And another round.

[@Dead Cruiser] for Emel
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This depiction of magic as used to kill Maro’s son seems much more in line with what’s intended for the setting, and Oraculum said that he talked to you a bit about the magic trick and is likewise satisfied. So with that matter settled, we’re glad to accept the CS now.
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[@Forett] for Sol’Kureth
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This iteration is much better than the previous one that we reviewed, so well done! 

I’m fond of the narrative change to have the two trolls rather than the human wizard; it seems more fitting and I also like the implication that you’ll probably be having some arc early on that involves rallying (or corrupting, haha) the trolls and potentially then going on to invade the mainland with that force. Now, I will note that Oraculum in particular told me that he wasn’t enthusiastic with their speech being portrayed as so primitive and ‘caveman-like’. Maybe Oraculum had something more like Norse mythology in mind where they’d be more sinister and clever to contrast the ogres’ explicitly dim-witted nature. In fairness though the OP didn’t indicate how their speech might be portrayed, and with the Lord of the Rings as an obvious major inspiration, I don’t mind so much that your portrayal of them is more like how they appear in the Hobbit. 

I told you about Ora’s thoughts in case you found yourself agreeing with him or reconsidering, but at the end of the day I think that either way of depicting the trolls would be fine. I’m glad to let you be the one to flesh them out as you see fit, seeing as it looks like you’ll be interacting with trolls far more than anybody else. Just try to be consistent in your portrayal of them, whichever route you go.

We noticed some minor typos and other errors, and in a few places there’s strange phrasing or word choice, with Oraculum citing this line in particular, “Flesh twisted and crawled over the skeleton until it looked more and more like a creature of flesh.”

My main concern from before, that of the misuse of the conditional tense, is [i]mostly[/i] fixed but I still did see one or two instances of it. I’m not totally sure if you understand exactly what we’re talking about, so I’ll give some examples.

This was fine: “He had to follow his vision, if he did not he would not get what he desired.”

Switching from the past tense narration to conditional made sense for the end of that sentence, because you stated a condition ‘if he did not’.

Now for contrast, here’s two instances where you’re making an error because the surroundings are in past tense and there is no condition or discernible reason to use the word ‘would’:
“He would utter another word of power, and the stone glowed the same as the other.”
“The ground around the skeleton would crack...”

Having this error pop up just a few times rather than dominate the entire second half of the myth is obviously a massive improvement, but I’m staying a stickler about you fixing those last few instances, in the hopes that I can be reassured you understand what we’re talking about.

The narrative content of your myth and overall CS are quite good so I hope this isn’t discouraging. You’re like 95% of the way to the finish line; if you can just do some grammatical and structural corrections we’ll gladly accept your sheet. In fact you’re so close that another formal review seems unnecessary. Just catch our attention on the Discord after you’ve made some edits, and if we think it looks good we’ll tell you then and approve you on the spot.
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[@Tuujaimaa] for Máthair-Amaidí
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I praise your narrative myth for possessing the great trinity of being enjoyable to read, succinct, and a good demonstration of your writing skill.

Something that struck me about the first sentence -- you say, “Long before the White One began [b]their[/b]...” and use the word ‘their’ when the Exalted One is unambiguously male, meaning ‘his’ would be correct, or maybe even ‘His’ if you want to point to the Exalted’s godly nature. That’s actually all that I found to nitpick though, so consider this paragraph just another pat on the back.

As GMs Oraculum and I find ourselves wondering what sort of things a character might do early on. Your character seems to have at least two suitable motivations: spreading this magical disease and its resulting insanity, and of course trying to somehow break free. I can infer that you’ll be able to put together a solid early plotline and find things to post about to further those two motivations, and while your position both geographically and as a pretty thoroughly imprisoned scion might limit your ability to interact with others, Pagemaster’s’ twins are somewhere in the same general region so maybe you two could still find a way to work on something together if you wanted, even before the big amphibious kraken-monster breaks free.

Sheet accepted!
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[@Legion02] for Allura
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Oraculum’s chief complaint was the prevalence of sentence fragments, and I still see a few of them. Here’s two examples: 
“The servant attacked. Expecting an easy slaughter.”
“They marched on. Until the stairs ended in front of a lonely hallway.”

The flow of many of your sentences, even some of those that may be technically grammatically correct, strikes me as very choppy. This is just stylistic advice now, but I suggest that you do try to make a conscious effort to string some of these thoughts together more fluidly, make more use of the comma, and try not to devote an entire sentence to what could just be a clause in a longer, compound sentence. Reading sentences aloud might help with this.

Anyways, if my memory serves then the sentence fragments were much fewer in number this time than they were before. You’ve made strides in the right direction for sure. If a few remaining sentence fragments were the only issue I’d probably be willing to take this CS, but there’s a bit more.

I’ll address something that I don’t think Oraculum did, which is your dialogue punctuation. I see some very consistent errors here; you terminate quotations with periods in some places where commas would be correct, for example in the very first sentence. And then right after that your dialogue tag ‘said’ is capitalized when it should be lower-case, as it’s technically part of the same sentence as the quotation that precedes it. I think that [url=https://grammar.yourdictionary.com/grammar/style-and-usage/how-to-punctuate-dialogue.html]this[/url] is a page that you might find very helpful as it has numerous examples and can explain more thoroughly than I.

The content of your narrative myth was all quite good and I think Oraculum and I both dislike playing grammar Nazi, but hopefully you can appreciate our perspective -- if we don’t insist upon corrections here and now, it’s all but guaranteed any consistent errors will be carried over into all of the IC posts. As I said, you seem to have made steps in the right direction, but the grammar and punctuation still have enough errors for me to withhold acceptance for now.
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[@Leotamer] for Cucaniensis
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The content is good and I enjoyed this second myth.

That being said, to its detriment there's an assortment of typos, extra words left in, and other miscellaneous errors. These errors weren't of a consistent nature which is good and makes me more willing to overlook them as minor mistakes, but at the same time there were several of these small errors and some were to the detriment of clarity. Look no further than the first paragraph, for instance, "His father was once lived as an important and honorable man..."

I can't tell for certain if that was intended to be 'was an important or honorable man' or 'once lived as an important and honorable man' and this confusion then ripples into the next sentence or two where it's unclear whether 'he' refers to the narrator or the narrator's father, and I'm also confused as to who the traitor is supposed to be. The father, I guess? Or maybe just someone else that isn't elaborated upon?

This isn't enough to make me reject the sheet (though you should still fix these quickly before posting this in the characters tab, and proofread) but it was treading near the line. Accepted.
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Lauder, Oraculum hasn't had the chance to give me his thoughts on your sheet yet, so it hasn't been reviewed. Unfortunately I don't think he or I will be doing anything on RPGuild for Christmas, so you'll probably have to just wait until the 26th. In the meantime I'll give you some quick and informal feedback: I like what you're going for and most of the character ideas, but for the dying words of some tired of great seer, those parts at the beginning were pretty long-winded and filled with what seemed like an unreasonably big amount of information. In Christmas terms, the present was good, but the wrapping was quite sloppy and it bordered closer to a description (as compared to a narration) than we would've liked; you know, the point of the sheet's weird format with the myth is to challenge you to 'show us, don't tell us'.

Merry Christmas everyone, and hopefully when we reconvene in a day or two the IC will be sprung into action! I already have a solid idea for an opening post.