[h1]Welcome to the Voting and Feedback round for RPGC#30![/h1] [b]Voting and Feedback guidelines[/b] [list] [*]Please take your time to read through all the entries before voting for your favourite work. The reasons you base your vote on are up to you, as long the vote isn’t based on whether or not you like the author. It would be nice if you could share why you voted for a specific work. [*]Giving feedback is optional but highly encouraged. When giving feedback you should be [b]respectful[/b] and [b]constructive[/b]. It’s good to point out any flaws or the things you feel could be improved or why you didn't like something, but don’t be mean. Make sure to point out what you liked or what appreciated in the entry too. [*]Contestant may and are encouraged to vote for and give feedback for the other entries, but don’t vote for your own entry. If contestants wish to withhold a vote and only give feedback, that is good too. [*]The entries are anonymous unless the writer asked for having their name added. That being said, writers may claim their work at any time during the voting period. [*]The entry with the most votes will win, but in case of a tie a Contest Mod will cast the tie-breaker vote. [*] You can vote for entries and post your feedback in this thread, but if you rather have your vote and/or feedback be anonymous you can PM it to [@Calle]. [*]The voting period deadline is February 15th, 9:00 CET, which is 8:00 game time (both times are in a.m.). [/list] [hr] [h1]The Entries[/h1] [hider=By Which The Stars Are Hung] By Which The Stars Are Hung by Kalleth 1100 Words My breath clouded in the chilly predawn air. There’s a special kind of peace to be found in the quiet hours before the sun rises. My knees ached from kneeling on the grass, so I rose and I stretched my shoulder and back slowly, feeling the multitude of cracks and pops. I couldn’t help but let a chuckle escape my lips, I dropped my gaze to examine my hands. Wrinkled, worn, and callused beyond belief. An amateur sculptor could carve more inviting hands from volcanic rock. Still, she’d held them readily enough. I could still feel her hands on mine, the gentleness with which she turned them over and brushed the soft spaces between my fingers. “See,” she would say, “even for all that rough and tough exterior, you’re still smooth as silk underneath.” I squeezed at the empty air, as if I could grab the memory, hoard it away. The freshly turned earth lay before me, and I couldn’t bring myself to look straight ahead. I couldn’t face it. Not yet. So I looked up. There it was, the unspeakably vast and luminous firmament, spread out before me. A canvas of deepest black slowly leaching into dark violets and blues. A thousand thousand points of light, great blooming stretches of colour, and the brilliant pale light of the moon hanging below it all. All those lights merged into bleary smears as the clouds of breath came faster, thicker, and with the sounds of agony breaking. I never tried to stop her. She was too headstrong by half for me to even try, but I knew it was her dream. She passed every test, made every grade, and ended up on the fast track despite everything. I could remember how proud she was, the smiles still living in their picture frames. I knew that she would leave me, and that she might even leave the planet, but I never once thought she wouldn’t come back. Her confidence was infectious, like a laugh that never ends, or a song that you can’t help but sing. I remember how excited we both were, when she got the news. I remember cheering myself hoarse on the day of the launch. I remember watching the fiery last spark of my daughter’s rocket fading into the sky, obscured by clouds. I remember those things like I remember what I did ten, twenty years ago, with the subtle sanding of an endless stream of moments lived in-between. I’ll always remember the moments, in an abstract kind of way, but never the specifics. How her hair looked in the harsh Florida sunlight, or the way her orange jumpsuit must have fit her like no other uniform could. I don’t remember why we had that fight the night before she left, but I do remember the regret I felt the next morning, even after I made her favourite breakfast, even after she told me she loved me daddy, and that that would never ever change. I blinked, brushed roughly at my eyes, and opened them. The light was growing, and I looked to the horizon. Deepest reds and oranges, like a jumpsuit, like a rocket hurtling off the planet’s surface. It’s too much to think that I might never know how she felt, never get to hear the wonder and the joy she felt when she finally lost her tether to the world she was born on. I sniffed, clenched my fists, and looked up again. I stared into the endless vast nothing, so full of light and yet so staggeringly abyssal, and I screamed. A raw expression of my rage, of my despair, of my grief, held back too long. The sound died in my throat, I felt dizzy, and swayed. I kept staring up, even as my legs gave out and I felt myself fall back down to earth. The pain in my chest was nothing compared to the hole in my heart. The numbness encroaching on my limbs, eating away at those hands that dug, those feet that walked, was nothing to the empty weight of my daughter’s coffin. The light grew, but so too did the dark. At first I was confused by that, but then I realized, the