[center]
[h1][b][u]Carn[/u][/b][/h1]
&
[color=violet][h1][b][u]Cadien[/u][/b][/h1][/color]
[i]28 years after Antiquity…[/i]
[/center]

[hr]
  Three days had passed.

  No word from Cadien. No news of what had happened from Galbar. Three days of enduring the hospitality of the songs.

  It was far from unpleasant. In truth, some part of him was actually beginning to enjoy it. All he had done was set a condition that he didn’t want to hear any songs about himself or the war he had fought. The food was good, as was the music - even if he was reluctant to admit it. The other types of performance were endearing too, in their own ways. The plays sought to emulate reality despite being nothing like it, yet that carried its own sort of charm.

  And yet, he could not fully enjoy himself. Despite the comforting words of Shae, his failures and those he had left behind still hung in the back of his mind.

  He sat on a cliff overlooking the sea, practicing motions with his sword: elegant yet efficient strokes he often used in combat. From time to time he would take a break and gaze out at the horizon. Now, one of those breaks had just come to an end.

  Carn rose to his feet and drew his sword once more. He fell into a stance and resumed the familiar patterns of strokes. Shae had joined him a few times, watching his movements with interest and commenting on how he ‘didn’t flow’ quite right, whatever that meant. She had risen, taking the sword from him and staring at it - looking completely out of place in her delicate hands - and imitated his movements. It was odd at first, she did not know quite how to hold it and so Carn had shown her, and when she danced with it again it looked both beautiful and deadly - like a cobra snake dancing to the flute of one of those wandering southerners he had seen once, or a leoness gyrating on air before turning suddenly and plummeting towards its hapless prey.

  She was not here now, though. She was practising for a play and had wanted him in it - as himself. She had been subtle, but it had ended in a bout of squabbling and now he was here. Strangely enough, he felt some regret for turning her down. But there was no way he could imagine himself standing on a stage and reliving his own actions, following a script divorced from reality for the entertainment of people who had never been there.

  He pushed the thoughts on his mind and focused on his training. Swinging, lunging, parrying, and blocking against imaginary foes. If only he had a partner. Even if he would have to hold himself back, as he had whenever he sparred with someone on Galbar. It was then that a dark thought crossed his mind. Was his skill in swordsmanship truly due to his own skill, training, and experience? Or was it yet another of the many gifts Cadien had bestowed upon him?

  The thought angered him, and he felt his movements come sharper and his brows furrow. But after a few moments Cadien’s words came to him - “Did you not resent what little sway over your life I already held?” It gave him pause. He had not really thought about the exchange since, now that he had calmed and the anger of the moment was gone. Was it true? Was this anger evidence of that? Even now he wished to be free of his father’s shadow - and yet he blamed him for not being there when he [i]had[/i] been free. His brows knotted and he started moving again. What [i]did[/i] he want?

  He thought of all the things he had ever wanted. Wealth? It was nice, but ultimately just a means to acquire other things. Power? No, he had chafed under the burden of leading an entire army. His desires had never been material. Fame? That had its perks, but it also led people to expect things of him. Then he finally placed it: the most prominent motivator throughout his life. The one he had strived his hardest to achieve, and had nearly ruined himself when he couldn’t have it.

  Acceptance. Love. Family. Companionship.

  He had wanted to please Aurielle. When she rejoined him, his march against Ketrefa had been as much to impress her and keep her with him as it had been to rescue his brother. His desire to rescue his brother had been genuine too, until he found out Brundt was already in service to the enemy. But before that, he had been hoping for a genuine reunion.

  After he had been parted from his family, but before he met Aurielle, he had been alone. A wandering vagrant who dirtied his hair so he wouldn’t be recognized. A boy who pickpocketed, begged, and stole to get by. Then as he grew older, he fought and killed. He became good at it, and even enjoyed it, but he hated the life it forced him to live. Living in filth or on the road. Never staying in one place, and never having any friends or loved ones he could trust.

  Aurielle and the Redspears were the first people he had spent more than a month with. No wonder he became so fixated on her. No wonder that, to this day, turning his back on the mercenary band they had built was still one of his deepest regrets.

  Was that it, then? Was that all his motivation boiled down to? A lovesick fool who wandered the world desperately seeking out what few souls were willing to put up with his blunders and crimes? He lowered his sword, suddenly losing his energy for the practice. The hilt slipped from his fingers, and the blade sank onto the grass. He stepped forward, and looked down at the sea below.

  What would happen if he jumped? Would Cadien save him again? If not, would the songs miss him? He clearly didn’t fit in with their little world. All he brought with him were troubles Cadien clearly didn’t wish for them to be exposed to. They’d move on.

  Then, the question rang in his mind again: what did he want?

  He had failed to find his place on Galbar, and he was failing to find his place here. Did that mean a place didn’t exist for him?

