Sorry that this took a while but I believe I fixed most of what you wanted to fix. My grammar is still is a bit rough I know this, but I think things fit now. [hider=Tenshi Hokori 2.0- Updated][center][img]https://em.wattpad.com/6a4f246f6352b75637aea78d54a2ee3de5a81773/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f47316b4d6f794d396e4b374378413d3d2d3536322e3135656362356231666332663464353233353634333834333730382e6a7067[/img][/center] [center][color=slategray]╔══════════════════════╗[/color][/center] [indent][color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] N a m e [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue]Tenshi Hokori[/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] A g e / B i r t h d a y [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue]21/June[/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] G e n d e r [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue]Male[/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] B o d y T y p e [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue]Shinny muscular.[/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] V i l l a g e [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue]Now: Konoha : 'Ambassador' from Kumogakure[/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] C l a n [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue]No Clan[/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] F a m i l y [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue]Father:N/A Mother: N/A Siblings: None Others: His Adopted Family is that of the Raikage's family. His adoptive mother is the Raikage, and her son the next decided Raikage is his adopted brother [/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] R a n k [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue]Chunin[/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] T a i l e d B e a s t [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue]Gyuki the Eight tail's future jinchuuriki[/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] S p e c i a l S t a t u s [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue]Cloud Village ambassador[/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] T i t l e s / N i c k n a m e s [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue]Tenshi- the thousand sword master[/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] P e r s o n a l i t y [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue] Tenshi is an easy going guy outside of missions and battle. He slacks off and often is found eatting, drinking or sleeping on his off time, but when he is assigned to a mission its like a switch goes off he gets serious. In battle Tenshi is a quick thinker, but often acts on his first thoughts. Tenshi is ambitious but often is lost in his thoughts dealing with his obligations with his village. knowing what the plans are for him in the future, Tenshi dreads the future but does accept things that must happen. Tenshi has a major procrastination problem because of this trait of disliking what is to come for him. He also has a strong sense of morality, beliving to do what he thinks is right. Even willing to defend his way at first by words, then by his swords to keep things going the way he believe is the right way. [/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] L i k e s [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue][color=slategray]✖[/color] [color=slategray]✖- [/color] - Swords [color=slategray]✖ [/color] - Food [color=slategray]✖ [/color] - Fighting [color=slategray]✖ [/color] -Tigers [/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] D i s l i k e s [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue][color=slategray]✖[/color] [color=slategray]✖- [/color] - The plans for his own future from his original village [color=slategray]✖ [/color] - Slugs [color=slategray]✖[/color] - Most Kage [color=slategray]✖[/color] -Losing to any one who wields a sword [/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] N i n d o [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue]"My future might be decided, but I will make the most of everything I will do until then. And after, I will carved my own fate![/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] B i o g r a p h y [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue] Born on the outskirts of Kumogakure Tenshi was a war orphaned child who was adopted by the Raikage. He was only a child without any family when he befriended the Raikage's son, but that wasnt what got Tenshi adopted into the Raikage's family. He saved the the Raikage's son's life. An incident occurred where the eight tails ran amok within the village. Her son was sent originally to a 'safe' place but he didnt sit still. They were ten and eight years olds Tenshi had just started studying to become a shinobi with the Raikage's son.Her son instead of running tried to fight the tailed beast, wanting to prove he could defend the village to his mother prove his worth. Yet this ended as one could expect when a novice who was still learning to be a shinobi. Second guessing himself in the attack didnt help either, but Tenshi saved his life, by literally dragged him to safety. As he by dragged into and through buildings trying to get away from the tailed beasts rampage. Tenshi was hit by flying rumble and nearly crushed under a house but the Raikage's son his friend was safe. Tenshi was on the verge of death, but was saved by the Raikage and other cloud shinobi. But he saved her son. He was soon adopted into the family, as a favor for saving the Raikage's son's life. Unlike her son Tenshi was a lot more sure of himself, and rather then wait for the Raikage's approval and second guess himself he acted and let his actions prove what he could do. Almost like a rival Tenshi grew up quickly taking a more direct approach at times. He didnt spare with other students he sparred with genin. He often lost early on but he could hold his own for a little while. Kenjutsu was his specialty, he even had a knack for using a singular lightning jutsu. Which helped him keep his own against people stronger than him. Once he became a genin he did start winning these fights To much of the Raikage's surprise he even challenged her to spar. At first his challenges werent taken even remotely serious. But Tenshi was consistent on the challenges. the first fight the Raikage beat him with a single move. That didnt stop him from further challenges, Tenshi lost every time. She even berated him for wasting her time, but his skills improved quickly. One fight took an hour and he almost hit her once, the response she put him in the ground and hard. Tenshi