[center][hider=My Review in Blue][h1][color=0072bc][b]Menzai Isanami[/b][/color][/h1] [hider=Menzai][img]https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/318150881545682945/729161635062612068/0dfca3962f3af34fe4c0a18c0e024a701403114178_full.jpg[/img][/hider] [h3][b]Age[/b][/h3] 18 [h3][b]Guild Mark Location[/b][/h3] On the back of his left hand [b][h3]Magic Type[/h3][/b] Barrier Magic- A defensive type magic that allows the user to form protective magical energy in varying shapes, size, thickness and durability and more advanced users are even capable of altering their texture and creating more complex barrier structures. The strength of the barrier varies and depends on the user along with whether the user simply forms them through the mind and concentration while more reliable barriers are created by specially made seals on or around the designated location. Master barrier mages have found even instilling seals over their body enhances their durability and capabilities of creating more and even more so by using blood enriched in mana [color=cyan]I can tell this has been repurposed, because in Fairy Tail there is no concept of "mana" but instead its referred to as "magic power", or perhaps the direct source of it being "Ethernano", so several adjustments are gonna have to be made to this sheet's wording[/color] to further boost their strength. By placing barrier marks on the body allows for greater control and reliability but using spells with these active uses up the user's mana more than the other methods and is normally used in difficult situations or when mastered enough to be able to use less mana to create and maintain. Using blood as expected comes with the risk of bleeding though small samples or writing seals in blood add short-term boosts or has the risk of being easier to scrub away the blood created seals on locations. The strength and durability of the barrier will be indicated by the established color classes. (Menzai is currently up to red level while use of his mana rich blood and seals pushes up to purple) (Barrier Classes color-White->Blue>Green>Red>Purple>Orange>Gold) [color=cyan]I would appreciate if I could get some frame of reference to how strong each class is. White simply being the weakest doesn't really explain to me what it can successfully block, and purple being strongest also doesn't tell me what it can block. I'm gonna need some more context but you don't need to break it down mathematically or anything, just something basic that I can understand.[/color] [hider=Spells][b][h3]Spells[/h3][/b] Barrier Texture changes- Rubber: Gives the barrier a rubbery texture that allows it to take in attacks and after weakening them bounce them back though not at the level of rebound barrier. Fabric: Gives the barrier a soft fabric texture like wool made for lessening impact. Good for someone falling or to carry something delicate. Sandpaper: Gives the barrier a rough texture like sandpaper made to work on a trapped or pinned target/enemy who are resisting too much. Spike: Less a texture and more add-on to the barrier creating sharp spikes on either the inside or outside for protection or to inflict damage. Works well in tandem with compression barrier though uses up twice the amount of mana. -Bubble Barrier: Creates a small bubble barrier around the user to withstand physical and magical attack. Mainly an emergency skill to protect against sudden attacks. The barrier symbol etched on the underside of his left arm allowing near instant use as long as the user notices or senses the attack in time. Can also etch/draw the symbol on others to form the bubble around though have to be within a proximity of 25 feet of the user to activate or stay maintained. -Wall Barrier: A rectangular wall barrier of 5 inches thickness that can be drawn up in front of the user or on set locations that markers or tags are set to block an attack or to activate as a trap to surprise and stun an enemy. -Multi Layered barrier: Creating a stack of wall barriers to withstand vicious and piercing type attacks though stacking more than the user is able to handle makes the later layers flimsy and weaker and thinner. Can be done with most barrier types At current level capable of stacking up to five. -Cube Barrier: Summons up a cube shaped barrier of varying sizes depending on the amount of mana is infused into it. Used to either wrap around allies to protect against physical and magical attacks or summoned by set markers and tags to envelope enemy and targets to entrap them. [color=cyan]So this can only be used on enemies by activating seals rather than instant casts, correct?[/color] -Dome Barrier: A stronger form of cube barrier allowing it to spread out over a bigger area and capable of withstanding hits better. -Platform Barrier: Small near flat barriers the user summons up to use as platforms in order to get to higher ground or summon beneath the feet to get up to the air for strategic lay of the ground or surprise attacks. [color=cyan]Can these barriers move? And for that matter: for all of these barrier spells are their locations locked on creation or can they be moved/re-positioned?