Alright, time to get up some reviews for some goats.

[center][img]https://i.imgur.com/o3rwkeg.png[/img][/center]

[sub]That’s “greatest of all times” for the youngunz.[/sub]

VIOLENCE:

[hider=+]I liked how the story was framed. I wasn’t sure if I was going to like all the random back and forth, but I think it did ramp up the tention as you went along. You knew something bad was going to happen, and you didn’t really know what it was. Sprinkling in details about Ed and Tammy as the ritual’s completion came closer was also a nice touch. 

I think the story’s weakness was some of the weird word choices. In regards to word choice, the worst offender has to be where they “carried [u]the limp Jewel[/u] down the isle.” I mean, it works, but there are better options. The unconscious woman, Jewel’s body, even just Jewel is less cumbersome than “the limp Jewel.” [/hider]

THE SCREAM:

[hider=+]I really like character driven stories, so naturally I enjoyed the conversation between Gabe and Sarah. Aside from the sis thing, the dialog was mostly believable and interesting. Skeptic Gabe and “nah fam” Sarah.

I wasn’t sure what the story was building up to, but what we got was kind of “eh.” Horror is tricky, and it needs to be handled a lot differently in literature than it does a movie. Rather than go for swift scares, written horror need to build up a sense of dread that stays with the reader. There wasn’t any build up to ghost girl. She just kind of appeared and enslaved them. [/hider]

PIETY:

[hider=+]There’s a fairly good build up in this one. I can’t articulate it at this hour, but the priest was given one of the best introductions come this contest. The dread built itself up over his entire introduction, like any good horror story should strive to do.

Which is why it’s a little sad to admit the last part of the story didn’t grab me. It was weird to have the perspective of the story go from this legend about a creepy priest to “me” entering his abode. Conceptually I like it, but I think it would have been less jarring to have some other character trying to learn what happened, only to get jumped by the creepy priest. [/hider]

THE LIGHT THAT LEAVES NO DARKNESS:

[hider=+]I think what I liked about this one was that while it clearly wasn’t the spookiest story submitted, it was consistent. It did piled on intrigue and just kept building up more and more, higher and higher. We follow a nameless woman into a church, she talks to a ghost, and then she goes into the basement. There are bones, she commences a ritual, and the whole while we’re trying to figure out what she’s doing, who the voice actually is, etc. It might not have been conventional horror, but I feel like it did what it set out to do. There’s even some ambiguity as to whether the people in black coats were good people or not. 

The only negative thing I could say about it is that I wish the story felt more complete. That it filled in some of the unknowns and tried to tell a proper story. But I’m hesitant to say that because I also feel like if I understood it all, it might not be as interesting. Enough was revealed for the reader to make their own opinions about the story. [/hider]

THE GHOST IN THE HOUSE:

[hider=+]Did you write this, [@Calle]? I’d almost bet money that you did! Well, doesn’t matter who wrote it, here goes!

Much like the scream, this story features a bunch of characters with differing personalities. I liked how they were all characterized and OMG I love me some banter so that was cool. A frequently overlooked tool in horror is using lighthearted moments to lul the reader into a sense of security before pouring dread all over them.

This story didn’t go that route.

And I don’t even think it was trying to spook. Every chance it had to ramp up the tention, the ghost expert would explain away any danger. But my ability to enjoy a halloween story does not hinge on it’s ability to be spooky (unless that feels like the goal). Instead, I’m going to draw attention to how redundant some of the descriptors were for the dialog.

[quote]
“Cards?” Ethan asked. 

“You okay there, Ben?” Ethan asked

“What’s wrong?” Mike asked

“Are you seeing things again?” Ethan asked.

“What is a wandering spirit?” Mike asked.

“Have you seen that happen?” Mike asked as he put his cards down;

“Do you think we should investigate this village?” Mike asked.

“Anything we can do?” Mike asked.

“Didn’t that guy say something about unholy laughter in the church?” Ethan asked.

“Can you help her?” Mike asked.
[/quote]

There are only so many words in the English language to replace “said”, but this stood out to me. I don’t think it was the volume of times "asked" was used, but how close together some of these instances were.  
[/hider]