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[B][U]FLASHBACK[/u][/b]
Optional Read[/center]

[Color=lightblue]"We can keep up!"[/color] Darius exclaimed after chugging down a very unbalanced mixture of alcohol and soda from a glass. The young man smiled amongst others within a loud hotel room before nodding to another guy across the way. [Color=lightblue]"Right?"[/color]

[Color=tan]"Of course. We gotta give these guys the head start in something."[/color] Vic, a guy who was also in his early twenties answered. He had a bulkier build, but was better dressed than the rest of the group. He and Darius had been friends for several months now. Vic was one of Darius' first clients in his shoddy personal training business. Sure, it was poor business to hang out with a client, but the two cliqued. Vic was able to introduce Darius to clients that would pay top dollar, and Darius was great company to bring to all sorts of parties and gatherings. Darius was generally familiar with some of the faces present in the expensive hotel room from previous functions. Some were past or potential clients, while others were past and potential hookups. The pregame was always a good time, but it never beat the party. The whole group was supposed to bar hop in the notorious Ybor City, but there was rumor of a potential party on someone's boat as well. 

Though the evening seemed like the perfect night to go wild, Darius had very pressing obligations the following afternoon. His brother's wedding. He had sold John some excuse about meeting a few clients as his reason for missing the rehearsal today. 

[Color=tan]"Mix us another one of those!"[/color] Vic shouted. Darius' excuse to John was not a complete lie. Despite accepting the flimsy excuse, John did feel like Darius was just shirking the rehearsal. Either way, the younger of the brothers planned to have them both get a win within the next 24 hours. Darius would get his perfect night and John would have his perfect day. It was simple, he just had to pace himself...

It was simple, yet it was not done. Not done in the slightest.

With a groan, Darius found himself wincing at the sun's brightness as he rolled over. He used his arm to shield his eyes as he continued to groan. His  head was throbbing and his body felt like a pile of shit. The worst part was the perpetual rocking movement. It was making the hangover a hundred times worse. Confusion was momentary. [Color=lightblue][i]The boat![/i][/color] However, the feeling of concern was longer lasting. [Color=lightblue][i]The wedding![/i][/color]

[Color=lightblue]"Fuck! No no no. What time is it? Fuck! Shit…"[/color] His watch's hands signaled a quarter till one. He sighed as he sloppily got up into a kneeling position. He couldn't bring himself to stand up for the fear he might fall over. He saw a few others in the same state he had just been in, just lying on the deck of a boat. A boat afloat about a mile from the dock. He pulled out his phone. The blank off screen made him feel hopeless. He held the power button. [Color=lightblue][i]Nothing…[/i][/color] He sighed and shut his eyes for a moment, as if life would somehow take him from here and to where he needed to be.

Not today.

He tried making his way over to the helm, but had a hunch his effort were fruitless at this point.

[Color=lightblue][i]I'm… I'm a piece of shit. I'm so...[/i][/color] Darius couldn't think of the right word in his current state of mind or maybe he was just too afraid to think it. No one ever wants to admit just exactly how flawed and screwed up they might be. That disgusting side of them. The part that no matter how big or insignificant, it is never completely acknowledged by its owner.

He braced himself on whatever he could get his hands on as he approached the helm. Where he could see someone lying on the ground with a black buccaneer hat atop his head. Darius shook his head and tightly shut his eyes again [Color=lightblue][i]I'm the best man… They're probably calling me… but I can't… I probably couldn't even face him anyway.[/i][/color] Darius took a seat on the ground and just stared off towards the bay with empty eyes. Perhaps he never wanted to attend in the first place. 

He blinked a few times, the tears threatened to escape his eyes. He shut them.

[Color=lightblue][i]I'm always in his shadow… Always... Always watching him just do so well. I can't even be a good second place.[/i][/color] Darius let his eyes open before burying his face in his hands. The tears of shame and guilt flowed from his eyes. To be something… anything. It was a desire he felt might never be satiated. The young man sobbed silently on the boat, wishing he that he could have been better.

Darius never made it to John and Erica's wedding. Many friends and family members called hours on end for him, but only managed to reach his voicemail. His inbox held messages of confusion, anger, worry, and lastly, disappointment.

When he entered his apartment he walked straight to the bedroom, placed his dead phone on the charger, and collapsed onto his bed. He was afraid to face the shame of his actions. To be so careless in making decision that led up to missing his brother's special day only meant he was… he finally found the word that fit.

[Color=lightblue][i]Selfish.[/i][/color]