[/color] -Advanced Barrier techniques requiring purple class and up- -Rebound Barrier: Barriers that are capable of rebounding back magical and projectile attacks and causes physical attacks to bounce off. Such barriers being much more sturdy and difficult to break than normal. -Transport barrier: A barrier that envelopes around the targets and allows to transport to a different location. Requires the transport markings to be set in place in the starting and destination in order to be used and drains a fair amount of mana to use, limiting the user to three uses.( five at orange and 8 at gold level barrier users ) [color=cyan]Relating to my earlier question, do these barriers move or is it some kind of teleportation? Having to mark a start point and end point seems weird for just regular movement and is a strange prerequisite for something that simple, but it would make sense for something like teleportation. But teleportation itself wouldn't make sense for this kind of magic. My advice: make it so barrier spells in general are static and cannot be moved, with exception to this specific spell, then make this spell not require seals to move. That will streamline this spell and clarify a bit on the others.[/color] -Absorption Barrier: Unlike rebound barrier, this barrier absorbs most magical attacks and the energy from physical and projectile attacks which can be taken and used to enforce the barrier or refresh its user's mana source. Used properly allows the user extended summoning of the barrier but incapable of using other barriers when in use. [color=cyan]So there would be almost no point in using any regular barrier or even several other spells when you can use this, because it accomplishes the same purpose while also being both self-sustaining and a net gain in magic power rather than an expenditure. Either nerf this or remove this.[/color] Compression Barrier- A barrier that allows the user to shrink the barrier around a target and unlike suppression is used to crush and squeeze the target. Capable of hurting or killing the target with enough pressure. Larger the target more mana is used. [color=cyan]Give this spell a high base cost to use and I'll be okay with it.[/color] -Master Barrier techniques- (have not gained yet) [color=cyan]So I'm gonna be real, chief, and suggest you just remove the rest of the spells from this point onward because Menzai straight up doesn't have access to them. If they aren't [i]actually[/i] in his spell list then there is no purpose in putting them here. You can set them aside somewhere to draw upon later if they ever become relevant.[/color] Suppression Barrier: A barrier that can compress and shrink the targets within to the size the user designates. The larger the target the more effort and mana is needed and the stress put on the user, who if incapable of withstanding the pressure will cancel the suppression. Requires the target to be weakened or unconscious. Rebound+Absorption Barrier: A combined rebound and absorption barrier that allows it to absorb in attacks and fire back attacks amplified and doubled in power from the added energy absorbed. The user can choose when to fire back attacks or continue absorbing attacks to be used in various ways and capable of infusing the energy into allies to refill mana or stamina.-Requires gold class Ultimate Protection Barrier- Protects the user and those within from all forms of attack and magical effects, even those normally capable of bypassing barriers like time or space magic but use is restricted as it also drains its user's life force shortening their life the longer its maintained.-Requires gold class [/hider] [h3][b]Magic Rank[/b][/h3] B [h3][b]Equipment[/b][/h3] Elemental Haori: A haori made up of materials from various rare and dangerous beasts and monsters that makes the haori very resilience and capable of withstanding a lot of stress and sharp objects without tearing. Due to materials infused offers moderate protection against the basic elemental attacks whether magical or physical such as water, fire, wind and ground. The baggy sleeves affords him to hold a few small objects within them to hide and safekeep. [color=cyan]So a thick shirt, got it.[/color] Seal Tags: Tags to scribe symbols for barriers to be placed on designated spots and are made of resilient material that lets them withstand simple attacks. [h3][b]Strengths[/b][/h3] -Enhanced Hearing: Due to being a wolf canine classed half breed [color=cyan]I'll be touching on this later[/color] offers him the hearing that of a canine allowing him to hear at far farther distance and to detect sound at close range affording him to react faster than humans. -Enhanced Smell: Has the smelling strength of a canine which gains him the capability of tracking and noticing scents normally too faint for humans that could be harmful or helpful. -Magical Knowledge: Due to being from a tribe that focuses their lives on the studying and understanding of magic has afford him the capabilities to learn and understand how magic can work which can be used to create countermeasures and adjust according with his barriers to compensate. [color=cyan]nerd[/color] [h3][b]Weaknesses[/b][/h3] -Enhanced Senses drawback: Sounds or smell that normally harm or are uncomfortable to human are far more intense on him and can possibly incapacitate him depending on the intensity. -Lacks the understanding of most outside customs having lived and grown up in a very seclusive tribe which can have him use certain objects or such incorrectly and misunderstand conversations or concepts. [color=cyan]Autism, got it.