[center][img]https://i.imgur.com/Z9pSD60.png[/img][/center] [hr] [i][b]~The Fight~[/b][/i] Fog of war. Three simple words that describe such chaos and disorder that it's only fitting that they are as vaguely described as this. For any one man or woman it can mean a million things at once, from simply not knowing where an engaged enemy might be, to a downright complete and utter self doubt that crippled them at a mission critical time. Amy was definitely experiencing the latter at this precise moment, her anxiety about doing a spell like this nearly driving her over the edge. She was worried for everyone inside the enemy ship, and while she knew she had to help them out, what if it was her spell that would cause the enemy to think something was amiss? If it didn't work out then all they would hear are a few commanding words through their radio, something that would raise suspicion in even the most lax of fighters when coming from an unidentified source. Thankfully Iris was here to help her out, and with a sigh Amy flashed a more relaxed smile as she listened to what the other girl had to say. Having her trust meant a lot to Amy while she doubted her own abilities: she could now replace her own self-doubt with the confidence someone else had in her abilities. With a deep sigh she would nod, still smiling as she reached over to gently stroke Iris's cheek for a moment. [color=f49ac2]"Thank you Iris, your words are too kind to me. But you're right, I can do this. I have to do this."[/color] She explained with a sigh as she turned back to the comms terminal, her hand hovering above it as her eyes gazed at the interface while the doubt began creeping back into her. [color=f49ac2][i]No, stay strong Amy.[/i][/color] She was ready to go now, she knew it. She had people relying on her. She was just about to start broadcasting when the all-clear message came through that they were clear. Amy could hardly believe what she had heard, her ears perking up for a moment as she looked over at Iris and Samuel in first confusion, then with a quickly developing smile. [color=f49ac2]"They did it! We're clear!"[/color] She blurted out as she spun around on the spot before rushing over to the siblings, encompassing the both of them in a warm hug of joy as best as she could, a quiet [color=f49ac2]"eeeeeeek"[/color] leaving her lips as she let all the built up anxiety get out of her system. It took quite a few seconds before she would pull back from the hug, beaming at the two others for a moment as she tried to get her thoughts together. [color=f49ac2]"Right, sorry to disturb your magic! I'm just... so happy! Hopefully this means everyone is okay and we can get to Plenty soon. At least, it makes [i]my[/i] job redundant... and that's how it should really be."[/color] She explained with a small sigh, placing a hand on her head as she flashed one more smile at the two. [color=f49ac2]"I'm sorry, I built up quite a headache from all this anxiety, I'm not exactly used to combat responsibilities like all of you... I'll be in my room if you need me." She [/color]explained as she made a polite bow before she would quickly hop n skip out of the bridge at the most awkward speed ever. If it was up to her, Amy would've ran back to her room straight away to cry out all the tears hiding behind her smile, yet walking seemed too dangerous if anyone were to address her and break up her facade before she got back to her safe place. Not a minute later the door to her room opened with a silent hiss and then closed with the same sound as the dull sound of Amy landing in her bed echoed around the room. Then slowly sniffling and the sound of silent crying filled the air, the tiny room's exterior growing into a dark and infinite abyss, lit up only by specks of light that seemed too distant to even be the stars around the ship. They seemed too distant to be in the same galaxy as the ship itself, something far, far beyond the reach of any human that ever lived or will live. But this simplistic serenity was the only companion for Amy while she brood in her dark room, letting her feelings out into oblivion to get rid of them for good. [i][b]~En Route~[/b][/i] The man in the image never seemed to age. No matter how often or how hard she looked, Amy could never seem to find a single white hair in the old man's beard despite the wrinkles that were starting to appear on his face with every smile. It was like... a frame out of place, as if someone had taken a picture from somewhere else and stitched it together into this picture. But she knew it wasn't the case... she hoped it wasn't the case. [color=f49ac2]"I let you too down old man, hmmm?"[/color] Amy asked quietly from the small picture inside of her pendant, her finger running across the small picture in an almost yearning way. Biting her lips softly she closed the pendant before shutting her eyes, reaching out with her free hand as a faint blue glow filled the room for a moment. Once she opened her eyes she was facing down herself, a perfect replica of her younger self... a self she could not recall without this pendant. A part of her past, lost to darkness. Her eyes slid across that young face and smile, coercing a little smirk from herself as she stared at the hand resting on her younger self's shoulder. Standing up she would walk closer, her eyes filled with wonder as she reached out with a hand to slowly pull her fingers along the face and chest of the man she knew the visage of so well. [color=f49ac2]"Who are you..."