[h2]Feedback Hour[/h2]

[sup]Keeping it simple here, always happy to discuss in the Server any issues or ideas etc etc.....
It's v. late so I'll post the first two and I shall be working on the rest tomorrow :) [/sup]

[@Spoopy Scary]

[hider Venwen]

[b]Those who've read of the cheerful ferocity of the Green Pact bosmer can pick out those traits rather quickly in Venwen, who carries herself proudly and casually, while simultaneously stalking -- not walking -- in a perpetual fox-trot and reminding you with her smile that she is religiously carnivorous, as indicated by a showing of half of her teeth that have been filed down to points as sharp as her ears.[/b]

Lovely imagery that is as thought out as all of your appearance sections are! Gives a good insight into much about her. 

[b]She stands at a meager 5'2" and weighs as little as eight stones. [/b]

Not sure if this is purposeful, but if you’re thinking the actual weight it would be stone. If you’re actually talking about stones… Then teehee. 

[b]She asserts herself as a hunter and a predator with a huge grin on her face and relishes in the possibility of conflict like any good adrenaline junkie would, and witnessing such an event has been compared to a manic dancing amidst chaos. If you can't help but wonder if the madness of Sheogorath has taken hold, either rest assured or with great anxiety (according to your preference) that Venwen is entirely lucid in these cases.[/b]

Slightly disconcerting, but okay!

Great sheet, as always Spoopy. I appreciate the care you put into the personality section which feeds a lot into the lore of Bosmer that I know you’ve been itching to write for a long time. I hear your concerns about her being just a “lore character”, but I have to disagree with it. Venwen clearly has levels and depths to her, that it would be unfair to write her off without having written a post as her yet. 

I think that there is much to explore with her, and it’s up to you to assert that as you continue to discover her along the way. This is a *big* cast so far, but I do not think that she will be lost in it. You are a fantastic writer, and you can absolutely make her shine when you just [i]have fun with it[/i].

As Light Armour is more of a passive skill, I’ll allow it to slip through as well. She’s very well-rounded. 

There are a few grammatical issues on the sheet you could combover, but I’m not too fussed either way. 

[b]Please feel free to move her across to the character tab.[/b]

[/hider]

[@Hank]

[hider Inanna]


[b]Her mannerisms can best be described as unhurried and unbothered. Ina grew up in poverty in the Grey Quarter and even though she’s picked up some more metropolitan habits during her time with the Synod in Cyrodiil, she still vastly prefers to be comfortable over presentable and has no qualms with sitting down on the floor with her legs pulled up or taking off her shoes to walk barefoot over a field of grass. Ina is often seen smoking the hackle-lo leaf of her native Morrowind while she works, the smell of which mixes with the perfume she wears for a rich, smoky fragrance. If hackle-lo isn’t available, she’ll resort to chewing or fidgeting with something instead. Never one to hurry while walking, she’s equally relaxed when sitting down and her speech, spoken with a husky and resonant voice, tends to be just as languid. After a few drinks, Ina becomes significantly more familiar and handsy in a casual, flirtatious way, and her normally stoic gaze gains a salacious quality.[/b]

This is a nice piece of writing which really feels like Ina. Gentle, careful, clever, light. 

We have already discussed the backstory, and I gave some pointers when you first shared the sheet but I will share again my sentiments that Ina feels like a very well thought out, beautiful character. She feels mature for you in a way I haven’t seen you explore yet so I’m looking forward to seeing it. Appreciate the sensitivity which you displayed in writing her experience with suicide and something I look forward to is that coming up throughout the roleplay - this is actually something I’ve not really seen explored in an Elder Scrolls roleplay and there’s a lot of potential there I think for some thought-provoking, emotional moments. 

A nitpick, is that you have 8 spells when 7 is more the starting standard - and telekinesis is an adept level spell, when you have Alteration listed as a novice ability. You could look to restructure that to be more in line with her backstory which might be to swap destruction or restoration for alteration.

Have a think about that, and then feel free to [b]post in the character tab[/b]

[/hider]