  No. It did not mean that. Because he had only ever looked in one place. He had only ever done the one thing he had been good at. He had never tried to see if he was good at anything else. What sort of fool behaved the exact same way over and over again, and then became surprised when the world refused to accommodate him? As he looked down at the water, he knew he did not wish to die. If he died now, he would die a failure; a flawed, broken, and blind man. That was not what he wanted. That was not what anybody who cared about him would want.

  What he really wanted was a second chance.

  But such a thing would not simply fall into his lap. It was something he needed to earn. Resentful as he was about his circumstances, bitterly lamenting about them would not change a thing.

  He turned away from the water, and walked back toward the town, leaving the sword in the grass. 

[hr]
The next few weeks were spent getting adjusted, both to life in Meliorem and the company of the Songs.

The clothes were strange, the foods were strange, the people were strange. But they were strange in a good way; so much better than anything Carn had encountered on Galbar. Then there were the performances; so much more refined, complex, and eloquent than anything he had seen on Galbar. He had heard that nobles from the cities enjoyed such things, but he had never seen anything like that in person.

In time, the plays and the poems and the music eventually began to grow on him. He found himself liking them, though he still refused to listen or speak about his own ‘adventures’, even if they could be called that.

It was nice, not having to worry about always looking over his shoulder or fearing that he would be stabbed or robbed in his sleep. Not having the pressures of command on him, as everyone looked to him for leadership. He was safer and more comfortable than he had been in years.

But as comfortable as he was, he could not pretend everything was alright. He missed Aurielle. He missed Yarwick. He missed Ingrid. He needed answers.

So, he marched up to Cadien’s palace to demand them.

[hr]
[color=violet]“Ah!”[/color] Cadien exclaimed as Carn stepped into the throne room. [color=violet]“You have returned!”[/color] One look in Cadien’s eyes told Carn that was exactly what the god had expected to happen. [color=violet]“Tell me, how are you enjoying your stay?”[/color]

“Well enough,” Carn replied warily. “Aurielle. Yarwick. Ingrid. The rest of my men. What happened to them?”

The god’s smile faded, but he did not frown. [color=violet]“Yarwick and Ingrid are alive. Aurielle, I don’t know where she is. She vanished from the field of battle. I suspect her maker’s involvement.”[/color]

“Who made her? Where did he take her?” Carn asked at once.

[color=violet]“The God of Magic,”[/color] Cadien replied. [color=violet]“And no, I don’t know where he took her.”[/color]

“Can you find out?”

[color=violet]“Perhaps. If Qael chooses to tell me. I could ask, of course, but last I spoke to him on the matter of his daughters he was a bit… nevermind.”[/color] Cadien leaned forward on his chair. [color=violet]“But trust me. You are better off without her.”[/color]

Carn’s hand curled into a fist. “And what gives you the right to decide that?”

[color=violet]“I am the master of this realm,”[/color] Cadien replied. [color=violet]“No, I [i]am[/i] this realm. I have a right to decide who comes or goes. She would not be well-suited to this place. She is volatile, and destructive. Perhaps if she had not changed so drastically since when you first met her, I might have tried to bring her here alongside you. But alas…”[/color]

“She hasn’t changed that much,” Carn protested, though he knew that was a lie. Yes, the woman he had come to love was still there on the surface, but she had become more callous, cynical, and bloodthirsty than ever before. He had known it even on Galbar, but he had blinded himself to it.

[color=violet]“You know that isn’t true,”[/color] Cadien chided. [color=violet]“I tried to convince her father to steer her onto a better path, you know. I don’t think he listened. I suspect other gods have ties to her as well, and their influence has not been for the better. To court her is to court destruction, if not to yourself, then to others. Is that truly what you want?”[/color]

“It doesn’t have to be that way. I can…”

[color=violet]“You can change her?”[/color] Cadien asked. [color=violet]“I’ve been observing mortals for millennia. They always think they can change their friends or their loved ones. Sometimes, they succeed, but on most occasions? They don’t. In the worst cases, all they do is create a rift. Do you think this Aurielle is one who will listen to reason, or be moved by emotion? She tried to destroy a suit of armour, simply because said suit of armour had a female voice and had been in your vicinity.”[/color] His mouth curled into a frown. “You owe that suit of armour an apology, by the way.”[/color]

Carn glared at the god, but said nothing. Cadien stared back. Eventually, Carn broke the gaze and looked down at the floor. “You’re right…” he whispered, as a sudden sense of grief and heartbreak overcame him. The things she had done. The things he had overlooked. The way things could have been instead, had she not changed the way she had. The knowledge that there was nothing he could do, because beings of far greater power were invested in his and her fates.

It all came back to the gods. The all-seeing, all-powerful beings who held sway over creation and destruction. The beings who had denied him a simple life. Who had separated him from his family.

