Time for another round of reviews! Most of these were written in a groggy haze, so if you see anything less than cohesive in there blame it on that (no, that doesn't mean the verdicts are negotiable). [@Fetzen] for Vaught [hider] A solid sheet overall, and a good showing of the kind of writing we can hopefully expect in the IC, which I personally find every bit as important as the character being described. There are a couple of typos scattered about (like "childs"), but that's a very minor thing, and it's clear they are exceptions more than the norm. I did spot an anachronism, though ("blueprint"). Regarding Vaught himself, the information given looks enough to make a start. There's no clearly spelled out motivation for him to do much beyond staying out of the way at the start, though I gather the hint about him not having come into his full potential yet might be a hook. It's not made fully obvious either what his abilities are, but the scene gives a good enough idea. The one thing which stood out as a bit odd to us was the concept of the primordial chaos as a universal force. Ultimately, though, it's a minor concern, and wholly fine as some character speculation. Consider the sheet accepted. [/hider] [@Sophrus] for Mortan [Hider] Short and to the point. I must admit that when I thought up the myth section I didn't expect anyone to write a poem for it, and it's been a pleasant enough surprise to see someone come at it from that angle. The meter is a bit off in a couple of places, but I'm not [i]that[/i] pedantic that I'll make a problem of it. The only thing that I'd say looked off was that stray "account by a priest" caption which seems a leftover from a previous version; the poem reads more along the lines of a folk nursery rhyme. Otherwise, we've already discussed your starting plans and other things, and everything that's needed seems to be set. Feel free to post it over in the character tab. [/hider] [@Leotamer] for Cucaniensis [Hider] As I think I might have mentioned before, I like the idea of a tempter spirit disguising itself as a priestly figure - the "devil in the nunnery" and his ilk are a classic of medieval folklore, and it wouldn't feel out of place in the setting. With that said, I find there is room for improvement in the execution. The tone of the myth feels somewhat like a flat description camouflaging itself as a narrative; I understand the intent of the elder monk is to be didactic, but he does not impart much of a personal flair to his words, making it feel at times like he's blankly reciting facts. Another problem is that it's not made clear what exactly it is that Cucaniensis does. It's said he grants boons to people, but not how or of what kind. That sort of detail is important and worth hashing out on the Discord if the parameters and constraints of the power can’t be clearly established in the myth. Similarly we’d like more details concerning the toll he takes on victims, and the anecdote given is rather confusing as to his role in the debacle.  There are likewise a number of typos to be fixed, and some consistent punctuation issues (notably with the dialogue punctuation, where a quote ending in a period is followed by "he said"). Overall, the sheet would need some more polish before it can be accepted. [/hider] [@Legion02] for Allura [Hider] The first thing that springs to my eyes about the sheet, regrettably, is that there are scarcely any complete sentences in it - truncated fragments abound, beyond the point where it could be waved off as a stylistic choice. Conscious effort would be needed to improve the flow and grammar of these sentences to make them reach the standard of quality that we want for the IC. There are also some missing articles, which makes the whole look even less cohesive, the tense shifts from past to present at some points, and there is one sentence that reads as something of a statement yet ends with a question mark. As for the character herself, some more elaboration on her activities and powers would be welcome. Right now, it's uncertain what she does with the souls she collects and for what purpose she does that. Her background also implies that peaceful demeanour can combat or weaken her somehow, which is an interesting detail and worth elaborating on more. In its present state, the sheet does not unfortunately warrant acceptance, and some fairly thorough corrections would be necessary to bring it up to standard. [/hider] More to come when we're out of Morpheus' embrace.