[color=#b97703]“I know he does, it’s just hard to remember that when he doesn’t show it in ways that make me feel like it’s true,”[/color] Caspian exhaled when Iris tried to reassure him about his father. He’d tried many times to express to Atlas that he felt unappreciated and unvalued as a son, but the king never seemed to get it. Either his father didn’t understand that his constant critiques and controlling behavior were draining him or he didn’t care. He hoped it was the former, because the latter would be crushing.

When she asked why he didn’t tell her about the corpses he’d seen in Bel Bicis, he just shrugged. He’d kept it to himself for a lot of reasons, the main one being that they had simply been too busy trying to stay alive to discuss any of the things they were experiencing along the way. When he’d seen the bodies, they had been searching for shelter and running away from her father, when they had been in the apartment, they’d barely had half an hour to relax before the bombs had dropped, and they’d had to run to escape. When they had moved on from there, they had been exhausted and needed to find a new place to take refuge before the rebels caught them. After that, they had actually been captured, and he’d nearly been killed by Ethan. Even if he’d wanted to tell her about his ghosts, there had never been a good time to do it.

[color=#b97703]“I know I can’t change what happened to them,”[/color] he agreed with a faint nod, bringing his free hand up to rub his eyes. [color=#b97703]“It’s less about that and more about… well… let me put it this way. It was one thing to see a bunch of corpses on the ground and be able to detach emotionally. I didn’t know any of those people personally, who they were, what they were like, what they did for a living. None of it. I just saw dead bodies of total strangers that made me uncomfortable and a little horrified, but it was different with those two because I got a glimpse into their lives. When I saw the photo, it made me realize they were real people who had been happy and totally innocent before they were… killed.”[/color]

He swallowed hard and took a slow breath to keep his emotions in check. [color=#b97703]“I mean, for God’s sake, we were in their [i]apartment[/i]. We saw where they lived, what they ate for lunch, how they liked to decorate. It was just a lot to take in, and that’s what really got me… It hurts to know that the smiling faces in that picture belong to the corpses in the plaza.”[/color] It also hurt to think about it again, so he fell quiet, focusing on fighting off the urge to let go of the tears that threatened to spill over. He was far from okay and, being a more emotional person, probably would have bawled his eyes out if he’d been alone. However, he had opened up to Iris to convince her to do the same with him. Right now, he had to be the strong one, so she could feel comfortable breaking down without feeling like she was overwhelming him. He could let go another time.

And it turned out that his idea had worked because after one last halfhearted attempt to convince him that she was fine, Iris dissolved into tears. Caspian held her close and closed his eyes as she cried into his chest. It was painful to hear her so upset, but he was glad that she had finally trusted him enough to let down her walls. He didn’t have any words to comfort her either, so he just sat quietly while the sobs wracked her, gently rubbing his hand up and down her back. They had both been to hell and back in their own ways, it seemed. Listening to her cry just reaffirmed his desire to make sure that she never went through that kind of pain again. He loved her and wanted her to be happy, not breaking down in his arms.

Awkwardly, that was the moment their breakfast arrived too. He opened his eyes and glanced at the door when he heard the knock on the other side. After waiting for another few seconds for the person outside to leave, he turned back to Iris, [color=#b97703]“Sorry, I need to grab that really quick.”[/color] Disentangling himself from her, he jogged over to the door and brought their food cart inside, wheeling it over to the coffee table to set down their trays. However, before he uncovered either of the dishes from their silver domes, he sat back down on the sofa and wrapped her up in a tight embrace.

[color=#b97703]“We’re a right mess, aren’t we?”[/color] he smiled at her sadly and pressed a kiss to her cheek. [color=#b97703]“You can tell me about what’s going on when you feel ready, okay? Do you want to take a few minutes to think about it and eat first? So you’re calm enough to talk.”[/color]