sky was never one or the other, but both in perfect totality. My breath wasn’t cloudy any longer, I didn’t feel the cold. I only felt the sunlight, slowly climbing up my body, warming me from within. I felt like a rocket, with the fires slowly burning away at what lay beneath. Even as I lay still, I felt the tremendous sensation of the earth falling out from under me. A liberation, complete, and unfettered by worldly troubles. So this is what she felt, hurtling up and away, towards her... Towards her final moments. “Dad, I know you won’t hear me say this,” She sobbed, and I tried to call to her, tell her that I could. My voice wasn’t working. “But I want you to know, somehow, that this wasn’t your fault. I chose this. I wanted to make you proud. I wanted to… show you…” Her voice sounded faint, strained, as though she couldn’t get enough air. Where was she? I tried to move, to look, but I couldn’t help but keep looking up at the stars. “Daddy, I just wanted to show you the stars, and bring them back down to you.” “I know, little one. I can see them.” I said, with all my might. I felt her smile, even though I couldn’t see it at first. The sun was too bright. The stars were disappearing, one by one. Even through the glare, I could swear I saw her lips curling, those brilliant eyes of hers shining, I could just make out- A river, vast and overflowing with light incandescent, suffused with countless lights brighter than any star. Some incomprehensibly vast swirl of colour flowing throughout and between, connecting points like a gigantic web. Everything all flowing towards a single towering tree, where hung nine crystals, making the branches bow from their weight. Above it all, a storm of ice and flame crashing into mist that made the clouds that hung just above the highest leaves. Beneath everything, a slow and steady beat, like the heart of the universe thrummed with regularity. A voice, deeper even than the beat itself, spoke out. “Welcome home. It is time your eyes were opened. The firmament you’ve longed to reach is open to you. She waits for you, at the top of the World Tree. We all do.” “We?” I asked. “Your family, All-Father.” [/hider] [hider=Alaska Tales] Alaska, the land of the midnight sun sparkled with all its glory. Today was the day they were going to see the Aurora Borealis or the Northern Lights in the winter snow. It would take them a few days to round up the sled dogs and prepare enough supplies for the frozen winter outside and enough to feed the dogs. The breeze whirled and began to pick up as the snow began to blow harder outdoors. The dogs were barking to be let inside for a quick food run before the journey was to begin. Picking up the fur lined coat was a common occurrence in this weather but a rugged outdoors person had to prepare. After slinking the pack full and feeding the dogs, I packed up the snowshoes and enough supplies to get to my stop. Perhaps after i was done, I’d find a hot spring to relax in. Stepping out into the crisp, cold snow with my cold black boots was a chore as i slung the bag on my shoulder. I threw the pack into the sled and prepped the sled dogs for the adventure that lied ahead. “Come on, Arctic, Come on Alpine… we need to go, we can’t be late if we are going to catch the show tonight if you catch my drift.” The dogs were finally ready after fighting the cold to get things ready. I stood ahead and started to go as the dogs began to run pulling me along. It was the dead of winter and only tonight could I watch the greatest show on Earth in the skies overhead. I just hoped what I mapped out tonight would lead me right toward the strange occurrences in the skies. There were no lights to guide us but we moved anyway. After hours of countless searching, we were about to give up when we looked up into the sky. There was a beautiful and starry version of the Northern Lights right in front of our eyes, just like we always dreamed of seeing. A awe-inspiring version of greenish-blue, waves moving slowly in front of my eyes. Good thing I had packed up supplies for the long journey home. I quickly pulled out a camera with the flash function on it before it froze and took a few breathtaking pictures of the sight, hoping I could get a few more pictures. After I got all I wanted, I packed up as the dogs were lying by the makeshift campfire that had still been blowing in the snow packed wonderland. It was time to go home and perhaps I might be back before the three hours of daylight rolled around to be honest. “Dear Journal, Today I saw the mystical Northern Lights. There is nothing like it in the world and it’s beauty is breathtaking once you see it for yourself. I’ll never forget this sight, plus I got a few good pictures after all that." I chucked, perhaps another day when the dogs didn’t need their beauty sleep. [/hider] [hider=To the stars] [b]To the Stars[/b] [i]“Isn’t it beautiful?” she sighed as she laid on her back gazing at the star filled sky. “It sure is,” the man lying besides her agreed. She turned her head only to find him looking at her. She threw a handful of moss at him. “I’m talking about the stars idiot. One day I’ll soar skies and discover what lies beyond.” A low chuckle rumbled in his chest. “Don’t we already know? The skies hold little secrets nowadays.” he said as he pulled her in an embrace. “Don’t ruin it Duncan, I want to see it for