[/color] - The claws on his fingers and toes sometimes make handling things and very precise motions difficult at times or accidentally harm someone by unintentionally scratching when trying to help forcing him to have to be careful with how he touches or handles things. Often leaving him to keep his arms held within the sleeves of his haori besides doing so out of a comfortable habit. [b] [h3]Personality[/h3][/b] Menzai is a very calm and straightforward person who tends to speak in a very formal and polite manner. He does not take nor handle well to joking around and rather stay on the subject or point, rarely deviating [color=cyan]oh look, I was right[/color]. He holds great respect towards magic and need to study and learn all the sorts and types of magic out there, learning how they work and how they're used [color=cyan]if he can't learn the magics themselves what point is it to learn about the magic? Does he write it all down for future reference or something?[/color]. Besides discussing subjects on magic he is mostly a quiet individual who keeps to his own business and is capable of handling and withstanding insults without losing his calm and will not hesitate to help those in need. Along with having a habit of lounging and sleeping up on a high tree branch when out traveling or hunting. [hider=Backstory]Backstory/History Born into a tribe of mixed breed of half human and half wolf [color=cyan]so in Fairy Tail it is canon that there are human-like races that are not human. These have all been their own individual races and I'm perfectly okay with a player character taking on something like this. That being said, the wording to describe Menzai's race has been bothering me because it implies that there has been some sort of cross-breeding between two existing species (human and wolf) as opposed to this species being unique to itself. I'd suggest giving this race a formal name and sticking to that to make things more clear and more in-line with the setting[/color] that has been secluded deep within one of the lesser known and explored region of the [color=cyan]there are lots of magical forests, gonna have to be more specific or change "the" to "a"[/color] magical forest in order to protect and study their knowledge on magic. Each member of the tribe are often born with the capabilities to learn magic. Because of this, every member tends to gain a proficiency in a type of magic instead of being able to learn a broad range but the level of skill they can gain and the ability to increase their mana pool better than humans offering them a slightly larger source of mana. Due to this, the tribe had designated two roles for members to be given upon reaching the age of 18. -The keepers are those who remain at the village to study and teach magic. Their job is to prepare the young ones and to help train them in controlling and using their magic. As those that remain in the village they also have the duty of protecting the grand library which holds the village knowledge and secrets on magic. -The scholars who were once those that ventured out from the village in order to seek out knowledge on magic and the other races. These beastkins [color=cyan]is this the name of this race? Personally I would've gone with "wolfmen" but that's just me[/color] are often trained and powerful mages whose purpose is to both aid others to prevent the curious and greedy from seeking out the village along with gathering knowledge to be sent back to the village. They do no take by force, however, and often make sure to receive permission before sending such to the village. Thus, these mystic wolves as they came to be called often had sought out a guild or clan or governmental agency and such to offer their aid. [color=cyan]Don't expect the Magic Council to not already know the location of this village, fyi[/color] The Mystic wolf clan has become known for producing strong and powerful mages that are capable of a wide range of magic, even the rarer types not often seen. Once sought out by those of the outside while outsiders have tried finding the hidden village for the vast magic secrets they hold. All have failed in thanks to a powerful illusion barrier that envelopes and protects and keeps from sight of those curious or intruders. Thus, to lessen the number of those seeking to find the village did they decide to create the scholars to travel out from the village. However, for some unknown reason to outsiders, the clan had stopped sending out scholars as a few hundred years passed since any had seen a member since. [color=cyan]Nevermind, I take back my previous statement. A couple hundred years is a long time, these guys are hidden.