did make a vow though after that fight that one day he will win one of these sparring sessions. His relationship with the Raikage improved if one could say that while he grew more distant with her son. The more acknowledgement he received even if it was to beat him to a pulp in a sparring session he was still acknowledged by her. This brought distant and a bit of jealousy. Tenshi never really sparred much with his adoptive brother after the eight tails incident, not to the extent he does with other shinobi. This also created even more distance between the two as they grew up. Tenshi's views on the world are different then his adoptive mother, and rather strongly so. He always questioned things which was more of an annoyance but when he was told to drop the situations he did as he always did as he was told. The alliance with the stone was one he questioned. He didnt agree with the alliance as he didnt trust the stone village, the leaf and sand were more trust worthy to him and those thoughts often got heated arguments with his adoptive mother. They were her enemies and Tenshi was willing to side with them over who are suppose to be her allies. His skills awarded him to become the next jinchuuriki in the future but his difference on views is what gave him his current mission. Tenshi was trying to get the Raikage to make peaceful dealings with Konoha. His views were taboo and even much so to the Raikage who lived through a war against them. After extensive arguments, and after one that got violent, Tenshi was given a 'mission' to go to Konoha. The mission told to Tenshi was he was to go to the leaf as an ambassador for his village. Even was given a stern talking to about the 'importance' he was to be there to keep the affairs of Kumo in line with what Konoha does in their village. Everything Tenshi was told was his plan of brokering peace. This was sort of a lie given to Tenshi, while sending him into the leaf village with the disguise of peace, the Raikage was getting Tenshi into the village as a her eyes in the village. As Tenshi is suppose to make reports back. Getting an ally close to a hostile, who would do anything that was ordered of them. Even if she told Tenshi originally one thing but decided to give him the order to assassinate someone later on. The Raikage knows Tenshi would do as he told. Also should he be questioned about why he was sent on his current mission, Tenshi wouldnt know the real mission he was on. [/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] N a t u r e s [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue]Lightning[/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] T a l e n t s [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue][List] Kenjutsu Expert- He is very good with a sword or multiple swords or bladed weaponry. He might consider himself a master, he has a long way to go before he is a master. Very good Cook Lots of Endurance [/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] J u t s u [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue] The Lightning Release: Lariat is a powerful taijutsu technique whereby the user charges at their opponent, striking them with a Lariat move, which can be coated in chakra. A successful strike can blow away a target's entire chest with a direct hit, which may not kill them right away, but will ultimately kill them if they are not treated. The attack is rather straightforward, but very quick, powerful and is easily capable of knocking down an opponent. Lightning Release: Shadow Clone Technique: This technique allows the user to make a shadow clone infused with lightning. Because it is a shadow clone, it is able to perform techniques and interact with the environment. If the clone is injured, it will revert to its natural lightning-state, at the same time electrocuting whatever makes contact with it. Unlike a regular shadow clone, however, it does not send chakra back to the user upon reverting to lightning. Cloud-style- Front Beheading: The user swings their sword in a single quick and powerful cutting motion to attack an enemy in front of them. Lightning Armor Cloud Styling Front Beheading- Assisted from the lighting armor technique the swords Tenshi use become imbued with lightning chakra. his quick swing leaves a an electrical slash that slashes outwards after the attack. Giving a little more range to his plain forward slashing attack. The attack can cut through some thin metals Cloud-Style- Reverse Beheading: The user does a powerful spin, generating the momentum needed to slash at any opponents behind them. The user can also utilize this spinning motion to trick an enemy that's in front of them. The enemy is fooled into thinking the user will attack them, but instead the user attacks the targets behind the user Lightning Armor/Weapon Enhancement- Tenshi's big thing is streaming his chakra through his body and converting into lightning chakra. Learning from the Raikage of sorts, but Tenshi cant cover his entire body, only small portions. Through his legs he can make his speed boost upwards, but leaves his upper half open, but he can cover his torso giving him defense but he isnt moving much, or he can cover his arms giving himself assisted attacks. One Hundred Sword Summoning- Using Scrolls- Using a item summoning jutsu Tenshi and used his storage scrolls to summon one hundred swords to surround a battle field for Tenshi to use. Sword Scroll Summon- Using the item scrolls to summon one or two swords at a time. He can do this to keep pulling new swords until the scrolls are either empty or until he just stops summoning more swords. [/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] W e a p o n s A n d T o o l s [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue] Ten Ninja storage scrolls- with one hundred swords 1 wooden training sword A bag of standard ninja gear. [/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] F i g h t i n g S t y l e [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue] Tenshi's combat is heavily kenjutsu based. Using swords or using the training sword to start up a battle. But when he starts to get serious he starts using his summoning scrolls to summon one hundred swords into a battle field to surround his opponents with his swords. Often he will duel wield in these fields of swords using his fast speeds to perform sword combos using everything he surrounds his opponents. Often using Lightning chakra and his jutsu's to assist his sword play. [/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [color=slategray] ✖ ‖[/color] P l a y e d B y [indent][indent][indent][color=lightblue]Bladess4[/color][/indent][/indent][/indent] [/indent][/hider]