The empty spaces in her heart began to fill with a different kind of light. Hunger! Fire! The keys to changing the world! Because she wanted to have a changed world - she wanted to close her eyes and wish and have it all be different. Instead she had to channel that dissatisfaction. She had to get mad! Be a fighter! Want things bad enough to be okay with trampling over other people's dreams!

It was easy to think this way under the eyes of the Cat. She was never good at saying no. She was never good at letting people down. She'd gone through all of this, today, so that she could be the kind of person the Cat wanted her to be. Once she understood the shape of that person she could strive to be it. If she didn't take action that meant she was satisfied with how things were! And she wasn't! She wasn't satisfied! She was mad! And hungry! And that meant she was going to get the things she wanted! Because that was the only way she'd be able to make everyone happy!

That's right. She just needed to work harder. She needed to do whatever it took. Strength. Speed. Turn this uncoordinated mess of doubt and uncertainty around and [i]train[/i]. Her shield to this point had been a heavy, massive tower shield almost as tall as she was, a castle to cower behind - now it shifted, becoming smaller and lighter and more evenly balanced. Her sparring changed as well - still defensive, but not rigid, not craven. Not afraid to retaliate. More sparring. More weights. Harder! Faster! She'd show them all how much she wanted their smiles! She hadn't been vigilant enough! She hadn't been strong enough! She just needed to be stronger.

She felt like a werewolf. Senses alight. Heart pounding. Muscles letting her know that they were in pain but that they could keep going if she needed them. And she did. There was too much to do to slow down now. She needed to keep going until everything was fixed.