he is trying to control the former he still has some trouble with the latter one, finding it a little hard to tell when someone’s really being rude or if they’re trying to make some kind of a joke. On the side, Jasper is a fan of things that cats like, such as fish. [b][color=burlywood]History/Bio:[/color][/b] For the longest of time, Jasper was an egg resting upon a frozen mountain. He was an exceed, and did not hatch because the mighty cold of the mountain top prevented him from doing so. He had been taken from his parents and sent down to Earth Land as the egg to perform a mission, a mission he would never get to do, for many years passed with him still resting within his egg, waiting for the day that he would hatch. That day came when Jasper’s egg was sent tumbling down from the mountain in an avalanche, rolling him down from the frosty tops of the mountain to the warm forests at the bottom. Jasper’s first days were not his greatest. The young exceed had to scavenge what little food he could from berries, and ended up following stream both for water and because he didn’t know any better and just wanted to be near the source of drink. He was alone until he was discovered by a young woman named Vivian Elliot, who took in the mysterious exceed, letting him stay with her at her log cabin, feeding him and caring for him. She was a master in transformation magic, and entertained him with it. This peaceful life changed with the discovery of Jasper by a bandit leader named Yvoll. The Exceed, to Yvoll, was a source of power, a creature that they could turn to their side and use for their deed. He came to this conclusion by the witnessing of Jasper using Aera, and figuring that he had much magical power within him that could be utilised by the bandit group. One of his bandits, named Vill, used copy magic to steal the Transformation magic from Vivian, and turn Jasper human - mostly human, anyhow. As Vill was inexperienced, he wasn’t able to complete a full transformation of Jasper, but it was good enough for Yvoll who promptly executed Vivian, just to ensure Jasper could not be turned back into an Exceed. Jasper, against his will, was then taken and then forced to train with Yvoll. [color=cyan]So couldn't anyone with an understanding of transformation magic be able to lift this spell going forward? Jasper should remember this and could probably just ask around for help.[/color] He learned fire magic from Yvoll, but was unable to use it to escape the prison that Yvoll’s camp was, as Yvoll could extinguish his flames with his own use of fire magic. As Jasper trained, he started to feel a calling, like he needed to be somewhere. He sheepishly admitted this to Yvoll, who just took it as a further sign that Jasper was a wealth of magic power. Years past, and Jasper had grown at ease with his new form, though Yvoll grew more and more tired with the lack of progress in Jasper. He began to question whether or not it was worth keeping Jasper around, as his men were growing frustrated with their leader placing so much of his focus into the boy. Just as Jasper’s time was starting to run out, he was saved by an attack on the bandits by Rune Knights, an attack which allowed Jasper to slip away. Jasper was forced to live on his own as he travelled, trying to make his way to the calling that he felt. He didn’t know what it was, he just knew it was something, [i]someone[/i], that needed him. He didn’t know why, but he didn’t know what else to do or where else to go. If he had not stumbled upon a nearby town, one which the bandits had most likely been harassing for resources such as food, he most likely would have perished. As it was, all he could do was beg for money, and try to catch rides in the direction he was going. Eventually, Jasper came across a city named Crocus, with a Guild within it named Fenixtear. [color=cyan]I guess the call is more important than getting back to normal, then.[/color] [b][color=burlywood]Extra:[/color][/b] Jasper cannot get hurt by his own fire, but does not feel heat from his own flames, and so can’t determine how hot he is making them. [color=cyan]I'm sure this will never come up. Fairy straightforward sidekick type character, I don't see anything that really needs to be fixed or changed. You can move him over to the characters tab but, of course, you won't be able to post with him just yet.[/color] [/hider] [@datadogie] [hider=Bakuto's Review in Blue] [center][hider=Image][img]https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ff/c8/e3/ffc8e34a3bad3a30ec43b1cb7bf1a622.jpg[/img][/hider][/center] [center][h1][b][color=gold]Bakuto the Crystal Maker[/color][/b][/h1][/center] [color=gold][b]Name:[/b][/color] [indent]Bakuto Hokori[/indent] [color=gold][b]Age:[/b][/color] [indent]23[/indent] [color=gold][b]Guild Mark Location:[/b][/color] [indent]On his back right between his shoulders[/indent] [color=gold][b]Magic Type:[/b] [/color] Maker Magic- Crystal/Glass Maker [indent]Much like other maker magics this is magic that makes objects out of magic. Quite similar to ice make magic except this uses the power to solidify nearly anything to turn them into crystals. [color=cyan]So this gives me some immediate Memory Make kind of vibes. Maker magic is already pretty versatile and creative so its hard to put limits on it, but when you start getting versions of it that go beyond a single, quantifiable element you start getting into some wildly strong territory. In the spells you even mention that he crystallize the air or other people's magic. Unfortunately this magic in its current iteration is just too broad and powerful in concept.