And this one's done too.

[@DrRtron] for Ogrenauth and Rukath

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Seeing as the two sheets were conveniently posted together, we’ll do this as a two-in-one.

Ogrenauth’s myth has the same pitfall as a few other sheets, namely that it is less of a narrative than an overall static description presented through dialogue. It could be well to add some more animation to it, perhaps by giving more vivid portrayals of the six’s actions (“Lo! They stagger forth and kneel before the black throne!”). However, it still conveys events and writing style well enough, so it’s not really necessary to make changes of this kind.

The content is mostly fine - the story on the whole is good, and we’ve already discussed the matter of the characters’ abilities. Some details are worth pointing out, however. The existence of beasts like griffins on mankind’s side is a bit of an odd one, since the Exalted and his cohorts represent the advance of civilization as opposed to Chernobog’s wild chaos, but that could be explained by the creatures being tamed (and besides it’s understandable enough given Uhtric’s sheet mentions the griffin as a “noble” symbol even to date). On the note of the Shadow’s exploits, Cyclone’s other sheet mentions that Paterdomus, and not Marleon, was the first capital of the Holy Kingdom at the origin, so the royalty may not have resided there, but there would likely have been a local ruling family to throw into disarray, perhaps a branch of the same dynasty as well. 

Another minor remark is the fact that the ogres’ current state is wholly the Exalted’s doing. It would in my opinion be more thematic and adherent to the OP lore if their positive qualities, like great strength, were a boon from Chernobog to better serve him (perhaps along with their hideousness, since evil always has a double edge and all that), while the White God’s punishment was to cripple their minds.

The sheet does leave some ends open, particularly as to the Ogrenauth’s current state (are they still disembodied? Do they need to possess someone to manifest into the world?) and motivation. While that can be handily answered in their introductory posts, it would still be good to have some words about it there for easier reference.

Rukath is much more straightforward, and as such has less to pick apart. His introduction is comprehensive enough, and while it doesn’t clearly spell out what exactly it is that he does you’ve separately explained that as well, so it’s fine. Some more detail about how he managed to overpower an awakening scion could have been good to mention (did he just happen to be there when it was still weakened, or did he plot it out somehow?), but that’s not easy to convey through a myth like this, and it’s not a major issue either way.

Rukath is approved, as is Ogrenauth once some minor edits/additions are made.

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