[/color] She mumbled quietly to herself as she looked at the spitting image of the man on the picture. At first the illusion was incomplete, faulty... but over hundreds of hours she perfected it to the point she could have him dance like a puppet if she so wished. And sometimes, she really do wished they could make him do that, make him talk and tell her all the secrets she was so desperately trying to find out... but that's all he was, a puppet without a voice. Once more Amy would sigh, a few tears rolling down her face as she hugged the illusion with all the warmth and love she would hug a real person, her tears landing on the cold and unforgiving metal floor as the illusion slowly faded out of sight and left Amy crying once again in her own room, laying curled up in the corner as she was left with her thoughts. [color=f49ac2]"Why did I leave you..."[/color] Amy had shut herself up in her room while they were travelling, not feeling ready to face any of the crew. The mission to get them through was a success and she knew it, but in her heart of hearts she felt that she had left the others down. She didn't do anything other than waste Iris's time while on the bridge while she was getting worked up over a spell. Navi was seriously injured during the engagement and she didn't even go to see her... she felt too weak to look the girl in the eyes. She felt that she had let those down that she wanted to protect, she felt so... helpless. This was no smuggler's ship anymore, this wasn't a cargo transport where all she had to do was put up the illusion of a container to hide her sleeping corner. This was a bona-fide military operation, something where she felt she did not belong. A part of her soul itched for combat, but the rest of her being simply yearned for a place to belong to. She would happily give up her hunt to just stay with the kids and help them, but how could she do that in good faith if she was unable to protect them? Slowly Amy opened her eyes as she looked down into the palm of her hand. Her eyes narrowed as a small flame kindled in the middle of her hand, slowly growing in strength until it lit up the room with a cozy orange light, the heat radiating against her palm as Amy winced silently. [color=f49ac2]"N-no... I can't..."[/color] She muttered to herself, shutting her eyes as her grips closed, the small flame in her hand getting snuffed out as she did and the room falling back into complete darkness once more, leaving Amy alone to with her thoughts. [i][b]~Briefing~[/b][/i] The Amy that left the room was different than the Amy that the crew might've come to expect. There was no smile, no giddy half-hopping walk or endearing words. She was quiet, that brightness that usually seemed to follow her around now only a dim shadow of her body. Quietly walking into the back of the room, Amy leaned against the wall behind everyone, hugging herself while she listened half-heartedly at what Tarak had to say. It wasn't that she wasn't interested in her task or didn't want to put in all the effort... if anything, she would put in 200% effort now, but she was starting to doubt if that was enough of her. How could she protect Phi or Navi? How could she protect anyone? Looking at the two girls from the back of the room, she had to make a conscious effort at stopping herself from crying again, the guilt built up over the long hours spent sulking in her own room coming back to her. [color=f49ac2][i]Nobody blames you Amy, only you. Stop being stupid.[/i][/color] A silent hiss left her lips as she closed her eyes and turned her head away, the familiar voice seemingly disappearing for a moment. [color=f49ac2][i]Come on, stop being such a crybaby! We both know you can do more than sulk![/i][/color] Amy clenched her teeth as she shook her head once, banging her head against the wall behind her with a wince, the voice leaving as quickly as it came. With a silent sight she opened her eyes once more as she looked over at Tarak and listened to him finish up his debrief. Great, she was teamed up with Phi. She would've been overjoyed any other time, but now... now she was afraid the girl was going to get hurt because of her. Even if her actions, or rather inactions, didn't affect the last mission at all, Amy feared that she might not get so lucky next time. If she can't act when her friends are in danger... then maybe it was best to leave once more, and go searching for her home. Maybe one day she'd find a place she can call her own and see the dawn of a galaxy that was won over by the kids on this very ship. But as for what her future was? She was torn... her primal instincts told her to run, far-far away from any fighting or responsibility, but her maternal instincts have kicked into a higher gear ever since she's been on the ship, and they were screaming at her to fight tooth and nail to protect the kids. She refused to believe that they were just fighters who had been trained to kill, and she wanted to help them see through this war so they can return to being just kids... make up the time they lost. Such were the thoughts that weighed heavy on Amy's mind as she leaned against the wall in the bridge, listening with one ear to the inputs from the rest of the crew as the debrief ended. [@dragonpiece]