[/color] And due to this the Mystic wolves had been since turned into nothing but stories and rumors as those who encountered a scholar had all but died. It is cause of this that hardly anyone even remembers the mystic wolf tribe even existed. And Menzai part of a family that had produced especially powerful and well known scholars for a time. Ever since as a child, he had a great interest towards learning and studying magic and curious to see the outside world [color=cyan]I have to imagine this describes like 80+% of kids that grew up in this village[/color]. Yet, when the time came to discern his magical essence to be barrier magic that hope nearly seemed to be over. As most scholars often had offensive type magic, whereas he had a purely defensive one [color=cyan]boy, anyone with a little wisdom would know that barriers ain't just defense[/color] better fit for being a keeper. This did not stop the young wolf as he was determined to be the first in hundreds of years to venture forth from the village and seek out the mystery and knowledge that awaited. As the role would not be set until the coming of age of 18, he spent most of his time throughout the years studying and training especially hard with most days spent in the grand library. It was in here within the deeper parts of the library that he discovered various ways of using barrier magic and gaining him some offensive capabilities [color=cyan]case and point[/color]. Years of learning and training had resulted in Menzai becoming a very proficient barrier mage said to have the potential of surpassing the grand protector back when the village was first founded who's barrier still protects it to this day. As most barrier mages were mostly only able to reach green stage, Menzai's skill has proved to be that of a genius being able to reach red class at such a young age of 14 though through testing and experiments found that making the markings with his blood rich with mana [color=cyan]at this point I feel obligated to mention that magic power isn't really stored in blood as far as we know, but the canon is fucking wonky about details like this so it may as well be[/color] is capable of reaching purple class while at the current time somewhat unstable without full concentration. At the age of 18, he attempts the scholar trials even against the misgivings of his family and friend as no one has bothered to attempt them these past several hundreds of years. As a mana sickness that attacked the village left them weakened and nearly crippled with newer generations having little mana and incapable of producing strong magic. While over the years they have steadily healed and been recuperating yet still did not feel they were ready to resume attempting to send out scholars [color=cyan]technically a disease like this would just be a normal disease that so happens to affect how magic power is used[/color]. Menzai though thought otherwise as he was the first since to have the potential of the mages before the sickness struck and felt it was time to go out again to end the obscurity of rumored stories. Even when his magic was a defensive type, he remained determined to show the clan they were ready as the world had likely changed [color=cyan]oh boy has it[/color] and become completely different since closing themselves off. And while the trials proved difficult and dangerous that it nearly cost him his life, he succeeded and with it came the title of scholar thought to never be earned again. The council and his parents were reluctant and unsure to let him go but after much discussion and convincing was allowed to leave the village. He was warned that once he left the protection of the barrier it would be some time before he would be able to return and that he would likely be met with scrutiny and racial treatment [color=cyan]wait would his own people be racist against him or were they warning him that humans would be racist?[/color]. Yet, Menzai knew this and still chose to go, wanting to see how much the world has changed and most importantly all the new types of magic that has since been created. And after weeks of traveling and enduring the odd looks and scrutinized treatment of those who didn't understand and saw him to be a freak or dangerous, Menzai found himself at the magic guild of Fenixtear [color=cyan]among the other dangerous freaks, perfect[/color]. [/hider] [b][h3]Extras[/h3][/b] -Has sharp canine claws and teeth that can be used for attacking with swipes and vicious bite attacks or more mundane uses as opening up difficult items or even lockpicking a door and such. [color=cyan]I don't think that's how lockpicking works ngl[/color] [color=cyan]While the character is overall very solid I can't help but have several nitpicks with the sheet that need to get cleared up. The biggest one being terminology things, such as Menzai's race and replacing "mana" with more appropriate, setting-specific terms like "magic power" or "Ethernano" depending on the specific context you mean. I like the concept of his history but you belted this out pretty fast and it shows so you might wanna clean it up just a little bit. There are a few things that need to be addressed with the magic and spells as well. Once you do these things give me a ping either here or on Discord and I'll accept Menzai.[/color] [/hider] [/center] [@samreaper]