[INDENT][sup][sub][h3][b][color=black]J O A N I E  P O R T E R[/color]
[color=Goldenrod] J O A N I E  P O R T E R[/color][/b][/h3][/sub][/sup][/INDENT][sup]_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________[/sup][INDENT][INDENT][COLOR=SILVER][SUP][I]October 18[sup]th[/sup], 1985[/I][/SUP][/COLOR]

Joanie’s newfound determination remained intact as she made her way through the sleepy suburbs of Crestwood Hollow. The flickering street lamps lit her way as she marched onwards, her arms wrapped around herself in an effort to brace herself from the wind. It was only a short journey, with the estate of the infamous Bordeaux twins only being a couple of blocks from her own house, yet the darkness of the night made her uneasy. As she neared the party, she watched in bemusement as numerous kids her age drunkenly stumbling from the direction she was heading, having already decided to call it a night. Due to their number, she was beginning to worry that she was going to be arriving just after everyone had left, but she felt herself at ease as she turned into the driveway to see that those she had passed had only been a small fraction of the party-goers, with the house swarming with countless more. 

Thankfully, the person she was looking for was visible to her immediately. Victor Bordeaux stood coolly atop the balcony overlooking the lawn, a cigarette between his fingers. The sight was not entirely unique to her; Vic had a habit to take time for himself at events like this in order to contemplate his existence or something existential like that. Joanie awkwardly gave a wave of her arms to get his attention, receiving a smile and a beckon in return once he had spotted her. 

Upon entering the house’s entryway, her breathing slowed, her eyes adjusting to the haze of cigarette smoke. Music blared around her, amplified by the shouts and cheers of her classmates. Her eyes darted among them, scanning their faces. She liked to get a lay of the land. It was a habit she had developed in school. She could stay near to who she wished to be near. Avoid those she wished to avoid. And right now, that list to avoid was topped by the name Vanessa. 

Life seemed to be in her favour, as despite how hard she looked, there seemed to be no sign of her. Her heart ached in response. 

Finalizing her route, she moved forward, keeping her head down now as she crossed the room and climbed the stairs.

“[color=goldenrod]And there’s the birthday boy![/color]” She announced fondly as she made her way back out into the night’s cool breeze and approached the balcony’s railing. 

“[color=gold]Glad you could make it, Jo![/color]” Victor said, thankfully. He was still bordering on sober since Jenny had swiped what was left of the drink he had. 

“[color=gold]You had something to drink? There’s plenty. Mom uh... Kind of went overboard. And everyone brought plenty of their own supply.[/color]” The boy mentioned, putting out the sixth cigarette for the night. He was chain-smoking, and he usually did it when something bothers him. 

Something always bothered him.

“[color=goldenrod]Clearly![/color]” She expressed, glancing back towards the doorway in bemusement. “[color=goldenrod]I’ll grab one in a minute. Dad was still up so I wasn’t able to sneak a couple o' bottles like last week.[/color]” A rare smile flashed across her face as her mind floated back. That was until her eyes met the railing beside them and the now half-empty cigarette box Vic had been pulling from. She raised an eyebrow as she watched him reach for another. 

“[color=goldenrod]How’s your night been so far?[/color]” Vic lit the cigarette as her question hung in the air.

“[color=gold]That’s a loaded question. I’m 17 and on top of the world.[/color]” Victor joked, taking a long drag of the cigarette. Still not really answering the question. He began again.

“[color=gold]I’m not too good at this whole party thing. It’s probably why I’m out here, instead of down there.[/color]” He paused, pointing behind him. "[color=gold]I told them that we should have just invited our closest friends and have a barbecue. Like a normal family. But my mom and sister both insisted that we’d do this. They said that Dad wanted us to celebrate like this. It’s our first birthday since he died, you know?[/color]” 

She could do little but nod as he spoke. Joanie knew of his dislike for events like this, with her usually sharing the same opinion. Yet as he spoke and talked of his father, she realized how little she truly knew him. Despite their friendship, they had rarely spoken about his dad and what had happened. She had figured he would talk when he was ready. Given how fixated her mind had been lately, she hadn’t even considered how difficult a day Victor must’ve been having. 

“[color=goldenrod]I can’t… I can’t imagine how that must feel Vic.[/color]” She moved closer, placing her around his back and stroking the shoulder of his jacket with her thumb soothingly. Resting her head onto his arm, she embraced him tightly. Victor hugged back and was surprised by the surge of empathy coming his way. Making sure not to accidentally burn or get ash on his friend.