He couldn’t even bring himself to feel angry at this point. Too much had been taken from him. Not just him, but all mortals.

Then, Carn heard footsteps, and looked up to see that the God of Perfection had risen from the throne to approach him.

[color=violet]“I did not wish for life on Galbar to be so horrendous,”[/color] Cadien admitted. [color=violet]“There needs to be challenge, yes, but not so much suffering. Ketrefa was a source of great suffering, and your war against them was meant to put an end of that. Either you would make an example of them, take control and change things yourself, or your own brother would pick up the pieces and fix things from within. But it was… foolish of me to use you in such a manner.”[/color]

Carn looked Cadien in the eye. “How do I know this isn’t another trick? That you’re not just saying what you think I want to hear?”

The God of Perfection frowned, and then gripped Carn’s wrist. Suddenly, Carn’s surroundings faded away, while new images and feelings overwhelmed his senses.

He found himself standing before a crowd of primitive humans, clad in furs or nothing at all. Next he was flying through the stars, on the back of a great winged beast, looking down at Galbar below. The shape of the world was round, like a sphere. How could it be round? Then he found himself embracing what appeared to be a pale merelli, except they were both hovering over the open ocean. Next he saw the creation of the merelli, with that same woman from before present. Following that was a feeling of boredom and isolation, as he languished on a throne.

No. He wasn’t himself. He was Cadien. These events were through the God of Perfection’s eyes.

And finally he came to the present. Carn, as Cadien, was looking at himself through Cadien’s eyes, and speaking with Cadien’s lips. And he, from Cadien’s perspective, knew it to be true.

Then the vision faded, as Cadien released his wrist and Carn was back in the throne room. He nearly lost his balance, but Cadien’s hand came up to his shoulder to steady him.

“If you speak the truth…” Carn whispered, “then make it right.”

[color=violet]“I shall try,”[/color] Cadien said. [color=violet]“I cannot account for the influence of the other gods, but I do not intend to give up on my work simply because of a few miscalculations. You no longer need to worry about Ketrefa. Brundt will see to it, and I will guide him with more transparency than I did you.”[/color]

“And what of the men who followed me?”

[color=violet]“I will encourage the Ketrefans to show mercy to those who survived. As to those who didn’t… I have a plan. It will be a long time before I see it enacted, but I intend to turn this place into a refuge for the souls of fallen warriors. Their sacrifices will not be unawarded or unacknowledged.”[/color]

Carn wiped a tear from his eye. “And what of me?”

[color=violet]“Your work is done. Your fight is over. You may rest here, if you wish. And when the time for the rest of your siblings has come, they may rest here too.”[/color]

[hr]
[hider=Post Summary]
The post opens with Carn practicing swordsmanship all alone. He got into an argument with Shae so he has no one to talk to. He engages in some more self-reflection, once again coming to the conclusion that he is a useless failure. He stops practicing and walks toward the edge, contemplating jumping.

But eventually he talks himself out of it. He thinks about what he wanted, and realizes it was never about money, battle, or fame. All he wanted was love and acceptance. It sounds cliche but there it is. It is why he was so easily influenced by Aurielle, why he wanted so badly to reunite with his siblings, and why he didn’t want to disappoint his men by backing out of the siege.

He realizes that although he did stupid things for stupid reasons, dying won’t change that. He can’t just blame the gods either, because they never forced him to do anything. The only thing he can do is hope for a second chance.

So, he begins settling into life in Meliorem. Then, after a few weeks, he decides to speak to Cadien directly. It’s a bit of a rehash of the themes of their first conversation, but Carn is much calmer and more open-minded. 

Cadien explains his reasoning for doing what he did, why Carn’s relationship with Aurielle was a trainwreck. He once again acknowledges that he himself made mistakes, but this time he shows Carn his own thoughts and memories to confirm that he was in fact telling the truth.

Cadien also reveals that Yarwick and Ingrid are fine. He will ensure that the remnants of Carn’s army are treated with mercy, and the fallen will be granted a place in the afterlife he intends to turn Meliorem into (remember that this is still a year or two in the past.) He says that Carn is welcome to live in Meliorem, and eventually his siblings will be granted the same honour.
[/hider]

[hider=MP Summary]
[u]Cadien[/u]
[b]Beginning MP:[/b] 5
[b]Beginning DP:[/b] 5
-1MP to grant Carn limited access to Cadien’s thoughts and memories, showing him a bit of the past and also what he was feeling during their conversation. Carn didn’t get to see all of Cadien’s memories, and there are no real permanent effects, but on rare occasions he might dream of things that Cadien didn’t actually show him.
[b]Ending MP:[/b] 4
[b]Ending DP:[/b] 5
[/hider]

[hider=Prestige Summary]
[u]Carn[/u]
[b]Beginning:[/b] 65
+5 for 10k+ characters
[b]Ending:[/b] 70
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