Holding in her emotions she watched Cas as she felt like the deflection had worked, briefly relieved that the attention had diverted from her and onto him as she had asked how he was doing and about the rocky relationship with his father. Knowing that alone would be more than enough information to focus on and was a perfect excuse not to go into her own emotions, but that didn’t mean she didn’t care about how he was feeling. In truth she wanted to know, she wanted to help him in any way she could and if she could offer a shoulder, she would within a heartbeat no question about it. 

Watching as he began to answer her own question, she smiled softly at the gentle contact feeling his head lean against hers as he began to explain a little about his family. Closing her eyes as he began to talk, she quietly listened letting him open up to her, offering support where she could with a gentle placement of her hand on his leg reassuring him that she was there. Thinking about his father’s paranoia she wondered how it all started, was it a part of the grief he had experienced when Caspians mother passed away? It was interesting to hear about how he had practically kicked out family, but a part of her wasn’t surprised. Not with what she had been hearing and she had yet to see a caring side from the monarch and was beginning to doubt there even was that side to him, though deep down she hoped there was because hearing the hurt from Cas was upsetting. 

Frowning as she felt him lace their fingers together, she squeezed his hand, not really knowing what to say just yet because it was a lot to unload. [color=f49ac2]“I can’t even begin to understand it myself, but… I am sure he does care about you… in his own way?”[/color] Sighing herself as she knew no matter what she said on the matter wouldn’t b able to fix it. Falling silent as he mentioned Bel Bicis, something she had nearly forgotten about and she couldn’t help but feel a little uncomfortable at the mention of his psychiatrist who had deemed him mentally unwell because he continued to fight for her. [color=f49ac2]“Maybe that’s his way of showing he cares? It was probably a shock finding you missing.”[/color] Reaching up with her other hand she touched his cheek gently caressing the skin trying to offer some form of comfort as she could feel the hurt, the emotion this was stirring inside of him. 

[color=f49ac2]“Why didn’t you tell me?”[/color] Iris couldn’t help but whisper at the mention of the dead bodies that haunted him, already knowing it was rich coming from her with her own emotions that she liked to try and hide from him. [color=f49ac2]“It’s okay.”[/color] Squeezing his hand again knowing this was not an easy fix, the trauma he had gone through, that they had both experienced. Though she knew the kind of imprint the dead could leave behind, feeling bad that she hadn’t asked him sooner about it because everything had been so fast. [color=f49ac2]“There was nothing you could do for them though; you have to know that, or it will continue to eat you alive.”[/color] Trying to offer a smile as she looked up at him holding him in her arms hoping she could offer him some comfort, feeling a little better when she saw his half-smile. [color=f49ac2]“I’ll always help you through it, I’m always happy to listen and try to help you Cas, don’t forget that.”[/color]

As Iris began to settle in his arms comfortably, she felt her own face drop, her hold on him loosened as she heard his words. [i]Her turn[/i]. Something she didn’t expect to be brought back around and she knew she shouldn’t keep it from him. Not when this was the second time being called out on it. [color=f49ac2]“I-I… I’m fine. I told you this.”[/color] Whispering at first as she felt herself fidget in his arms trying to think of a way to wrangle out of it again. Though Cas was right, he had poured out his own emotions to her and she should do the same, she knew deep down she wouldn’t be burdening him with it, but it was difficult. Without even thinking she buried her head into his chest, hands gripped at the material of his clothing as she tried to hold back the tears already knowing she was at tipping point. [color=f49ac2]“I’m… not okay.”[/color] It was barley a whisper as she held back a sob that followed, finally admitting to him that she was not as fine as she tried to make out to be. 

[color=f49ac2]“I… I don’t even know where to begin. The kidnap, Bel Bicis… the rebels…”[/color] Feeling her heart begin to race as she touched upon a few things he had already mentioned, [color=f49ac2]“Then… the Capital. T-That. Drug… his death, my father.”[/color] It was all a blubbering mess as she could barely string together a sentence, the tears falling as she couldn’t stop them as everything started to pour out of her that she had been holding back for a long time.