Round two of the CS reviews is here.

[@Forett] for Sol’Kureth
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So earlier today I remember we had a conversation trying to discuss and define what sort of powers your scion would actually have, and I think you made the decision to inch away from the necromancy a bit and more towards the corruption of the land.

It doesn’t look like you’ve gotten a chance to update your CS to clarify this yet. Based on what we talked about I think that your ideas and general themes will be acceptable though, once you’ve ironed it out here. Until then I’ll hold off on giving a final evaluation.

What I will say right now is that besides that, I can see some other cleanup that’s necessary.

The formatting of your sheet is somewhat confusing because the ‘Myth’ at the top isn’t the sort of narrative myth that we were looking for; you don’t get into that until a ways further down, and then you launch into it suddenly without much transition or separation from the rest of the sheet. I’d recommend solving this by just axing the entire top portion altogether and then just trying to put the relevant and important details into the narrative myth somehow, because it reads more like a bio. Alternatively you could just put the top part that’s more descriptive than narrative into a separate hider as some others have done; see the ‘Lore’ hider in Termite’s post on the characters tab of this thread for an example of this.

As far as the narrative goes, you start off strong enough (it’s odd that a human is running around on Skull Island by himself, but you at least partially explain that by saying where he’s at not even the trolls like to go) and my obligatory little nitpicking is just that you say Gold port instead of Goldport. But those things in the beginning are minor issues; much bigger is that around halfway through you switch from a more conventional past-tense narration into almost nonstop usage of the conditional tense, and I’m not quite sure why. You go from saying he did X, he saw X, to Y [b]would[/b] happen, he [b]would[/b] say Y, etc. Overusing the conditional tense like that shouldn’t be done on the IC and so I’d like it if you’d alter that part of your myth accordingly.
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[@Pagemaster] for the Orphan Twins
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I’ll start by giving you praise for the worldbuilding done here, giving the Slakte their demonym and establishing some of their culture with this exile and banishment (both of which seem fitting for the Danish vibe that Oraculum had when writing out that part of the world).

Beyond that the myth is rather basic, giving us just what information is needed and not much more. That’s fine though; I really do like that you’re doing things in Twenty Halls and I think the theme that you’re going for is a good one with lots of potential too. Hopefully the short myth just means you’re saving much of your storytelling for the IC.

For suggestions I might establish early on any additional powers or strange properties that their artifact weapons possess -- I know you already said they’ve granted the twins enhanced physicality and that they are sharp and unbreakable, but as pieces of the Chernobog’s body they could do so much more than that. In particular I’d like to see some of their corrupting effects, because their power certainly wouldn’t come free of consequences, but I think from your Norsca inspiration that you’re probably thinking along the same lines as me.

Sheet’s accepted!
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[@Vec] for Manzallu
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Poor Arwen can’t get a break, can he?

We discussed the alchemy things that you wanted to do a bit. Even though we don’t really see much of the potential of these powers in your myth because this possession of Arwen’s body is the only example shown, I’m not too worried. The nature of alchemy that you show means that it should fit in well with our conception of magic for this setting, where ritual and preparation are crucial elements, even if it does end up having potentially really powerful effects.

The most substantial complaints I can give are that we don’t really know where this is taking place (and by extension where you intend to start out) or why your character has the title ‘Eternal Wanderer’, but those things should be easy enough to depict IC and they’re not very crucial at the end of the day.

You don’t get to escape the fate of having me wag a finger at you for having a few typos, but the prose and storytelling was good and this sheet is definitely acceptable.
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More to come tomorrow, when I can rouse my henchman Ora!