myself.” she said, frowning. “And you know that, I want to fly amongst the stars.” “I know Jill, but for now let’s just enjoy the moment under the best view this world has to offer.” [/i] * Duncan stood on top of the astronomy tower. The highest point of the castle. He overlooked the forests and the meadows, the villages nearby and the mighty river. He was happy here, it was his home and as the eldest son it would one day belong to him. His father had called him home as he had fallen ill. Perhaps it was time to think about settling down and leaving his adventurous life in the past. Take up his responsibilities he had long neglected in pursuit of other goals. He had lived the life of an adventurer for about ten years now and even, though he had loved any minute of it, his fathers illness put things into perspective. Since his relationship with Jillian seemed to be working out this time he was optimistic that he could settle down as the future Lord Knight. Reginald, Duncan's younger brother, joined him on top of the tower. “Father’s condition hasn’t changed, the medician said we can’t have our hopes up too high and if father pulls through it will be quite a recovery afterwards.” He looked at Duncan, “can we count on you?” Duncan nodded, “you know I always came home when it was needed and I’ll stay as long as is needed and probably even longer, I am thinking about settling down.” “Your relationship with Jill will survive this try? Are you both ready to stay grounded and take up the responsibilities?” Reginald asked a little sceptical. He had seen them together and broken up again three times already. The third time’s the charm saying definitely did not apply to them. “I am going to propose,” Duncan replied decisively. Reginald whistled, “Good luck brother, I hope she’ll accept. You’re a good catch. I mean not as good as me, naturally, although you do have the advantage of being the elder brother. Although, you could of course formerly reject your heir-status and give it to me.” Duncan chuckled, “You know it. And no, good try but no. I like damsels-in-distress fawn over me thank you very much.” “Jill is ready to give up her dream?” Reginald asked to be sure. Duncan sighed, “She wants nothing but to fly up to the sky and beyond, but you know her she doesn’t want to accept any aid. I offered to pay her education at the Academy but as you know that was the first time we broke up. She didn’t like the fact I was actually an heir with a small fortune to my name instead of the poor jack-of-all-trades that wanted to pursue adventure, treasure, fortune and glory while taking any job to get to that goal she thought I was. And she certainly didn’t want to be a charity case.” “You could have…” “I know, I know, should have been honest and so on and so on. I’ve learned from that mistake.” Although he might have used a few white lies after that lesson learned that also backfired. “Anyway, fourth time’s the charm right?” he said as he walked away. Reginald rolled his eyes and shook his head. He hoped Duncan would get the happiness he deserved but he wasn’t as positive about the outcome as Duncan was. * Jillian hurried through the castle gate with the setting sun in her back. She had made up her mind. Duncan had been hinting at settling down and she had given it proper thought. They seemed to be really on the same page lately and she felt pretty confident in her relationship with him. This time they could make it work. And she had wonderful news, they could have it all. “Duncan? Where are you?” she shouted through the great hall. “He is in that garden.” Reginald replied as he looked up from his book. Jill nodded, greeted hastily and almost ran off. “Duncan?” she asked when she reached the garden. “Jill,” he replied as he embraced and kissed her. “You look beautiful.” he said as he looked down in her sparkling eyes. She leaned a bit back to look at Duncan. “I have something to tell you.” “I have something to tell you too.” he replied smiling. After some fruitless you-go-firsts they both blurted it out. “Will you marry me and be my Lady Knight?” “I have a job on the Silver Star and we can leave tomorrow!” They both froze as the other one's words sank in. “Marry you and stay here, grounded? Be a castle lady?” she asked as she felt a cloud of dread engulfing her happiness as she tried to envision that future. “Leave now? My father is ill, I can’t leave. I have to take my responsibilities. How can I leave now?” he asked, feeling a knot of despair form in his stomach. He was going to lose her again and this time it wasn’t his fault, well not entirely. “Can’t Reginald take over? We can join the Silver Star together, the captain was okay with an extra hand with your qualities. We can discover space together,” she tried full of hope but her hopes soon evaporated into nothingness as she saw the determination and pain in Duncan's eyes. “No Jillian, I can’t do it, not now. I can’t leave my family now, I left too often at crucial times for selfish reasons. I have to stay,” he paused and grabbed her hands. “Jillian, please stay. We can be happy together, right here” he pleaded. Jill felt torn and it took every bit of willpower to pull back her hands and shake her head. “I can’t, not with my dream being fulfilled.” she looked down. “I can’t Duncan,” she whispered. Duncan let out a shaky sigh as he pulled her once more in an embrace. The