“[color=goldenrod]Whatever you do, he’ll be proud of you. You know that right?[/color]” 

“[color=gold]Yeah, I know. He always was.[/color]” Victor said, a faint smile on his lips and a tear in his eye. He escaped the hug and took another drag of his smoke, turning around and wiping his eye quickly.
“[color=gold]Anyway. How are you doing? I imagine this isn’t too easy for you, either.[/color]” 

It wasn’t. But she couldn’t say that now, not after everything she had just told her.

“[color=goldenrod]I’ll manage. I think.[/color]” She affirmed, hoping to God that her face wasn’t letting her down here. “[color=goldenrod]Going to just drown my sorrows and hope I don't act like a complete spaz and do something totally pathetic again.[/color]”


Stepping towards the door, an idea popped into her mind as she gave Vic one last look. 
“[color=goldenrod]Hey, maybe we could still have that quiet barbeque you wanted soon?[/color]”

Victor smiled. “[color=gold]I’d like that a lot.[/color]” He said, taking another puff of smoke. 

“[color=gold]I’ll be down soon, too. I’m sure Vanessa’s gonna worry about me. And, Jo.[/color]” He paused, looking her in the eye, making sure his well-meaning would come across. “[color=gold]Tell her how you feel. I don’t like to get too sentimental. But birthdays always remind me that time goes on and every year, there’s a lot of regrets since the last birthday.[/color]”

She pondered his words for a few moments, as what was the first genuine smile Joanie had had in days began to form across her face. Her hand moved to cover it, as by habit, but she stopped herself by running it gleefully through her hair. She was amazed that she was actually considering it. The power of the Bordeaux' family charm.

“[color=goldenrod]We’ll see.[/color]”

At that she turned on her heel, leaving Victor alone once more, and rejoined the hustle and bustle of the party.

Her journey back through the mess of alcohol and adolescence that was the rest of the house was uneventful bar the occasional greeting to a classmate or a racial jeer from one of the meathead jocks. Minus the booze, it did not feel much different than school. That was when from behind her came the enchanting voice that Joanie had been hoping with all her heart that she would hear tonight.  

“[color=#b6d7a8]Joanie, you made it![/color]” 

Her heart skipped a beat, before launching into overdrive. Trying her best not to seem erratic, Joanie turned to face Vanessa. Despite her efforts though, her cheeks flushed hot immediately as her stomach grew heavy. Joanie’s eyes took in everything. The coolness of her smile and the red of her lips. The way her hair fell over her shoulders in perfect curls. Even her outfit, while not something that Joanie would have normally been a fan of on anybody else, just felt right on her. 

It was clear that she was drunk and enjoying herself, contrasting heavily with her previous encounter with Victor. Joanie considered whether behind that cheerful persona was a soul as in pain as her brother was. 

Vanessa moved forwards and wrapped her arms around her. She regretted wearing that jumper then, longing for how it would have felt to feel Vanessa’s touch upon her skin then. They parted quickly, with Joanie stammering out a hello.

She wanted to say something cool and funny. Make her laugh. Make her think she was more than an awkward mess of emotions right now. No words came when she opened her mouth though, her brain frozen with insecurity. There was just so much she wanted to say. So much she wanted to get off her chest. 

Vanessa continued, however. 

"[color=#b6d7a8]Alan just opened up a keg in the lounge[/color]” She exclaimed, nodding her head to the doorway to their left. “[color=#b6d7a8]Wanna’ join?[/color]”

Joanie glanced in the direction that she had pointed. A large group were laughing together inside the doorway. It was made up of a number of Mather Memorial’s student royalty. They were Vanessa’s people. The complete opposite of Joanie’s. 

Victor’s words echoed in her head. She clenched her fists.

“[color=Goldenrod]No thanks, Vanessa.[/color]” Joanie could do nothing but accept the words as her truth as they came out of her mouth. She knew now that agreeing would be stupid. “[color=goldenrod]I actually… I actually have to go.[/color]”

Vanessa’s face showed an expression of disappointment, amplified by her drunken state.

“[color=#b6d7a8]Aww, well I’m sorry I never ran into you sooner![/color]” Joanie’s cheeks could only blush up once more as Vanessa apologized. As if to only further prove that she meant it, she leaned in for another hug. They stayed there in silence for a few seconds, before Vanessa pulled away, running her hand down Joanie’s arm lovingly as she did so. 

“[color=#b6d7a8]I’ll speak to you Monday![/color]” She promised, before walking away.
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