I scream, you scream, we all scream for eye screams! [-Sense] 

Lucien's not a stoic. Why should he be? Not like he's trying to sneak up on the crab monster. And it's not like it's a small target, either. This is more of an agonized battlecry situation. 

Rip some pages out of the Cricketer's Cup and use it as butcher's-paper oven mitts. At least it'll buy a few seconds.

The faster he can get the pie into the Wreck, the faster we can get these bloody fumes away from him. He can bandage his hands in his wet socks the second this thing's launched.

He charges back down the stairs into the fight, screaming a battlecry, half-blind and searing pain.

This is where the problems start.

[Finish Them - Kill them with Pie - 2, 2, +0 - 4 - Lose the Pie, Coleman is no longer Keeping them Busy, face retaliation]

First of all - Lucien has never, in his life, thrown a pie. He's seen it done though. The best way to do it is to hold your palm flat on the base of the pie tin, and cricket bowl it forwards. He holds the motion in his head clearly. He cocks his hand back. 

The paper ovenmitt hits its smoke point, catching fire in his hand. He flubs the throw, the pie lands at the Wreck's pointy legs and smoulders [i]almost [/i]harmlessly. It's the worst possible amount of harm to do. 

It doesn't do enough to hurt the thing. But it definitely did enough to piss it off, and give it a new target. And now there's a fire between the Train and the Wreck, and stinging acrid smoke seperating the two. 

The wreck turns to him. Lucien's legs won't move - he's done flight, he's done fight, and now he's up to freeze. He slips his scorched hands into his pockets and wears the soaking-wet socks as gloves. Standing there, hands in his pockets, he almost looks casual. He's just buying time. In his experience, things only know to chase you if you start running. They get confused when you don't. 

He's eyeing the cannons through stinging, watery eyes.

"Please tell me none of you saw it [i]reload[/i]?"

Woops. That twigged it. Might be time to run again.