last one in a very long time. He reached into his pocket and pulled out two small but decoratively ornated containers. “I won’t be needing this one now,” he said with regret as he put the container with the ring away again. He opened the other one and revealed a necklace with a medallion. The image of Celsaea was skilfully carved in the metal. “At least take this so Celsaea, the Goddess of the sky, the northern lights and the stars can protect you.” Jill nodded with tears shining in her eyes as she took the medallion and put the necklace on. She kissed Duncan and turned around, walking away from the garden, walking away from her beloved man to journey her beloved stars. * Duncan stood on top of the astronomy tower. It was night and exactly 28 hours after she left. Not that he was counting. He watched as a dot of light became smaller and smaller until it was undistinguishable in the dark starry sky just above the green shimmering aurora in the distance. “Celsaea, keep her safe,” he whispered. A gust of wind carried his words away and he thought he heard an “I will” sighing in the wind but he shook his head at what he thought was his wishful thinking. [/hider] [hider=God is great] [i]by [@V a s h][/i] [b][i][color=9e0b0f]Syria[/color][/i][/b] Faariq wiped the sweat from his brow and waited. He watched patiently, moving slowly as one of his friends, Jaamil, managed to break away from an opposing player. Jaamil skillfully handled the ball, and pressed forward. After so many nights like this one, Faariq and Jaamil had come to know what the other was thinking before they acted. The kid who was supposed to be watching Faariq had a mental lapse. It was a brief thing, where Faariq noted the boy's feet were misplaced, and the distance between himself and Faariq was too far. Faariq pounced upon the moment, and surged forward as fast as he could. He kicked up dust from the dirt beneath his feet, breathing heavily. He could hear the opposing team declare their desperate warnings. But, it was too late. Jaamil knew what to do, and sent his pass away right where it needed to be. Faariq received the pass, and watched the goalie. It was one on one, but Faariq had all the momentum. The ball screamed off of Faariq's kick, and it whizzed between two rusted trash cans. Game over. Goal. Faariq and Jaamil met up together, catching their breath, but smiling. The rest of their friends joined in, slapping fives and laughing. All the boys wanted to play one more game, but their fathers who provided light in the night with their cars would not allow it. There was school tomorrow, after all. The boys did not disobey their fathers, as was God's will. One by one, the boys went to their respective cars and left. Faariq said goodbye to Jaamil, and when he was the last boy on the dirt field he went over to the silhouette of his father lit up by the truck. Except, when he got closer, Faariq knew this man was not his father. It was his uncle. "Uncle Kaabir?" Faariq said, feeling uncertain as he always did around his Uncle. Kaabir was a stern and quiet man, devoted to Allah in a manner that shrouded him in a cloak of intensity. Kaabir blew out a stream of smoke, tossed his cigarette to the ground, and put it out. When Kaabir said nothing at all, Faariq spoke once more. "Where is my dad?" "Come." Kaabir said. Faariq obeyed. He moved with the intention of going to the front seat of his uncle's pickup truck but Kaabir denied him this. There was another man in the front seat, a man that Faariq did not know well but had seen with Kaabir and his father in the past. His uncle pointed to the truck's bed. Faariq climbed up, full of questions that received no answers. Faariq wanted to say more, to ask more, but his father had instilled in him a strict obedience to elders, especially to him, and also to men like Kaabir. The drive went longer than usual. Getting home was usually a journey of no longer than fifteen minutes, but an hour had passed. Faariq had no choice but to look up at the clear sky, listening to the truck's engine, and contemplating every star in the dark night above. Where was his father? Why had his uncle not answered? Where were they going? The silence invaded his thoughts, and turned his stomach over the hot coals of nervousness. Before Faariq could truly be overwhelmed by his fears, the truck stopped and his uncle got out. Kaabir told the other man to stay. "Come." Kaabir said to Faariq for the second time that evening. Faariq followed. His uncle had taken him past the edge of what Faariq knew as home. Here was pitch darkness, lit only by the truck's lights and the heavens. He continued behind his uncle's trail until Kaabir stopped well beyond their road. It was just Faariq, his uncle, and the desert wilderness around them. The vast scenery and darkness made Faariq feel alone, and his fear swelled once more before being quelled by the strength of Kaabir's voice. "Do you know why I am here?" Faariq wondered to himself. What did his uncle expect him to say? "No," he spoke hesitantly. Then, thinking of his father again, he tried to ask about him, but his question was cut off by the raising of Kaabir's hand. "Do not lie to me, Faariq. You do know why I am here." "I did not-" "Silence, boy." Kaabir did not shout, but he spoke so firmly that Faariq dared not raise his voice again. His uncle turned to face him, meeting his