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Alja made to put her hand on Benkei's shoulder, then thought better of it, dropping it back down against her thigh. Her voice, when she spoke, was uncharacteristic of her; none of the rising hysteria of the past day, and none of the joviality that suffused it most other times. It was simple. Plain and honest. Because, in Benkei's words, she heard a little bit of herself. [i][color=d1fffc]He's stuck between a rock and a hard place now. Just like you.[/color][/i]

"[color=d1fffc]Look, Benkei.[/color]" She paused, considering her next words carefully. If she misplaced one, the potential damage could be catastrophic. And, after another moment of consideration, she dropped her Pariah pseudo-accent, reverting to her natural Scottish; but one a little less...thick and aggressive that she'd thrown at Rael. Her vocabulary shifted as well: gone were the relatively simple expressions of Alja, replaced with the kind a college student might use. "[color=d1fffc]I won't preten' to understan' what you're goin' t'rough, because no matter our circumstances, they're goin' ta diverge in a number of ways. Obviously. But I think I kinda know where you're comin' from, 'least in a general sense.[/color]" She slung herself down, sitting on the edge of the river and dangling her feet down over the clear water. "[color=d1fffc]Feelin' like you're livin' under a shadow all your life, paralyzed with indecision, but terrified to try steppin' out from under the shadow 'cause the world's goin' ta kick ya right back underneath.[/color]" 

She turned up, no longer staring at the river, but directing her serious eyes straight into Benkei's. "[color=d1fffc]But at th' same time, no matter if we're similar or no, I don't think empty platitudes and reassurances will help ya any. Prob'ly just make it worse. So let's try ta game this out, shall we?[/color]"

She returned her gaze to the river and picked up a stray pebble from the cobbled streets, launching it into the water as she spoke. "[color=d1fffc]Ya say you're not a leader. But let me as ya somethin'. Who, precisely, do ya think would do any better out of us? It should prob'ly be a tank; they're the ones that have the strength ta shotcall while they're also doin' their job in the party. So that leaves...two others, yeah? So, which one? Rael?[/color]" She barked out a brief, scornful laugh. "[color=d1fffc]Not bloody likely! She's brilliant at what she does, but what she does is [i]not[/i] teamwork. And then there's me.[/color]" She laughed. It wasn't as scornful, but there was still an edge of that on the sound. "[color=d1fffc]Tankin'? Yeah, I can do that pretty decent, I like ta think. Last I checked, I was pretty high up on the boards. Not half bad at damage either if I build out for it. Not as good, but...adequate, yeah. But [i]leadership?[/i][/color]"

Her laugh was louder this time. "[color=d1fffc]I mean, [i]come on![/i] Ya saw what happened in the boss room! I heard Luci scream and lost it, couldn't hold formation! I'm not bad at the game, I know my limits, and I'm pretty good at thinkin' on the fly. But plannin'? Strategizin'? Yeah, can't say [i]that's[/i] in my wheelhouse. But let's say we expand it, past the tanks. Give it to all the party, yeah? Graves' only deal is runnin' right in and hittin' till he falls over. Not someone ya can really rally around! Seele's a great support and all. Kept it together real well. But...'member the spikes room? How she impulsively kept holdin' the ceilin' when she didn't need ta? I think she's in the same camp as I am. Kazuki?[/color]" She paused. "[color=d1fffc]He's also a bit like me. Runs in all willy-nilly like, can't really control what he's doin'.[/color]" 

Her voice lowered for just a moment. "[color=d1fffc]I noticed, in the dungeon, ya givin' him orders...or, well not orders, really, but...instructions, occasionally. Don't mistake me, I think he's a great person. Good support. Trustin' my life to him, after all. But...if I'm honest, I don't think he's very good with people. Alex? Well...I like him and all, but I think he's pretty new to the game, yeah? Don't know how much I trust his shotcalling just off that. And that leaves...Kalie.[/color]" She chuckled. "[color=d1fffc]Don't get me wrong, I don't think she deserves ta be kicked out the party or anythin'. But a leader? I think we all know that's...frankly, totally absurd.[/color]"

She swung herself back to her feet, dusting her tunic off. "[color=d1fffc]Luci's catatonic, Leaves can't lead for shite--trust me on that one--and Priscilica has her hands more than full with whatever fragments of Prophecy are left over. You're quite literally the best leader we've got on board.[/color]" her voice softened. "[color=d1fffc]And, Benkei? You're sellin' yourself way short. Your marchin' order and plans were fine. Nobody coulda predicted any of that. We'll make our own decisions in combat--just ya try ta stop me--but that's not on your shoulders. And as for the tavern, if Kalie and Rael weren't at each others' throats and Graves didn't overreact...[i]that's[/i] when I'd be concerned.[/color]"

She cracked her neck, sighing a bit and falling back into her Pariah accent. "[color=d1fffc]But one thing you [i]do[/i] have a problem with--as we can see here,[/color]" she smiled to ensure there was no offense as she stretched her stiff arms over her head again, "[color=d1fffc]is givin' up. Some come on, boss. Buck up, let's get back up to that tavern. You've got some people to keep alive.[/color]"