[/color][/indent] [color=gold][b]Spells: [/b][/color] [b]Offensive[/b] [indent]Crystal make (animal)- Using maker magic to make a crystalized animal that moves and does as the caster wants. Crystal make Sword- Using maker magic to create a sword, Bakuto uses it to create any sword, Bakuto can also change the shape of the sword mid combat to fit combat.[/indent] Supportive/Defensive [indent]Crystal Make Crystallization - Turns, the air, liquid or anything other base elements into a crystal like form. Liquids are easier, but he can crystallize things like fire and lightning nearly anything with a magic base. The only things that can be crystalized holder magic and magic that is stronger then his own. Crystal make Shield Making a crystal shield, it does what it says makes a shield out of crystals. It's strength is determined by what Bakuto uses make the shield out of for the crystals. Whether he uses water and air, it is the weakest form of the shield, the strongest is using pure ethernano, but it is very much unstable, and tends to explode on him if he uses pure ethernano.[/indent] [color=gold][b]Magic Rank:[/b][/color] [indent]B[/indent] [color=gold][b]Equipment:[/b] [/color] [indent]None[/indent] [color=gold][b]Strengths:[/b][/color] Fast Spell Casting Speed [indent]Bakuto can cast his spells very quickly. From quickly casting crystallizing spells to quickly changing the shapes of his crystal maker magic.[/indent] - Extremely Creative [indent]Kind of a trait of most maker magic uses Bakuto is no execption, he is great at thinking of creative ways to create random objects and animals.[/indent] - Omni Elementlist [indent]Bakuto isnt bound by one element, he can use any element to use his maker magic out of. Bakuto can use nearly any magic type and crysalize it into something he can use. Bakuto can even use pure ethernano, but his spells become very unstable when he does.[/indent] - [color=gold][b]Weaknesses:[/b][/color] Holder Magic Users [indent]His magic is weak against holder magic. Bakuto's objects can be used against holder magic to block but he cannot effect holder magic like other kinds of magic. Also holder magic objects are stronger then his crystal made objects[/indent] - Acidic Based magic [indent]A true counter to his magic is any magic with acid in it. Acid is one of the few things that can melt his spells. While Bakuto can crystallize acid he can't keep it in that state as it quickly turns back into acid.[/indent] - Highly Unfocused [indent]Bakuto cant focus on anything for very long. While he might be very creative he cant focus on things to make it worth while. With his maker magic lack of focus can make his spells backfire. Lack of focus does make his spells even weaker at times. Making his spells fall apart often. If he is using pure ethernano the lack of focus can make his own spells explode in his hands or explode before they hit his targets.[/indent] [color=gold][b]Personality: [/b][/color] [indent]Highly energetic, hot head, and idiot are words that descirbe Bakuto generally personality. While his persoanlity is abit more the that but those are the general traits he has. Bakuto's first trait being highly energetic he is full of energy and is ready to get any job down. To some his energy could be exausting, as he goes to the points where he cannot focus on anything. He also is prone to get into a lot of fights as he likes fighting, he doesnt like being wrong which often leads him to being called a hot head at times. As for him being an idot he often doesnt make smart choices His other bits of his personality will be put together as he goes through the rp. [color=cyan]I'm not much of a fan of this either. I expect characters to change and grow over the course of their stories but you don't need to reserve a place in the sheet for that, you can just update the sheet over time when significant changes have happened.[/color][/indent] [color=gold][b]History/Bio:[/b] [/color] [indent]Bakuto was born in a village that he was found as a young child that was destroyed. The village was leveled and on fire execpt for one site that was shielded by a crystal glass like ball. Inside was little Bakuto too young to tell anyone what happened to the village and too yong to understand what happened. It was rumored a dark guild had an 'accidient' but nothing was conclusive. Bakuto was adopted by a wizard who reconized they Bakuto was the one who defended himself from whatever attacked the village. Bakuto was brought up being taught how to use his magic. After years of teaching, Bakuto's teacher disappeared later he would join the guild. Other parts of the history will be created as the rp goes on. [color=cyan]While its just a filler space in the personality, putting that same concept here in the history just shouldn't fly. The backstory here leaves out a lot of details, like establishing Bakuto's motivations or goals. It explains very little about what led up to him arriving at Fenixtear. His history is going to need to be worked on.[/color][/indent] [color=gold][b]Extra:[/b][/color] [indent]No Extra[/indent] [color=cyan]While I understand that Make Magic characters are always going to be on the edge of balanced I don't believe Bakuto's version of the magic is reasonable for being only a B rank mage. It's plainly got too much potential and its not very well justified. His personality is fine enough but the history is simply too barebones and explains literally nothing about him. I can't approve of Bakuto as he is right now. I would suggest toning back his Crystal Make to perhaps instead work with traditional crystals, like minerals, as opposed to being a catch-all Maker magic. Likewise I would suggest to flesh him out a bit more so that I could understand him better.[/color][/hider] [@BladeSS4]