eyes. In that gaze was a power so solemn and grave that Faariq felt no choice other than to relent, making himself stare at his own feet. "No." Kaabir said. "Look me in my eyes like a man." Faariq continued to look at his feet, but then did as he was told. "Good." Kaabir said after a moment of staring. "It is good for you to look a man in his eyes, nephew. Do not let me, or anyone else break your will, no matter how volatile a situation can get. You may be a boy now, but you will soon be a man." He paused. "Now, I know you lied to me. You know why you are here, because you felt it in your stomach for as long as we drove here. Am I correct?" Faariq, unsure, but feeling as if he understood, nodded. "Yes, but you do not yet know how to voice what you feel. This is the boy's way, but it is not good enough for the man's way. You felt fear, Faariq. Do you disagree?" Faariq shook his head. Kaabir nodded. "It was death, nephew. You felt the fear of death. It twisted your belly into knots. It put the entirety of the world in your chest. It made your heart beat heavily, and clogged your throat to the point you felt the need to scream out for release." Faariq began to feel that same fear again. Death, cold to the touch and devoid of understanding. Death simply was, and there was no arguing with its hand. He thought of his questions. Of his father. He wanted to look away from his uncle's intense gaze, but he forced himself through his discomfort. His cheeks were hot, his heart was weighted, and his eyes felt the still unrevealed prospect of sorrow. "Yes." Kaabir said. It was an answer. Faariq knew what that answer was. A confirmation to his worst fear, and the realization tore away at his presentation of calm. He tried to fight against the tide of sadness, but he failed to prevent the tears from falling. Faariq attempted to choke down a sob. He failed. Faariq expected Kaabir to remain as he always thought of him. Aloof. Distant. But, his uncle opened his arms. "Come." Kaabir said for the third time that night, but this time he lead his nephew to his arms. His uncle hugged him. Faariq sobbed into his uncle's chest, letting his sorrow run freely, and hotly down his cheeks. The pair stayed that way for a while. Kaabir said nothing except for the comfort and solace of a familial embrace. When Faariq could shed no more tears, his uncle released him. Kaabir rested his hands on his nephew's shoulders. "Is it out of you?" Faariq weakly nodded. "I am sorry to bring you this news. But it is good you feel this way about your father. He is my brother, and I feel the same. I already miss him. It is like a hole in your heart, yes? A hole in your life?" "Yes." Faariq said as his uncle wiped away one of his tears. Kaabir looked away from Faariq's eyes, and aimed his sight to the skies. Faariq did the same. The world above them was alight with wonder and starlight. It was hard for Faariq to admire its beauty, and dream upon its visions like he would with his friends late into the night during the months where school was no longer in session. His pain was too fresh, and dreams felt more distant than ever. "How," Faariq began, conjuring the strength to speak, "how did he die?" "He died like a warrior." Kaabir said with little doubt. "He died like a man. A good man. Never let anyone else tell you otherwise. Tomorrow, tonight, it is of no matter. You may hear the papers, or the heads on the televisions speak of tragedy. They will speak of violence and terrorism. Know this, Faariq. They lie. Of our home, everyone respected your father. You have seen it for yourself, yes?" Faariq knew this to be true. People were deferent to his father. They always spoke to him with absolute respect and admiration. "It is the mark of a man with honor. A man of God. For only a man of God can navigate this strange world, with all its chaos, and all its cruelties. To be a man is to dedicate yourself to something beyond yourself, and your father was such a man. I want you to know that there will be many who will tear down your father's name, but they will only do so because it is the 'safe' thing to do. They do not want to create unsteady waters. They fear the waves of conflict, even when conflict is necessary." His uncle's words gave Faariq comfort. He took solace in those words, that his father was brave, that his father was hero. A hero! He was the son of a hero! Is that not what boys dreamed of? Kaabir pulled Faariq close, arm around his nephew, hand on his shoulder. "Look." He pointed. "Look at those stars above us. Look at that vast sky! The heavens shine! Do they not? God is good. God is great! Praise Allah, the Lord of all lords! Even now your father looks upon us. He is one of those shining stars now, a guiding light for you, for me, for all of our people, the people who choose to truly follow the path of Allah." The passions of his uncle stirred Faariq's soul. He could see now, even on a night as dark as this that the light of the heavens were luminous. No matter how dark the shroud of this world could become, the essence of the divine still shines. His father was there, in that vast chasm of the divine unknown, where man could not tread until he stepped beyond the bounds of life. His father was there, shining, watching, a beacon for God's glory. "God is great." Kaabir said. Faariq wiped away the last of his tears. "God is great." [/hider]