[Damaging Sense]

She fights as though nothing can harm her.

Redana--Alexa has to keep reminding her that this [i]is[/i] Redana, her ward--shrugs off blows that should fell primeval beasts. It's breathtaking in the same way that a storm is: a terrifying reminder of your own mortality, of things almost beyond mortal ken. 

And she's [i]playing.[/i]

Alexa knows what pulling your punches looks like, and this isn't it. This isn't trying to spare someone's pride, trying to let someone down easy, trying to avoid hurting someone. Redana is a cat batting around a mouse, letting it slip through her paws before dragging it back by the tail. She's [i]enjoying[/i] this.

And all it takes is for the Kaeri to find one chink in the armo--yep, that's a knife.

Oh fuck, that's a knife!

What the heck is she doing?! Her ward's in danger!

Alexa wades through the storm of blows like a backhoe through gravel. She has a ward to protect, no matter whether the ward can protect herself or not! 

And immediately on reaching her, head still ringing from a particularly vicious club, she realizes the futility of her actions. It's not that she's-- well, look at Redana! She's like a mountain made of smaller, musclebound mountains! Maybe if she could get an arm or three around her she could--no, um, maybe if. 

"We need to go!" She hangs off Redana's wrist, doing her best to drag her away and making zero progress.

From this close, she can see all too easily the ugly bone still lodged in Redana's chest. How are they going to get that out? That's the kind of thing that exsanguination is made out of. Does this place have a hospital? She has to be the worst bodyguard every created, that's [i]two[/i] in a row she's gotten killed!

(What a relief it was when she knew she was free of number one.)

But here, staring at Redana--it [i]has[/i] to be Redana--it tears at her. They have to go! She's trying to help you, you damn fool! Why did you have to make it so hard to dislike you?!

If you'd been a worse master, this would be so much simpler! If you'd been like Molech and been a threat, it would be so simple to let the Bloodfeather continue! Even if you'd just been like your mother, left Alexa to fend for herself, treated her like dirt, Alexa could ahve persuaded herself! Vasilia might have suspicions, yes, but ultimately they'd have been able to leave, to disappear into the universe! Alexa could have, have!-- 

She doesn't know what she could have. Could have left? Followed that letter burning a hole in her? Could have found a small planet, far from the Empire, and prayed to every god to obscure Nero's auguries? 

But no! You had to be-- Well, let's not mince words, a naive prat. But that's not something that merits death!

So now she sits, tugging futilely at a wrist. You had to be kind, didn't you?
[2 on Get Away]